The Boy Is Back In Town

Dearest Friends, in the words of Lionel Ritchie, "Hello."

No, please, don't go! I swear I've not posted anything by that wretched Commodore. Honest.

Goodness, I suppose it has been nearly a fortnight since I last posted. I did, in fact, return home (aside: it still feels odd calling here that) Monday evening, more or less intact. But frankly it's taken until now to wind myself back up to the point of posting.

Why? Various reasons.

First off, I've been recovering from the journey back. I set out from London's Clapham Junction train station at 6:30 AM London time and stepped out of Vancouver Airport at 7:30 PM the same day. That's 21 hours of travelling, some spent variously on a train, most spent lurching in and out of shallow, cramped sleep on two airplanes, and a chunk whiling away a layover in the antiseptic blandness of Dallas Fort Worth Airport. Where you can, if so inclined, by George W. Bush postcards - they're right next to the ones of the armadillos. Poor armadillos...

Yes, close to a full day on the go, coupled with a total of nine hours of time change, or what the French call décollage horaire. I far prefer the Gallic version, for I always associate it --rightly or wrongly, I know not-- with the verb décoller, which counts among its meanings "to unstick." So time comes unstuck, or one becomes unstuck from time. Indeed, if I do the maths, (starting out in Warsaw, 9 hours ahead of Vancouver, then figuring one day needed to readapt per hour of time change), it explains perfectly why, four days after returning, I still feel I'm somewhere in Greenland. Maybe Godthab .

EDIT: Oh, what a delicious mistake! Dearest Civil Servant has gently pointed out that in fact the French for time difference/jet lag is, in fact, décalage horaire, from the verb décaler, meaning to bring forward or back. Thus my Gallic construct has itself come gramatically unstuck. However, I'm not going to let that stop me! Though I shall now henceforth always enunciate décalage, in my mind I shall be envisioning those hours peeling off and floating away randomly...

I've also been reconnecting with the family. Dearest Wife did a splendid job of keeping Darling Daughter and Little Man clothed, fed, and deployed appropriately. But that's really par for the course. Ten days away is a long time for a father to be away - I remember that clearly from the times during my childhood that my own father would travel on business. So it is lovely to be back doing Daddish things.

Since returning, I've also been trying to reflect on the Warsaw trip, to understand what I should learn from it. I shan't bore you with the details of either the visit, or my ruminations. At least not yet; you have all been so kind with regards to my last, somewhat self-indulgent post, which was done rather rawly, emotionally, and in haste. So, more to come, but I still need to sleep on it a bit. I will say that that the trip was largely a good one on many levels, and overall it deepened my compassion. And for that I am grateful.

As for my brief stays in London at either end of the trip, they were a total blast! It was deeply warming to have had the chance to relax and catch up with many of my Dearest Friends, and to finally meet shiny, happy Baby Tom. And last Sunday, which we largely spent hanging out on Clapham Common in a delightful gaggle of grups and bairns under unseasonably warm skies, was simply too marvellous.

My London touchdown also afforded me the worderful chance to meet Dearest Young Tim of Contrast Podcast fame! It was somwhat odd to see a cyberperson made flesh, but we soon grew convinced of our respective reality as we bonded over pints of ale, podcastic conversation, and weekend engineering works on the British rail network. I will have some startling revelations about Tim in my intro for this week's upcoming podcast (theme: Contrast Podcast Introduced Me To...), but rest assured he is, as I expected, lovely. You can read about Tim's account of our meeting here, though I warn you I don't photo well after a few beers, sleep deprivation, and three hours on Polish Lot airlines...

Oh, and of course, there's music!!

Peter & The Wolf - Safe Travels (buy here or e-here)
Yes, I know this has been about a bit in blogland of late. But it is a wonderful, special tune that accompanied me throughout my journey, particarly through a spot of rough turbulence over the Atlantic. So there.

Peter Bjorn & John - Young Folks (buy here)
Insaney catchy, and it was playing on Easter Monday at Boiled Egg & Soldiers, the posh cafe on the Northcote Road where Dearest T&F@TLH plus Dearest D&S and I had a scrummy full English breakfast. Plus I saw some German hippy-hoppy types do a tepid remix of it on the telly in Poland.

Elton Motello - Jet Boy, Jet Girl (buy here)
Because my arse is stil all flat and my vertebrae still twisted from spending eons stuffed into airplane seats. But Elton obviously has far more exotic adventures while jetting than I do.

Thin Lizzy - The Boys Are Back In Town (buy here)
Coz I'm back.

You see? I promised you there'd be no Lionel Ritchie...

Ungrounded

My Father died slightly less than a year ago, in New York, the city that inadvertently had become his home for approximately forty years. He has not yet, however, been laid to rest. That will happen next week.

His funeral was held shortly after his death, in the Queens neighbourhood where I grew up. After the ceremony, he was cremated, and his ashes stored until My Mother could decide where they should be placed. He had not wanted them returned to Nottingham, the hometown he had left in his twenties. He had variously spoken of having his remains scattered on Long Island Sound, where he had enjoyed sailing, or perhaps in the Swiss Alps, which he had grown to love. But he was not emphatic about any of these options; indeed, he seemed not to be too fussed about what happened.

Towards the end of last year, My Mother, who is Polish, decided that she would bury his ashes in her family grave in Warsaw. And so, after a few months of officialdom in both Poland and the US, Dad's remains are to be laid to rest next week. Tomorrow morning I leave Vancouver to join My Mother, who flew over from New York some two weeks ago.

Dearest Friends, I really have no idea how I feel about what has happened, of what is to come.

I have just re-read what I posted after his death. Back then I questioned the source of my relative calm and lack of despair. I wondered if I had, with remarkable ease, achieved acceptance of change and concomitant serenity. Or perhaps, I mused, I had buried my emotions deep within and risked them squirting out the sides at a later date.

Eleven months on, and my suspicion is that there is indeed stuff buried deep. Very deep. Deep in my core. It hasn't come gushing out in some sort of sulphuric, cathartic geyser, but I can feel it percolating, and I suspect it has been leaking into what I say, what I do, how I operate. Some of it I have identified, most of it I suspect I have not. For example, when I get strict with the children, I find myself using his turns of phrase -- "That is not acceptable" -- and it startles me. It annoys me. I get cross with myself, and therefore crosser with the children.

Sigh.

Though I have thought about Dad often, I have shied away from really cracking open my core to see the messy pulp of how I related and still relate to him, how I felt and how I still feel about him. This is in such stark contrast to my Dearest Mother-In-Law, who I still feel with and within me if not on a daily basis, then near as dammit. Not that long ago I was in Vancouver Kidsbooks, one of her favourite shops. I thought of her as I browsed the shelves, when out of nowhere tears welled up and I missed her so. That has never happened with Dad. I do realise that the connections I made with Veronica were of a very different sort than those I made with Dad. With him I find myself wishing that I had had more time to culture our adult relationship. But comparing my reactions leaves me feeling guilty. Traitorous. Disloyal. Unfilial.

Double sigh.

And then there is My Mother. The pain of losing Her Husband of forty-seven is still fresh and strong. She has found it extremely difficult to cope, in particular with the bureaucracy of life. Pensions, insurance, gas bills, legal matters - Her Husband handled them all. But unfortunately she clutches that pain close to her, and uses it to feed anger and bitterness. Anger and bitterness which then flow out over those around her, especially me. And with those flows come accusations of selfishness, ingratitude, of heartlessness. Along with the occasional reminder that My Father was not happy about my move to Vancouver, followed by the observation that some research indicates cancer might well be caused by stress.

Triple sigh.

What I find most sorrowful is that this is an extension of a lifelong behaviour pattern, one that I have begun to see as born of affliction, rather than malevolence. My Mother has indeed had her share of suffering. She grew up in Poland during the Second World War, then exchanged life under Nazi occupation for one under a Communist regime. She had an unhappy first marriage. She lost her mother very suddenly to a heart attack. Her (second) Husband, My Father, was gravely ill soon after I came along. And she has never, ever gotten over any of these events. Indeed, she seems not to have been able to even try. Instead, out of them she has forged grudges, lifelong ones, and she holds each one close. Carrying their weight has made her tired and bitter. Her Husband's death is one more to add to the load.

Her Husband. HER Husband.

Ever since his death, she has never once asked me how I feel about having lost My Father. I don't know what I would answer, but I would be ever so grateful if she just asked.

And so I am off on this journey, feeling uncertain, ungrounded, and somewhat fearful. Wanting to be compassionate, while fearful of being cruel and arrogant, both to others and myself. But I will try to remember to be receptive to whatever the moment tries to teach me, and to open up, not shut down, during the difficult bits.

A few of you I will see in London as I pass through on my way to and fro. And I am greatly looking forward to that. I will see the rest of you upon my return in ten days or so.

Oysterband - Polish Plain (buy here or e-here)
The Church - The Unguarded Moment (buy here)
Nick Drake - Time of No Reply (buy here)

You Choke My Days, I'll Choke Yours

Photo by Anton Corbijn, taken from here

I have a tendency every once in awhile to channel surf in the wee hours. Usually this activity ends up in frustration, after fruitless hours or so spent cycling through yawnsome home reno programs, unpleasant crime dramas, World War Two pornography, and the news in Tagalog. Sometimes I get lucky and hit a double bill of Dog the Bounty Hunter. I like Dog. And his pneumatic wife, Beth.

The other week, however, I serendipitously bumped into a screening of Tom Waits's Big Time, an marvellously peculiar and shambolic assembly of concert footage and theatrical scenes from his play, Franks Wild Years. It was even better than Dog.

At one point during the film Waits introduces a song with an anecdote about bad days. As I listened to his smoke-and-gravel delivery, I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and had one of those rare moments of glorious clarity where you know that you're staring truth in the eye. So here, let me share his story with you:

"This is about all the bad days in the world. I used to have some really bad days. And I kept them in a little box. And one day I threw them out into the yard. Oh, it's just a couple of innocent bad days. Well, we had a big rain... I don't know what it was growing in, but I think we used to put egg shells out there and coffee grounds too.

Don't plant your bad days! They grow into weeks, the weeks grow into months, and before you know it you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me: CHOKE those little bad days! CHOKE 'em down to nothing! There are your days, CHOKE 'em! You choke my days, I'll choke yours!"

So, Dearest Friends, do we have a deal??

Tom Waits - Telephone Call From Istanbul (buy here)
Actually, the anecdote was an introduction to More Than Rain, but this song off of the same album sits deep in my heart. Not only does it contain the immortal advice "Never trust a man in a blue trench coat / Never drive a car when you're dead," but Dearest Wife and I danced our second dance of our wedding reception to it. And to help choke your bad days, I will dance to it for you, in a sort of slow, shuffling, hip-swaying, bum-shaking, arm-flapping stylee.

Yank My Chain

This week Contrast Podcast contributors continue to forge the song chain that Tim started just over a month ago. Like last time, there's some wonderfully twisted logic links to delight in, and you can do by downloading the cast directly here, or by subscribing to this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Go on folks, yank my chain. And lest the graphic give you the wrong idea, I'll take an old skool loo ANYDAY over those anodyne, feeble, lever flush johns!!

(00:31) The Weakerthans - The prescience of dawn
Jamie from The Run Out Groove
(05:28) MeTzo - Am I a voyeur?
Deek from Pod of Funk
(10:36) Stars - Your ex-lover is dead
Jim from Quick before it melts
(15:57) The Smiths - The Queen is dead
Justin from Aquarium Drunkard
(22:31) Huey ‘Piano’ Smith & The Clowns - Don’t you just know it
Mike from Nothing but green lights
(25:25) The Violent Femmes - Never tell
Spoodles from Robot hand is the future
(32:51) The Raveonettes - Love in a trashcan
Rick from Are you embarrassed easily?
(36:23) Infernal - From Paris to Berlin
Fraser from BKYLN song of the day
(40:38) Guns n’ Roses - Sweet Child o’ Mine
Andy & James from Circles of Concrete
(46:51) The Fall - Spoilt Victorian Child
Colin from And before the first kiss
(51:55) Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band - Autumn child
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(56:36) Sufjan Stevens - Sister Winter
Natalie from Mini-Obs

Tune in next week for another episode of musicians presenting their own songs. Tim has tipped me off that it's gonna be a particularly good one...

Since the previous iteration of the CP song chain, I've managed to track down a song that had been awakened from a loooong slumber in my memory. Back in 1988, the Jamaican-born, Brooklyn-bred rap-reggae artist Shinehead released his second album, Unity. At the time I was doing the college radio thaaang ("WGTB - Rocks Like A Mother") and track two of the LP, "Chain Gang Rap," quickly wormed its way into practically every DJ's brain, regardless of their musical inclinations. The song is a charmingly naive, affectionate ode to the New York subway system fashioned over the old Same Cooke clasic, "Chain Gang." Dang, almost makes me feel nostalgic for riding the F train home from school - the sweat, the smells, the intergalactic busker who threatened to keep playing his sax unless he was given enough money to buy a replacement part for his flying saucer...

Shinehead - Chain Gang Rap (buy here)
Sam Cooke - Chain Gang (buy here)

He's A Whore

Yes, Dearest Friends, that is me you see to the left, whoring myself unashamedly. I have become a brazen strumpet, standing on the corner of Independence Avenue and Groovy Musique Street, offering myself up to all who will pay.

But it is for a good cause. Scratch that, it is for (as they say frequently here in North America) an awesome cause. You see, the most excellent DJ Colleen Crumbcake, curatrix of the wonderful Sandy Acres Sound Lab on East Village Radio, needs to raise sufficient funds by month-end to keep her weekly show on the air/ether. With only a couple of days to go, she is finding herself short, so I'm asking you, Dearest Friends, to help out if you can.

Why should you contribute? Here, let me spell it out for you (after I readjust my g-string... just a bit more... ahhh, that's better):

REASON #1: East Village Radio is a free, independent internet radio station that offers up a bubbling jambalaya of diverse music, culture, and commentary. Its funding comes from sponsorships raised by its motivated, committed DJs. Your contribution, Tender Comrades, will strike a blow for indie radio and against bland, corporate samey-sameyness.

REASON #2: Though EVR is physically located in Noo Yawk Siddy, you can listen regardless of where and in which timezone you are. EVR broacasts live via a streaming feed, but you can also download individual show podcasts for delectation at your leisure. Listen in the bath! While doing the ironing! On the bus! In your yurt on the Mongolian plain! The possibilities are endless!!

REASON #3: Chere Mademoiselle la DJ Colleen Crumbcake spins the most exquisite combination of tuneage that you're likely to hear anywhere. From the varied yarns of Hot Chip, Buzzcocks, France Gall, Prince, Stereolab, Lady Sovereign, and Roxy Music, she can effortlessly knit the grooviest of musical cardigans. I tell ya, she's worth every single penny.

REASON #4: Colleen's got a lorra, lorra nifty swag to give away. A contribution of $35 will get you a brilliant CD mixed by her own fair hand, while $100 will get you said disc AND a special goodie (CD or merchandise) donated by Mint records (or one of their brethren). On top of all this, whoever donates the most money to the cause will get all of the above PLUS an original painting by Brooklyn artist Steve Keene (see his work here).

So there you have it folks, I hope at least some of you are moved to support this worthiest of causes. If you are, you can do so RIGHT NOW via Paypal by clicking RIGHT HERE. Every little bit helps!!

And please hurry up - these goddamn heels are killing me...

Big Black - He's A Whore (buy here)
Joy Division - Transmission (buy here)
Comsat Angels - Independence Day (buy here)
Elbow - Independent Woman (not sure where you can buy, but look at the kitties here)
The Flying Lizards - Money [That's What I Want] (buy here)
The Ramones - Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio? (buy here)
The Clash - Radio Clash (buy here)
The Selecter - On My Radio (buy here)
Stereo Total - Ma Radio (buy here or e-here)

Now We Are One

Birthday cake baked here

This week Contrast Podcast has invited us all to help celebrate its first birthday. Yes, it has been fifty-two weeks since the wonderful Tim Young gave birth to his bouncing baby, and look how it's grown under his careful parentage! As one of CP's contributing uncles, can I just say how proud I am of the little nipper.

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday, Dearest Contrast Podcast!! Right, now on to the jelly and ice cream and cake and prezzies. And the music. We're gonna have a party, all night long. You can join the fun here, or sign up to this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.

So what are we waiting for? Let's let it rip with Billy Bragg, Tom Waits, The Cucumbers, and, er, the luscious Cherry Sorbet!!!!

Playlist:
(00:00) Sky Larkin - Young lungs
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:11) Ariane - Ice cream
FiL from Pogoagogo
(07:13) The Go Betweens - Born to a family
Mark from Cinema du Lyon
(10:35) Bud Melvin - 1+1=1+1
Cindy from Adzuki bean stash
(16:25) Tom Waits - Table Top Joe
Lyle from Mentok the Mindtaker
(21:46) C.K.Stead - Birthday sonnet
John from You must be from away
(23:32) My Life Story - Birthday suit
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(27:53) The Cucumbers - My birthday
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(31:19) The Replacements - Birthday gal
Tom from Other people’s toys
(35:44) Blood Music - It’s a party
Ross from Just gimme indie rock
(40:23) Atom & His Package - Happy Birthday Ralph
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(42:47) Billy Bragg & Wilco - I was born
Crash from Pretending life is like a song


I did indeed consider a few other musical presents for Contrast Podcast's b'day, but I also thought a spell about all the lovely gifts that CP has given me - new songs, reintroductions to old songs, and introductions to some really wonderful people. Real people, not virtual ones. So thank you, Dearest Tim, and thank you, Dearest Contrast Podcasters. Each and every one of you.

Here, let me share some of my favourite gifts from the past year:

Teddybears Sthlm - Hey Boy (buy here)
Thanks, SAS !

Bratmobile - Where Eagles Dare (buy here or e-here)
Thanks, Bob !

The Field Mice - Song Six (buy here )
Thanks, Dearest Colin !

Victor Scott - Mareel (buy e-here)
Thanks, Victor !

Next week, the Songchain continues to be forged. I can hear the clink-clink-clink of hammer on anvil as the links are shaped. What fun!!!

Go Fish

The view outside

It has been raining for days and days and days. Occasionally as a fine mist, sometimes as a torrential cascade, mostly as dull, mundane showers. It has become rather wearing. We walk around looking like soaked prunes, our skin all wrinkled by the ubiquitous moisture. I'm developing webs between my fingers, and I think I'm seeing gills starting to sprout on the kids.

On Tuesday, however, the rain eased up for few hours. I seized the opportunity afforded and ventured outside the office for lunch. I had intended to head over to Granville Island, but I could tell that the steely clouds watching were considering whether or not to douse me. So instead I diverted to the nearby Go Fish.

Dearest Friends, Go Fish is a treat. Its modest accommodation, in a neat but small shack down by False Creek Fishermen's Wharf, belies the scrummy seafood it serves up. Truth be told, I try and avoid going there on all but the rarest of occasons. You see, I have eaten in many a fine chippie, so I feel quaified to say that, fins down, they serve up the most delish fish 'n' chips in the northern hemishere*; huge roof tiles of heavenly halibut in perfect, crisp, golden, beer batter with just-right thumbs of potato. So for the sake of my arteries and waistline, I deny myself.

So on Tuesday, lured by the shack's siren call, I forewent the halibut and plumped instead for an oyster po' boy. Three enormous, juicy, fresh oysters grilled simply and served upon a superb, ciabatta-esque bun with salsa and onions. Oh, look, someone's posted a piccie of one here. After a sort spell gazing out at the trawlers at dock, my name was called and the sarnie was wrapped up in newspaper (Yes! It's true! How glorious!!) by a lovely tattooed woman. I hustled the scrumptious package back to my desk, just beating the clouds as they decided to open up again.

It's been raining pretty much ever since.

*I've not sampled any Antipodean examples, hence my geographic restriction. Second place goes to Bryan's in Headingly, and third to the chippie in Bradwell, where on Friday evening you'l wait the better part of an hour wating as the entire village drops by to pick up supper.

The King Khan & BBQ Show - Fish Fight (buy here or e-here)
Thowing Muses - Fish (buy here or e-here)
Dressy Bessy - Who'd Stop The Rain (buy here )

Doing It For Tha Kidz

Riot Grrl
Darling Daughter, 2004

Perhaps in some sort of attempt to redress the karmic balance thrown so out of whack by the X-Rated episode, Contrast Podcast this week has gone all child-friendly this week. On offer is a magic kingdom of tunes, suitable for kids of all ages. So put on your beanie hats, scootch up on the playrug, and either download the podcast here or subscribe using this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Come raid the toychest:
(00:00) Kidditunes - Twistin’ again
Tim from The Face of Today
(02:04) Medeski, Martin & Wood - Where’s the music?
The Duke of Straw from The Late Greats
(05:55) The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi battles the pink robots (part one)
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(10:52) The Dickies - Theme to Gigantor
Lyle from Mentok the Mindtaker
(13:41) Misty’s Big Adventure - Biscuit Tin
Shawn from Cold Citrus
(15:43) The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime in Clerkenwell
FiL from Pogoagogo
(20:27) John Lithgow - You gotta have skin
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(23:11) Captain Bogg & Salty - Scurvy
Rick from Are you embarrassed easily?
(26:19) Blind Melon - Three is the magic number
Chris from Culturebully
(29:38) Harry Belafonte & Odetta - There’s a hole in my bucket
Deek from Pod of Funk
(34:36) Dan Zanes & John Doe - So long (It’s been good to know yuh)
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(39:14) The Go Team - Hold your terror close
Mike from Nothing but green lights
(41:34) The Innocence Mission - Moon River
Chad from Everybody cares, everybody understands
(44:37) Rasputina - This little piggy
Nuno from Undercover songs
(48:30) Boris Pickett & The Crypt Kickers - Monster mash
Mark from Cinema du Lyon
(52:04) Papa Noel - Democratie
SAS Radio
(59:16) Tom Waits - The train song
Fraser from BKYLN song of the day

I'm a lucky, lucky Daddy. You see, my Darling Daughter and Little Man (7 and 4, respectively) grew up with their Pa singing not "Mary Had A Little Lamb" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker" and "A New England." And they seem to have taken very happily to it all. Yes, they get their fix of Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine, and Wiggles muzak while they rot their brains in front of the TV. But it's The Real Tuesday Weld, Camera Obscura, and The Ramones (the latter favoured more by Little Man) that they ask for when riding in the car...

So, what else did I consider submitting this week? Well, Camera Obscura was up there, but I've rabbited on about their wonderfulness enough for the time being, methinks. And I wouldn't inflict The Wiggles on you, so rest easy...

Pianosaurus - Bubble Gum Music (buy here)
This whimsical trio released only one album of sweet indie rock played entirely on toy instruments. Drummer Steve Dansiger went on to play grown-up skins for a spell wth King Missile. Entirely G-rated, without being emetic.

Haysi Fantayzee - Shiny Shiny (buy here)
The first time I popped this on the stere-ere-ereo, the bairns launched into a manic interpretive dance. I proceeded to replay the song five more times, and they danced like wee goblins five more times. And let's not forget that the album this comes from is Battle Hymns for Children Singing.

The Ramones - I Don't Want To Grow Up (buy here)
A fine, fine cover of the Tom Waits oiginal. Had to get me some Ramones, if only for Little Man's sake. And as I type I'm watching Waits's superbly oddball concert film, Big Time, which I stumbled on accidentaly while channel surfing. So you can see why this all makes such perfect sense.

EDIT: Per Dearest, Dearest Brad's request, here's the astoundingly fab (and minorly creepy) video for "Bathtime in Clerkenwell." Beware the cukoos...

Computer Love

Dearest Friends, I'm so happy! What a story I have for you! But it's not really mine to tell. And you may already have heard about it over at Dearest Vinyl Villain's. So if you have, hold on to that warm, fuzzy feeling and feel free to skip on down to the celebratory tunes below.

So, that story. It's about e-boy meets e-girl in Blogtopia, then real boy meets real girl, in Utopia. Only with the Isle of Man standing in as proxy for Utopia. It's got everything: tea, twee, goth, and, erm, (sea) froth. And if it doesn't warm at least one of the cockles of your heart, then I weep for you.

So open yourself to joy. Then read about it here and here, and afterwards go here and listen starting at 03:04. Finally, pour yourself a bevvy of your choice and toast e-boy & e-girl while listening to these:

The Virgin Prunes - Pagan Love Song (buy here or e-here)
Thee Headcoatees - Ca Plane Pour Moi (buy here or e-here)
The Celibate Rifles - Let's Get Married (buy here or e-here)
Laurel Aitken - Rudi Got Married (buy here or e-here)
The King Khan & BBQ Show - Love You So (buy here or e-here)
The Cramps - Thee Most Exalted Potentate of Love (buy here or e-here)
Heavenly - I Fell In Love Last Night (buy here or e-here)
Pia Fraus -The End Of Time And Space Like We Used To Know It Is After You Have Finished Your Tea Approximately At 5:07 pm (buy here or e-here)
David Bowie - Modern Love (buy here or e-here)
Kraftwerk - Computer Love (buy here or e-here)

Cover Me, I'm Going In

Ah, this week's Contrast Podcast is going to be a real treat, I can feel it in my bones. After months of cajoling by her admirers, Liz from The Roaring Machine has joined the CP posse with a cracking theme. The challenge she set was to come up with a cover version that outshines the original song it treats, and our contributors have risen to the task in splendid fashion. I have a story to tell you about my choice, so let me husband my words: download the 'cast here, or plug in via this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast. Oh, and listen for the astoundingly special announcement in one of the intros (not mine). Need further enticement? How about The Wedding Present, The Slits, Linda Ronstadt, Magazine? You like?? Well, they're all featured.

This week was a bit of a toughie; I've got plenty of ace cover versions, but picking ones better than the originals was a true challenge. "Just Like Heaven?" Fantastic song by The Cure, equally groovy, if totally different, cover by Dinosaur Jr. "Running Up That Hill?" A lovely cover by Placebo. "Hounds of Love?" The Futureheads storm it comprehensively. But my heart will not allow either to be actually better than the originals by my Dearest Kate Bush.

In the end, it was Shonen Knife's "Ramones-Meets-An-Andrew-Sister-In-A-Tokyo-Dive" version of the Carpenters' soppingly drippy "Top Of The World" that I chose. There were other equally worthy candidates, I'll admit. But this one had the force of memories on its side. And here's why:

Rewind the clock almost six years and you'll find FiL and his Dearest Wife on board the spartanly tacky MS Queen, somewhere between Fuling and Chongqing on the Yangtze River. We had seized the In-Laws' offer of child care for 18-month-old Darling Daughter and were exhilarated to be navigating the Three Gorges. We sailed past soaring, sheer cliffs clinging to which we could plainly see the coffins suspended on high by the Ba people some 2,500 years eariler. We gasped at the impossible peaks. We marvelled at the sprawling industrial plants that punctuated the shoreline at regular intervals. We explored Fengdu, the mountainside city of ghosts whose temples were a representation of Hell. And we did all this with the dreadful knowledge that in two years time most of what we were seeing would be gone, submerged by the rising Yangtze waters, dammed in the name of progress by the Three Gorges project.

Nocturnal entertainment on board the MS Queen was limited. So it was with great interest that Dearest Wife and I, along with Geordie Retirees Enid and George, went along one evening after dinner to watch the karaoke competition. Of the 175 passengers on board, the vast majority were from Taiwan and Hong Kong, and it soon became clear that the event was geared towards them. There were many attempts at Canto-pop crooning, and one intrepid lad even sang an acapella ode to the Yangtze that he had written just that very afternoon. At least that's what Hsiao Lung ("Little Dragon"), the closet-door-sightly-ajar gay waiter who had taken an instant shine to me upon boarding, told us it was.

After several Chongqing beers, George asked whether we should ask to give it a whirl. I was game; though I couldn't (and cannot) sing for toffee, I was intrigued by the cross-cultural possibilities. So Jackie (for that was the Anglicized name Hsiao Lung wished us to call him) brought to us the skimpy list of English songs available. George quickly chose "You Were Always On My Mind." I was having real trouble picking - no Ramones, no BilyBragg, no Pistols. Sigh. Then my eyes alighted upon "Top of the World," and I recalled not The Carpenters, but Shonen Knife. I had found my song.

So up I went on stage, and all eyes fixed on the gweilo. Well, apart from those of Dearest Wife, who was already cringing wth anticipated embarrassment. The music started, and I gave it real welly. In my mind I was covering the cover, but in reality I was cawing, croaking, prancing and hamming it up something fierce. Three minutes and a smattering of politely enthusiastic applause later, it was over. "I can't believe you did that," said Wife as I regained my seat.

When it came time for the awards, we were stunned to see George get first prize. But it was well deserved; his rendition of the Willie Nelson classic had revealed a first-rate crooner. Second prize went to the lad with he ode. Third prize went to one of the Canto-poppers. Then there was the joint third-place winner: Mr FiL. Whaaaat?? My gob was well and truly smacked. Had Jackie pulled strings for his unrequited crush? Was my barefaced cheek being rewarded? I don't know, but I do know that that night I was the joint-third-best karaoke singer on the Yangtze River. And look here, I have the bit of paper to prove it (name changed to throw off you stalkers). I owned that night.

We all celebrated in style. George and I drank loads more Chongqing and ended up, accompanied by Dearest Wife and Enid, on stage some time later with our arms around a bunch of fat Hong Kong men and their spouses singing karaoke to Michael Jackson's "We Are The World." My cross-cultural possibilities had become reality.

So there you have it. But what else did I consider?

Babes In Toyland - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here)
Like the Shonen Knife tune, this is another track off the If I Were A Carpenter, erm, tribute album. This one came close. So close. In fact, I think it's only the Yangtze karaoke angle that put Shonen Knife over the edge. Kat Bjelland & co. cover one of the kookiest 70s songs ever recorded. And given how kooky that decade was, that's really saying something.

The Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here)
OK, I couldn't resist: you really must hear the this, especially for the faux DJ intro and proto-Cher vocoder effects. FACT: There are 160 musicians lurking about this recording. And to forestall the tunespotters out there, this is actually the original cover, as the song was first done by Canadian prog-rockers (it ain't all Rush around here, folks) Klaatu. Oh, alright, here you go, just stop whining:

Klaatu - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here or e-here)
Klaatu barada nikto! Please, Interstellar Policeman, charge them with crimes against taste, lock them up in a polychromatic prison, and throw away the key.

The Muffs - Kids In America (buy here or e-here)
Must...flee...Carpenters. Ah, that's better. Now don't get me wrong, I was partial to the synthy "dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum" of the original. And that 80s siren Kim Wilde had my hormones raging summat fierce. But in retrospect she was only a nice, middle-class, Home Counties girl singing about stuff she knew nothing of. But as for The Muffs, well, they're the real deal.

Animal & Rank Sinatra - Ebony and Ivory (buy here)
Oh, this one came so, so close as well. Animal & Rank chew up this floppy, insipid tune with their steely teeth, gargle the resulting sludge, then spew it back forth for your listening enjoyment. The grandest of Grand Guignol.

For next week, Tim is soliciting Cool Choons for Children. So round up your kid-friendly songs and fire them off! If you need instructions, have a gander here.

Tell Me Why

Questions... Always questions...

This week Contrast Podcast poses the query: Why? And the answers, though fewer than for past questions, are wonderfully diverse. As usual, feel free to download the podcast directly via this link, or else plonk the following RSS feed into whatever nifty blog subscription thingy you use: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

(00:00) They Might Be Giants - Why does the sun shine?
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:16) The Wedding Present - Why are you being so reasonable now?
Cinema du Lyon
(06:13) Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers - Why do fools fall in love?
FiL from Pogoagogo
(09:16) Neil Young - Tell me why
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(13:19) The Weather Prophets - Why does the rain?
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(17:19) Woody Guthrie - Why oh why?
Kate from The Glorious Hum
(20:58) The Offspring - Why don’t you get a job?
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(24:36) Billy Joel - Why should I worry?
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(28:19) The Pipettes - Why did you stay? (acoustic)
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(30:12) All Night Workers - Why don’t you smile?
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(32:50) The Beatles - Why don’t we do it in the road?
Waffles from Waffles Radio

Next week sees the debut of the lovely Liz and her well-oiled Roaring Machine on CP. Her proposed theme is guaranteed, I tell ya, to generate a most interesting podcast. So folks, dust off those cover versions that, in your esteemed opinions, are better than the original songs, whack them in an e-mail together with a recorded intro, and fire them off to Tim. You want more guidance? Well then, here you go.

Why Frankie Lymon seized my fancy so, I know not; doo-wop 'n' roll is not my preferred idiom. But when my ears and eyes alighted upon that ditty, I just knew it had to be. Anyway, as usual, I'd like to share with you those tunes that I also considered for submission this week:

The Fall - Why Are People Grudgeful? (buy here or e-here)
Even though you can never have too much Mark E. Smith, this was dismissed out of hand as he & the gang had only just put in a Contrast Podcast appearance the previous week.

Garbage - Why Do You Love Me? (buy here)
Oh Shirley, surely you don't need to ask...?

The Mooney Suzuki - Tell Me Why (buy here or e-here)
Hmm, dunno, I quite like this, but I kinda wish it was, y'know, greasier & grungier. And I'm also not so keen on the band's subsequent corporate tie-ins. But given that Buzzcocks are also selling cars, maybe I'm being a bit of a hypocrite. Argh, I've tied myself up in an FiLosophical knot.

Voices of Darmstadt

Someone had somehow wangled an invitation to a massive, all-night party at the Johann Wolfgang Goethe University of Frankfurt. As a result we were all drunk. Pished as the proverbial newts. So it made perfect sense, on that Saturday almost exactly twelve years ago, to pile into a photo booth as we waited at 4:30 AM on the platform at Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof for the first train of the day to take us back to Darmstadt. The carriages pulled up on time (of course), and we poured ourselves through the slam-door and into a compartment, snorting and guffawing and shrieking. Probably singing as well, but my memory is hazy.

Thirty minutes or perhaps an hour later we clanked into our station and I opened the door latch and clambered out. I recall thinking the step down was rather far, but it wasn't until all for of us had exited that we realized we had gotten off on the wrong side. We were not on the platform, but on the gravel bed between two sets of railroad tracks. Hooting with laughter, we climbed back through the wagon, rolled out the station, and made our grand entrance into the lobby of the Maritim Rhein-main Hotel. We collapsed on sofas, waiting for the breakfast buffet to open at 6:00 AM while being ignored by the fastidiously unifomed commercial flight crews gathering to be bussed to Frankfurt Airport. We subsequently fed, then slumbered.

Darmstadt...

To this day I do not understand why The Bank decided to fly its management trainees from London for a three-week incarceration at a faceless business hotel in a pokey satellite of Frankfurt. But imprisoned we were, and force-fed both German food (I remember begging the restaurant staff at the start of Week Two for a salad that swam not in a sea of cream dressing) and teachings on corporate finance. Our Overseer was an embittered, dipsomaniac, veteran banker of questionable mental stability. The lecturers, mostly flown in from London as well (go figure) were largely uninspiring; indeed, the one I recall best was a pompous little shit who looked uncannily like Leo Sayer with owl-eye spectacles.

To tell you the truth, I cannot recall one single thing of what I was supposed to learn during those twenty-one days. Not a sausage. Or wurst. What I do remember vividly are the handful of occasions -and there were only three or so- when we left the hotel and ran riot, simply to feel free.

For most of my comrades, I wager these few bacchanalia were simply a chance to let off steam, to take a break from forging their young careers. Of those in the photo above, three have moved on to positions of note within the financial world; a Managing Director in charge of Structured Credit, a Head of Client Relationship Management, a Vice-President Product Manager.

But look at the bloke on the left. Yes, that's me, your FiL. For me those drunken rushes were when the doubt that mildly nagged me during lectures on capital gains tax and bond duration turned into a raging voice that screamed:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?? THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE!!!

It took me another decade before I could screw up the courage to start listening to that voice. And I'm still figuring out what else it's trying to tell me.

The Offspring - Self Esteem(buy here)
There was a soundtrack to Darmstadt, provided by MTV Deutschland. And this song became a personal anthem.

Rednex - Cotton-Eye Joe(buy here, but get out of my shower if you do)
What MTV gaveth with one hand, with the other it tooketh away. This Swedish brain-drilling drivel would, without fail, always come on while I was having my morning shower and thus unable to reach the set.

Lassie Singers - Es Ist So Schade (buy here)
Maybe to apologize for repeated lashings of The Rednex, MTV Deutschland also offered me this wee gem: a hooky, catchy bit of breezy pop with the bitchiest lyrics you could ever hope to hear. Translated from the German, they go something like this: "It's such a shame / That you are how you are / That, unfortunately, you aren't someone else / That, unfortunately, you are just yourself."

Popchor Berlin - 4 My People (buy here or e-here)
I only recently discovered that Lassie Singer Almut Klotz later went on to form the outstanding collective, Popchor Berlin. Thrill as these Teutonic choristers take Missy Elliott to places she never thought she'd go.

Back On The Chain Gang

Can you hear the clanking? That's the sound of this week's Contrast Podcast contributors, working on the song-chain gang. And I'm most honoured to have done a stint as one of the rock-splitters.

It works like this: our ringleader, Tim, picks a song to start with, then passes the title on to the next person, who in turn picks another song that is related in some way, shape, or form to the original choice. That person's song then gets passed on to the next contributor, who chooses another tune related to the previous one. The process then repeats until Tim has himself a full podcast.

Understand? Yes? No? Either way, you can download the podcast here, or use the following RSS feed to subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Let's swing on the song chain:

(00:00) The Turtles - Happy Together
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:26) The Beastie Boys - Sure Shot
Matt from Earfarm
(07:10) Sister Machine Gun - Smash your radio
GD from Bitesize Bonus
(10:37) The Damned - Smash it up (part 2)
Sid from Too Much Rock
(13:46) The Upsetters - Party time (part 2)
The Duke of Straw from The Late Greats
(18:40) Puff Daddy & The Family - Victory
Taylor from T-sides
(23:54) Cut Chemist - Spinning Wheel
Murf from False45th
(29:22) Schrodinger’s Cat - Spin
Cindy from Adzuki Bean Stash
(33:03) Denovo - Digging in the dirt
Chip from Donewaiting
(39:48) Madness - Baggy Trousers
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(42:46) Pop Will Eat Itself - There’s a psychopath in my soup
FiL from Pogoagogo
(44:26) The Fall - There’s a ghost in my house
Simon from You Can Call Me Betty
(47:28) The Smithereens - House we used to live in
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(52:14) Jimi Hendrix - House of the rising sun
Waffles from Waffles Radio

There will be more chains in the future, and if you want to be a link in one, do let Tim know. Next week's podcast will ask 'Why?' So if you have a sng with that interrogative in its title, fire it off, along with a suitable intro. Have a peek here to understand how it all works.

I was asked to work off of Crash Calloway's selection, 'BaggyTrousers' by Madness. Before settling on the Psychopath /Madness link I considered a few other contenders, almost all of which were on the insanity tip. Hmm...

Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train (buy here)

Prince Buster - Madness (buy here)

Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy (buy here)

I did also fleetingly think of focusing on the 'baggy' bit, but I wasn't sure whether the world was ready for a Northside revival...

Northside - Take 5 (buy here or e-here)

And finally, coz I couldn't leave y'all hanging like that:

Pretenders - Back on the Chain Gang (buy here)

Sleep & Serendipity

Our boudoir. No, really...

Dear Readers, I'm pleased to say that this weekend yielded up a fair amount of that most precious commodity, sleep. Saturday was a bit go-go a go-go, partly due to the rather worrying discovery that the wooden frame underlying a marble-faced step down into our dining room was completely, mysteriously water-logged and rotting. Cue crowbar and hatchet.

But on Sunday morning, mirabilis dictu, the children were kind enough to let Dearest Wife and me have a lovely, snuggly lie-in. No alarm clocks, no appointments, just a comfy, warm duvet, us two snoozers, and (of course) Ginadawg under the covers at the foot of the bed, honking and snoring gently. Pure bliss.

The Damned - Love Song (buy here)
Just for you, Dearest Wife, here's a love song

And now for something completely different: let's hear it for serendipity. As I was driving home from work, I plugged in the empeethree playah only to find it had been playing in loop all day since I'd forgotten to turn it off in the morning. To my delight, what issued forth was a mgnificent set from a past podcast of the wonderful Colleen Crumbcake's Sandy Acres Soundlab on East Village Radio. The music kicked in at the tail end of 'Delicious Demon' by The Sugarcubes, then took us straght through to 'Legal Man' by B&S via the delights of The Ramones, Buzzcocks, Metric, Stereo Total, The Muffs, and The Style Council. I tell you, it was what the youngsters would call 'dope.' Indeed, I couldn't resist belting out "Lights go out, WAAWLS come tumblin' down" as the Pigmobile squealed along, all being right with the world...

If you don't listen to Dearest Colleen, then you are missing out on a weekly chunk of funkyshine. Go here, download the latest show, and your soul will be complete. In the meantime, here is a poor facsimile of what floated my boat:

Stereo Total - Holiday Innn (buy here or e-here)
Metric - Combat Baby (buy here)
Belle & Sebastian - Legal Man (buy here or e-here)

On The Wires Of My Nerves

What is going on?

I'm hurtling through this week, brain afire with the snap-snap-snap of electrified neurons. By sight I've found myself able to feel texture as well as see hue and shape. I was fascinated this afternoon by the irregular, bright green wrinkles of a kale leaf at Granvile Island market. Yesterday my breath was taken away by the luscious nap and sweeping line of a crimson velvet coat that I saw getting out of a car as I drove home from work.

Ideas have been frothing forth like the rich, foamy head on a pint of ale. Some are relatively wholly formed, others are fragments that I feel I need to somehow collect and store in some sort of mental sack. But they are coming so thick and fast that it's difficult to catch them all.

On top of it all, I'm swinging between giddy euphoria and crabbed irritability. This morning I gave an under-trained clerk at the Kingston-upon-Thames branch of Bradford & Bingley a severe tongue lashing by long-distance phone for her employer's utter incompetence. Later on, I was marvelling at kale.

It's probably a combination of averaging four hours of sleep per night, an aforementioned go-go-go time at work, and the floods of caffeine and adrenaline deployed to support it all. Yes, that's the most likely explanation. Just shut up, FiL, and go to bed. Leave the nice people alone.

But perhaps somebody slipped me a tab somewhere.

Or maybe it's something else altogether.

Cabaret Voltaire - Sensoria (buy here)
Shamen - Hyperreal Orbit (buy here)
Add N To X - On The Wires Of Our Nerves (buy here)

Alternate Reality

Dearest Friends, I have managed to escape! Yes, through subterfuge and guile I managed to flee the clutches of Alternate FiL and his easy listening ways. First I stunned him with a blast of Ministry then, while he was clutching his Neil Sedakas, I pulled his polo shirt over his head, and scarpered.**

Ministry - Burning Inside (buy here)

Don't know what I'm talking about? Then have a listen to this week's Contrast Podcast, which presents a parallell universe populated by alternate versions of songs. You know, performed by the original artists, but in a different stylee than the original. You can download the episode here, or subscribe using the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Right, let's get ready to skew our ears:

(00:41) Nada Surf - Concrete bed
Richard from Invisible Limb
(03:07) The Young Knives - Coastguard
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(07:35) Guillemots - Trains to Brazil
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(11:38) New Order - The beach
Jarrod from Living in fear is no good to anyone
(18:57) The Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(25:16) Blind Melon - No rain
Chip from Donewaiting
(28:01) The Chameleons - Bobby Moore’s wine
Colin from And before the first kiss
(32:07) Mae - This is the last time
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(35:59) Incubus - Drive
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(40:13) Holly Cole Trio - Tango ’til they’re sore
Rick from Are you embarrassed easily?
(45:36) Counting Crows - Have you seen me lately
Dan Beahm from Dan Beahm & The Invisible Three
(49:58) The Sugarcubes - Hot meat
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(53:56) Nick Cave & Blixa Bargeld - Where the wild roses grow
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(58:25) Suede - My insatiable one
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:37) Ted Hawkins - Happy hour
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

I was originally going to submit the Sugarcubes's Icelandic version of "Birthday," but I deferred to Tom's "Hot Meat" (ooer missus, fnarr fnarr). But also in contention was the following alternate "Clay" version of Nine Inch Nails's "Head Like A Hole." It's also highly appropriate in light of my current sleep-deprived state...

NIN - Head Like A Hole (Clay Version) (buy here)

** That's one explanation for my scarcity this week. The alternate one blames it on a very hectic, tiring work week spent tooling around the Lower Mainland from meeting to meeting, making a presentation that I really did not feel prepared to make, and talking business over three very delicious dinners here, here, and here. I don't know which version is real - you decide what to believe. I'm off to bed...

Soft, Soft, Loud

Camera Obscura, Richards on Richards, 13 Feb 2007

Photo by The Get Up Kid

Dearest Friends, last Tuesday I popped down to Richards on Richards to see the lovely Camera Obscura on the last Canadian date of their gruelling world tour. They kicked off in the Yoo Ess of Aaay back in mid-January, and are now on their way to wend round Australia and New Zealand. After that, it's a fortnight break, then back to the UK and continental Europe for another month solid of dates.

With all that touring, it's probably no surprise that they all seemed a bit, well, tired. As in fatigued, mind you, not old or stale. Yes, yes, I know they're not the most rawkous, turn-it-up-to-eleven band at the best of times, but it did seem like they could have used a nice bath, a hot cuppa, and an early night. Sigh, I hope they are looking after themselves.

Still, despite all of that and a pretty sloppy sound system, they were charming. The set, mostly songs off of Let's Get Out Of This Country with a few gems from the back catalogue, didn't vary much from the last time they were in town some seven months ago. But it was delivered so dreamtastically that I was delighted to hear it again. When the first organ notes of "Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken" floated up towards the heavens, those wee hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And this time round, "Country Mile" wasn't spoiled by loudmouth wankers jabbering away up front.

You know, of course, that in the end my heart belongs to Dear, Dear Traceyanne. Though she dresses in schoolmarm chic and comes over all dour and wry, there is something so terribly vulnerable and confessional in her singing that it makes me want to give her a great, big hug. Sigh again.

Camera Obscura - I Love My Jean (buy here )
One of those back-catalogue gems I mentioned. But if you don't have Let's Get Out Of This Country, shame on you! Buy it now here or e-here. Otherwise else I'll get cross.

Opening for Camera Obscura was Portastatic, or rather I should say half of Portastatic, as it was only Mac on vocals and guitar, accompanied by Margaret on violin. I must say that I had theretofore not paid much attention to this band, fronted by the aforementioned Mac, ex of Superchunk. But the duo pumped out some righteous indie folkie sounds, including a fine, heartrending cover of Prefab Sprout's "When Love Breaks Down". I remembered that song as I walked the block back to my car after the show. It was a few minutes into Valentine's Day, and standing on the corner were seven hookers, awaiting business. Somehow it struck me as very, very sad.

Portastatic - You Blanks (buy here or e-here)

Dearest Friends, I have a confession to make. Much as I enjoyed the loveliness of Camera Obscura and was pleased to make Portastatic's acquaintance, I'm desperately feeling the need to rock hard and loud. Yes, I want to go to a gig and come out sweaty, with ears ringing, and possibly a bruise or two. But alas, there is nothing on the horizon that fits the bill. Sigh yet again...

But while I'm waiting, I have We Are THE PHYSICS to keep me company. I discovered these Glaswegian yoofs (does ALL the best music come from Scotland? Methinks it does.) on the gronktastic 20 Jazz Funk Greats blog (memo to self: must add to blogroll). Their single "Less Than Three" is all jerky, angular, garagey, shouty, riffy goodness that runs around your living room, scares the dog, and knocks over the lamp.

We Are THE PHYSICS - Less Than Three (buy here)
And you can see Michael, Michael, Michael, and Chris in speccy, skinny tie action right below!

From The Artists To You

Goodness, this week has squirmed out of my hands and is galloping away towards the sunset. Thursday already, and I had meant to post so much more. Sigh...

Anyway, for those of you who have not yet seen it, Contrast Podcast this week offered up another nifty episode of artists introducing their own songs. I particularly liked the Blur-esque Shakes track and Anibal Miranda's bouncy bit about skirts...

As ever, you can download the cast here, or subscribe in perpetuity using this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

So, let's turn it over to the folks wot bring you the tunes:

(01:04) racingpaperplanes - In company of ghosts
racingpaperplanes website
(05:29) The Amateurs - Things you only know if you don’t drive
The Amateurs website
The Amateurs on myspace
(09:57) Eric Metronome - Moving Water
Eric Metronome’s website
Eric Metronome on myspace
(12:44) Rain - A brief answer
Rain’s website
Rain on myspace
(16:25) Naomi Hall - Bride of the monster
Naomi Hall’s website
Naomi Hall on myspace
(20:25) Die Romantik - Narcissist’s Waltz
Die Romantik’s website
Die Romantik on myspace
(24:29) V!TAL - More than grime
V!TAL on myspace
(29:07) Anibal Miranda - Mini Saia
Anibal Miranda’s website
Anibal Miranda on myspace
(32:05) The National Pool - A01
The National Pool on myspace
(36:17) Our Little Secret - Easy
Our little secret’s website
(41:30) JBro & Cindy Adzuki - Hippo dances in the rain
Cindy Adzuki’s website
JBro Adzuki on myspace
(44:50) The Shakes - Liberty Jones
The Shakes website
The Shakes on myspace
(49:31) Dean Whitbread - Old
Dean Whitbread’s blog
(55:36) The Me Band - Loaf of bread man
The Me Band’s website
The Me Band on myspace

Next week CP turns again to the hoi polloi and asks them to contribute alternate versions of songs. So if you've got a recording of The Bay City Rollers singing "Saturday Night" in Albanian, Tim wants to hear from you. Pop on over here for directions on how to take part.

Speaking of artists and songs and Tim, our multitalented podcast emcee has produced (yet another) wee gem of his own. It's his fantastic entry for the remix competition being run by Seattle electropunk grrlz The Trucks, and I warn you it's a bit ruuude (a hangover from that X-Rated CP episode, no doubt). But it rocks, and it stonks, and I guarantee it will transport you right to Saturday night in the carpark of The Works Nighclub, Kingston-upon-Thames...

Tim Young - Titties (Largin' It Mix)

And why not check out the original while you are at it:

The Trucks - Titties (buy here)

Good luck, Tim!!

BREAKING NEWS: Merz from Mars Needs Guitars is back online, back in action, and back on track!! So do head on over for some great & groovy music.

Rip Up Your Hearts

Valentine's Day - bah, humbug!! Just a manufactured money-spinner to feed the capitalist machine between Xmas and Easter.

This year, no overpackaged chocs, no environment-degrading, worker-exploiting roses, no enforced dining out for Mr & Mrs FiL. We're staying in, having a nice but simple meal, watching a chick-flick (I Capture The Castle), and scrumming down on something sweet (not Ben & Jerry's - it just hasn't been the same since they sold out to Unilever) on the sofa.

Sod Valentine's Day. Rip up the script. If you love someone, go a step further and surprise them some other way on some random day. Pick them a bunch of daisies from beside the highway. Sing them a song. Draw them a picture. Send them an e-mail poem. Make them a bowl of soup. Go skip rocks together on your local body of water.

Just a suggestion.

P.S. I love you all!!! And here's something to prove it:

Public Image Limited - Flowers of Romance (buy here)

Blancmange - That's Love, That It Is (buy here)

Age of Chance - Kiss (bid here for old skool vinyl)

Julian Cope - The Greatness & Perfection of Love (buy here)

Hedwig & The Angry Inch - The Origin of Love (buy here or e-here)

P.P.S. You've not seen Hedwig?? Oh, you must, it's lovely. Curl up with someone/something you hold dear, watch it, and weep for all that is beautiful and painful.

P.P.P.S. Visions of Vegas coming soon...