Martini Time

Dearest Friends, this week Contrast Podcast asked us all to stop by and have a martini or twelve. It promised to be a cool, hip time, set to an excellent soundtrack including Tom Waits, Pink Martini, and Babyshambles. However, sometime during the course of the day someone came along and shut down the bar; the post has disappeared...

I'm not sure who or what is to blame. Perhaps the nefarious S.L.I.M.E. (Suppress Lascivious, Imbibulous Musical Exuberance) launched a temperance raid? Or maybe a wee bit of coding went wonky?? Whatever happened, do check back here to see when your barman Tim Young resumes happy hour.

Anyway, it was with the greatest of glee that I offered up Eyeball in my Martini by those pulchritudinous purveyors of punkabilly, The Cramps. But I did briefly consider flowing with a James Bond vibe, even though that philistine has his martinis shaken, thereby diluting the drink and smushing its flavours into a ragged mess (sidenote: George Lazenby was the best James Bond ever. Discuss.). The dapper spy was adopted in the sixties as a style icon by Jamaica's rude boys, a fact which also generated some cracking ska tunes:

Desmond Dekker - 007 (Shanty Town) (buy here)

The Selecter - James Bond (buy here)

For the record, the best martini I ever had was at The Modern in New York, where they use Tanqueray infused with cilantro (that's coriander for you Brits) and a splash of lime to delicious effect. It's a dear drink at $14 apiece, although methinks it's worth every penny. But I'm still waiting for the Contrast Podcast Lounge to reopen...

Update 29 Nov: Oh, hooray! CP is once again open, and in time for lunch as well. Do pop on over for a drink, or if you can't wait that long guzzle down the podcast here.

Black Friday

Well, today was Black Friday in the US, where an orgy of discount-induced, post-Thanksgiving spending was supposed to have propped up the shuddery American economy by propelling retailers into the black, i.e. into profit. It was also Buy Nothing Day, on which those not wedded to the cult of Mammon were supposed to abstain from purchasing.

So where did I come out? Well, I consciously didn't buy anything, apart from dinner and the five pints under whose influence I now type. Where does that put me??

The Clash - Lost in the Supermarket (buy here)
Buzzcocks - Credit (buy here or e-here)
Carcass - Exhume to Consume (buy here or e-here)

A Classic Vintage

Some years are just better than others. Fact. Certain vintages see sweet, sweet music flowing like the finest wine known to mankind, while in others what dribbles forth is thin, pissy vinegar.

This week sees our musical sommelier, Young Tim, invite us all chez Contrast Podcast to a delectable tasting of music from, about, or otherwise connected to 1986. Just to be clear, we're talking Château Lafite-Rothschild, not Black Tower. So getcher musical corkscrew out and uncork the goodness here.

The winelist:

(00:00) Billy Bragg - Honey I’m a big boy now
Tim from The face of today

(05:43) Camper Van Beethoven - Good guys and bad guys
Sid from Too Much Rock

(10:13) Les Thugs - Never get older
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away

(13:29) The Jesus and Mary Chain - A taste of Cindy
FiL from Pogoagogo

(16:48) Foot and Mouth - Seymour! (The room’s a mess)
Dirk from Sexy Loser

(21:02) The Go-betweens - Spring rain
Natalie from Mini-obs

(25:00) fIREHOSE - Brave captain
Ross from Just gimme indie rock

(29:15) Madonna - La Isla Bonita
Anna from Music I-Quiz

(34:18) The Pursuit of Happiness - I’m an adult now
Tom from Better in the Dark

(39:37) The Redskins - Keep on keeping on
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

(46:12) Paul Simon - Gumboots
James from Jamesisadork

(49:35) Kate Bush - Experiment IV
Mèden O. Zephyr from Old fridges can kill

(54:22) Joseph Arthur - There is a light …
Linda from Speed of dark

(59:36) Philip Glass - Forgetting (feat. Linda Ronstadt)
Nuno from Undercover songs

(01:07:47) The Chameleons - I’ll remember
Colin from And before the first kiss

For me, the Jesus and Mary Chain were 1986. Yes, yes, I know Psychocandy was first released in November 1985, but I it and the Bruvvers Reid were ubiquitous all the following year. Hence my pick. And I must give a special shout-out to Dearest Cindy Adzuki, her hubby Travis, and my own Dearest Wife for contributing to the intro! Y'all are simply mahvellous, dahlinks!

So, what was I imbibing in nineteen-eighty-six? Well, for most of the year I wasn't of legal drinking age (I won't get into the bizarre convolutions of drinking ages in America, where you can vote, kill for your country, and marry before you can legally enjoy a beer), but I drank in a whole lotta that musical elixir. Here are a few drams:

The Cure - Close To Me (buy here)
Released in the US that year on the Quadpus EP, but Robert Smith and the lads pervaded my entire yoof.

PiL - Rise (buy here)
I first saw PiL live in 1986 in, of all places, Radio City Music Hall. Personally I think Album was Johnny Lydon's last great musical output - caustic, bombastic, sarcastic, and anthemic all at once.

Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls (buy here)
Not life-changing, but I did love the cool synth, arch delivery, and pop sensibility of PSB.

Then there was all that lovely shtuff that ostensibly traces its roots back to that indiepop Holy Grail, the C86 cassette. And I got drunk on a lot of that stuff too, from 1986 on. Oh, I could go on and on, so let me limit myself to two examples:

The Flatmates - Shimmer (buy here)
Jingly-jangly Bristol goodness, but with a bit of buzzsaw to boot. One of the most aptly named songs I know, this just shines and sines like a butterfly's wing on a hot, summer day.

The Brilliant Corners - Meet Me On Tuesdays (off the Fruit Machine EP, but buggered if I know where to find it)
This is near to perfecton, Dearest Friends. Sparkling guitars, youthful angst, and wonderful, WONDERFUL horns! Oh, I'm dancing as I type this...

For next week, pick your gin or vodka, then start shaking and stirring as Contrast Podcast asks you to consider "The Martini." For full mixological instructions, click here.

Smiley Culture

Bah! I say it again, Dearest Friends: Bah! And humbug!!

It has been a bitty, hectic, addling few days. The sort that gnaw away at your calm and patience, leaving behind gritty fragments that you can't piece back together.

Grrrrr....

I was minded to write a rather fulminating post about any one of a number of things that raised my dander. Like cyclists who cycle at night without lights. Or local police brutality. Or climate change. Or Christmas plans.

But then I came across a sunshiny track for which I had long been looking, and it made me smile a big smile. So I have bottled the gloom, and instead I am offering up the choon in the hopes that it'll have the same effect on you.

Smiley Culture's "Police Officer" was released at the tail end of 1984, and it must have been shortly after that that the mighty 92.7 WLIR ("New Music First") picked it up, thus exposing me, a rabidly loyal teenage listener, to its infectious dancehall charms. And thanks to the magic of the interwebbythingy, I've been infected all over again.

Smiley Culture - Police Officer (try eBay)

Oh look, I found the video as well!!

Random Acts of Podcast

Why, Herr Ernst, I would love another flugelhorn...

Though I value a fundamental degree of stability, I do so love the random. Rolling the dice, waiting for the spirit to move me, sucking and seeing. So I am particularly keen to hear this week's episode of Contrast Podcast, for which participants asked their digital music players to do the empee-3 shuffle and contributed the results. Obviously the CP nation shares my fondness for music by chance, since this week it collectively yielded over 90 minutes of podcastica!!

Download the whole thang here, but if uncertainty scares you, here's what's on offer:

(01:29) Jurassic 5 - Lesson 6 : The Lecture
Chris from Phosphorus.net
(07:29) OMD - Tesla Girls
FiL from Pogoagogo
(15:17) Third Eye Blind - Narcolepsy
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(19:23) Tar … Feathers - Rumours travels fast
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(23:39) Sean Na Na - Little leaning tower
Sid from Too Much Rock
(28:21) Fiver - Keep us in stitches
Chip from Atomic Ned
(32:43) Van Morrison - Everyone
Dweller from Child without an iPod
(36:35) Boss Hog - Get it while you wait
Dirk from Sexy Loser
(41:27) U2 - Bad
James from Jamesisadork
(47:02) Sparklehorse - It’s not so hard
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(50:31) Antony & The Johnsons with Boy George - You are my sister
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(55:10) Sean Watkins - Summer’s coming
Natalie from Mini-obs
(59:24) The Stranglers - Strange little girl
Mark from Cinema du Lyon
(01:02:52) The Ramones - All the way (live)
Tom from Better in the Dark
(01:05:33) The Cat Empire - Hello
Anna from Music I-Quiz
(01:09:58) Mulatu Astatqé - Mètché Dershé
Tim from The face of today
(01:14:25) 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill
Mèden O. Zephyr from Old fridges can kill
(01:19:03) Forget Cassettes - Like tiny swords
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(01:24:21) Maps - Lost my soul
Linda from Speed of dark
(01:28:28) The Replacements - I’ll be you
Jon from Your moment of Zen
(01:32:21) Lee Scratch Perry - Chase the devil
Dean from Pod of Funk

I actually have three repositories for my digital music (laptop, desktop, and mp3 player), so I randomly selected one track from each, then engineered a blind selection from those finalists. Therefore, instead of the lovely Tesla Girls, you could have had either "So Horny" by 2Live Crew or "Seether" by Veruca Salt. But I'm not going to share them with you here - that'd be too predictable. I apologize to all of you out there who've been trawling the net for 2Live - I hope you'll overcome the crushing disappointment.

No, instead I've decided to do a wee variant on the old "Magic 8 Ball." Sitting here tonight I picked the first five random tracks off of the PC and have posted them below. And I ask you, Dearest Friends, to be my collective 8-ball and, via your pithy and insightful comments, give me guidance as to what this combination of songs is trying to tell me...

Poison Idea - Think Fast (buy here or e-here)
The Jam - Music For The Last Couple (buy here)
The Divine Comedy - In Pursuit of Happiness (buy here)
Interpol - Public Pervert (buy here)
Old Man Luedecke - Wrong Side of the Country (buy here or e-here)
Sidebar: He's supporting Feist back East! Read more about him here.

And here's some more random linky-link goodness:

The Random Masturbation Synonym Generator
Hit the button (ooer, there's one right there) and get yourself a euphemism like "pulling the Franklin" or "slap-boxing the monk." It does seem to be rather male-oriented...

The Random Band Name Generator
Tonight in concert: The Bile, with special guests Sir Spamerating, Comatose Quartet, and Your Seven Brown Eyes. Hmm, sounds like a stonking thrashcore/hip-hop/freejazz/emo bill...

The Random Kitten Generator
Makes ya wanna puke.

The Dylan Thomas Random Poem Generator
What a hoot! More fun than poking at red dragons with leeks while chewing on a chunk of laver bread. "I was forgotten mildly / By the goosefield of the skylark / Sucking lazily on the blind street / On thoughts of statues / Where girls lie savagely / And all the spellbound eyes cover and live." Indeed!

Next week, CP goes back to 1986. Pick a track accordingly, then go here to find out how to contribute.

And finally, Tim has unveiled plans for the Contrast Podcast Festive 50! Basically you need to drop him an e-mail at tim.young@rhul.ac.uk with a list of your five favourite Contrast Podcast tracks of 2007 in descending order of preference. There's even a contest involved. Oh, dash it, don't hang around here listening to me witter about it. Instead, pop on over here to see how it works. But hurry - Tim needs your input by 27 November!!

Give Us Our Peace

Give us a peace equal to the war
Or else our souls will be unsatisfied,
And we will wonder what we have fought for
And why the many died.

Give us a peace of accepting every challenge --
The challenge of the poor, the black, of all denied,
The challenge of the vast colonial world
That long has had so little justice by its side.

Give us a peace that dares us to be wise.
Give us a peace that dares us to be strong.
Give us a peace that dares us still uphold
Throughout the peace our battle against wrong.

Give us a peace that is not cheaply used,
A peace that is no clever scheme,
A people's peace for which men can enthuse,
A peace that brings reality to our dream.

Give us a peace that will produce great schools --
As the war produced great armament,
A peace that will wipe out our slums --
As war wiped out our foes on evil bent.

Give us a peace that will enlist
A mighty army serving human kind,
Not just an army geared to kill,
But trained to help the living mind.

An army trained to shape our common good
And bring about a world of brotherhood.

Langston Hughes
25 August, 1945


Marlene Dietrich - Lili Marleen (buy here)
Stars - Celebration Guns (buy here)
Kate Bush - Army Dreamers (buy here)

Yuletide Drear

I've just found out we may be getting a visitor over Christmas, and it's not Santa Claus. More like Scrooge. Or Heat Miser.

Oh dear.

Velodrome 2000 - Christmas Sucks (buy here)
Peter and the Test Tube Babies - I'm Getting Pissed for Christmas (buy here or e-here)
The Ramones - Merry Christmas [I Don't Want to Fight Tonight] (buy here)

Contrasting Musicians

Photo nicked from here

Tuesday is Contrast Podcast day, and this week Tim's lined up a whole mess of goodness for your earholes You see, it's another "Musicians" episode, where artistes introduce their lovingly hand-crafted, hand-picked tunes for your delight. While every iteration of the series has been a treat, this edition promises to be divine. For starters, the heart-meltingly wonderful Marianne Dissard is back (le sigh, le GROS sigh). On top of that, her talented hubbie, Naim Amor, has contributed. And if that weren't enough, Victor Scott has reappeared. Still want more? Dearest Ross treats us to his current band, Paper Cuts. Not satisfied? Then how about the intriguingly named Chainsaw Agent (about which tangentially more later) telling us we all feel like Holden Caulfield and can never go home??

Download it all here and tell everyone what you think about it here.

(00:37) Penny Century - Nothing burns like bridges

Penny Century’s website
Penny Century at Letterbox Records

(03:14) Marianne Dissard & Matt Mitchell - Boum

Marianne & Matt’s myspace
Marianne’s website

(05:03) Victor Scott feat. Lauri Apple Music corp. - Pink Motorola

Victor’s website (free album download!)
Lauri’s website
Lauri’s myspace

(09:17) Strangers in Wonderland - Behind the mask

Strangers in Wonderland website

(14:05) Naim Amor - Lychee girl

Naim’s website
Naim’s myspace

(16:59) Paper Cuts - Exit this topic

Paper Cuts on last.fm (free album download!)

(19:39) Rob Szabo - Family and friends

Rob’s website

(24:20) MJ Hibbett - A million ukeleles

MJ Hibbett’s website
MJ Hibbett on myspace

(30:46) Statehood - End the moderation

Statehood’s website

(33:28) The Jellyheads - Organumatron

The Jellyhead’s website

(41:27) Deek Deekster - Some of us just love to play

Deek Deekster’s website

(46:55) Moby Noor - Soulpilot

Moby Noor’s website

(52:14) Chainsaw Agent - Everyone feels like Holden Caulfield and you are never going home

Chainsaw Agent’s website

(57:11) Paul Terry & Moyra Noise - Smother me

Paul’s myspace
Moyra’s myspace

Next week's theme is cleverly simple, but demands nerves of steel. To participate, set your digital musique playah to "shuffle" and submit the first song that pops up, along with a plausible introduction if it turns out to be The Baja Men's "Who Let The Dogs Out?" To find out how to contribute, pop over here.

Right, obviously I didn't contribute this week. But in keeping with both this week's episode and next week's theme, let's do a bit of word association. And the random word I've picked is: chainsaw. Why chainsaw? Well, though I've never had cause to wield one, these strange engines somewhat intrigue me. Maybe I'm destined to become a Canadian lumberjack and I should get myself down to our local polytechnic, plunk down $210 (Canadian, Dearest Yanks; in your little dollars that's about $230, tee hee, and more when oil reaches a benjamin a barrel), and learn how to use one.

Anyway, enough of that. Here's some lovely chainsawish music:

Daisy Chainsaw - All The Kids Agree (buy here)
Ah, they burned so bright for so short... And ex-kinderwhore Katie Jane Garside is now doing this.

The Meteors - Chainsaw Boogie (buy here or e-here)
Psychobilly a go-go!!

Pop Will Eat Itself - The Black Country Chainstore Massacreee (buy here)
The Poppies in fine, early grebo form...

C'est tiguidou!*

Hey, mon ami! This bright and sunny Sunday I'd like to share with you a spot of Francophone hilarity. Têtes à claques, which translates roughly as "a face one wants to slap," is the product of warped Quebecois Michel Beaudet. To date he has created some sixty of these manic little clips, and the French-speaking world has gone bananes for them.

In order to fully appreciate the humour of the fruity Quebec variant of French, laced liberally with Anglicisms, one should have at least a working knowledge of the language. However, I wager that even those bereft of any Gallic linguistic skills will be able to appreciate the daftness of what's on offer. Ben, watch bien.

And what a perfect excuse to post some fantastic Quebecois choonz:

Les Breastfeeders - Minijupe et Watusi (buy here or e-here)
Garage rock meets yé-yé, oh yeah!!!

Saveur Marmelade - Bombe au Chlore (buy here)
Grunge ain't dead, it just moved to St-Jean-sur-Richelieu.

Chocolat - Gabrielle (buy here)
Rootsy, ramalama rawk with a soupçon of fuzzy psychedelia.

Les Amis au Pakistan - Pomme Segara (buy here)
Wonderfully arty, playful, and bootsy fun, fun, FUN from the stultifying suburb of Laval. "Etouffe ma pantoufle" - smother my slipper!! Indeed! How glorious!! Oh, and you must see the video:



*C'est tiguidou = Everything's peachy

Drama & Trauma

Dearest Friends, it has been a rather action-packed week, with dollops of drama and a wee bit of trauma. But fret not, all is relatively well...

For starters, Darling Daughter fell off a skittish horse last Sunday, and the meeting of her left shoulder with the ground resulted in a broken arm. To be specific, the poor thing is now sporting a proximal humerus fracture. Indeed, she recovered from the pain of the fall so quickly that initially we suspected only a bad strain or wrench. We only discovered the break after taking her to the doctor on Monday after she woke up a few times in the night complaining of discomfort. The doc sent us to the excellent BC Children's Hospital, where she was seen relatively quickly and efficiently - another set of full marks for BC's (Yanks take note) public health care system. Treatment is simple: sling to get the bones aligned, ibuprofen for the pain, plus follow-up visits to the ortho clinic to make sure the head knits with the shaft. Drama and trauma.

Help She Can't Swim - Hospital Drama (buy here or e-here)
An urgent, shouty (and y'all know I like shouty) guitar-synth gem from these Sarfeast English arty popsters.

Next up, Halloweeeeeen. My workplace actually goes whole hawg on the day, with a majority of folks actually dressing up. Our department's theme was "rock stars" and though I briefly considered going as Sufjan Stevens (not really), I finally settled on Ozzy Osbourne. I was in fine company; Alice Cooper made an appearance, as did the ghost of John Lennon. I enjoyed running around in an (even more) addled state (than usual), chewing on a rubber bat and shouting "SHARON!" at regular intervals. It's true, I have no shame. But even our CEO (who was dressed as a bug-eyed Roswell alien) seemed to approve heartily. Moreover, I'm proud to announce that at our afternoon costume judging, OzzyFiL came in second, just ahead of Alice, but behind a chicken from Human Resources. Lots of drama.

Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train (buy here)
Definitely off the rails. Oh yes. But if you want to see Halloween done right, visit Mentok.

And then there was today, when first thing in the morning a servery, switchy thingy keeled over at work, bringing absolutely everything to a grinding halt. No e-mail. No internet. No network drives. Nothing. Nada. Internet banking was unavailable. Folks couldn't pay their bills. As an additional result, two folks who work for me are having to come in Sunday to sort out that which they had hoped to do today. But it was an interesting anthropological experiment; bereft of electronica and computeralia, folks flapped aimlessly, pausing only to regularly prod their moribund Blackberries and desktops in the hopes of reviving them. Ye gods, we should just have done with it and implant the bloody electrodes in our brains (but only after they sort out decent backup). More drama, some trauma.

The Cure - Grinding Halt (buy here)
Aww, so nice to hear the boys at their angsty, gloomy best.

But finally, with no drama or trauma, my new header! Do you love it as much as I do? I hope so, because it's staying. It was a present from lovely, Dearest Tim Young. You see, in addition to being a podcast guru, a multitalented musician, and all-round generous chap, he's a Photoshop whizz. So when I asked him if he could modify a picture he'd sent me so that I could use it as a header, he came up instead with the wonderful image now flying proudly from my masthead. So, thank you, Dearest Tim!!

Tim Young - Gotta Go [Victor Scott Cover] (see it here)

Feeling Lusty

Taken from this lavvy wall

This week Contrast Podcast ventures into the realm of mortal sin by inviting us all to wade waist-deep in a steaming, roiling pool of thick, viscous, musical... LUUUST!!!

*Pant, pant, drool, quiver*

Ahem. Er, I'd best make this very quick, lest it get messy. Download the podcast here and prepared to get all hot 'n' bothered. Just have a cold shower running on standby, and watch out for the two dirty old men right at the beginning. Oh, and I found the tracklisting written up on the wall of a public lavatory:

(00:00) Intro from Mr G. Letch & Mr A. Thrub

(01:42) Betty Boo - Close the door
Tim from The face of today

(05:06) Betty Davis - Anti love song
Chris from Phosphorus.net

(09:51) She wants revenge - Tear you apart
Linda from Speed of dark

(15:16) Scraping foetus off the wheel - Lust for death
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away

(18:43) Gang of Four - Damaged goods
Sid from Too Much Rock

(22:28) The Jam - Start! (live)
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

(25:10) Amy Rigby - You get to me
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

(28:14) The Long Blondes - Lust in the movies
FiL from Pogoagogo

(31:27) Art Brut - Good weekend
Rick from Are you embarassed easily?

(34:39) Leon Haywood - I wanna do something freaky to you
Dirk from Sexy Loser

(41:47) Ultra Vivid Scene - Tar, iodine, blood and lust
Conrad from White Car Records

(44:42) Julian Cope - Eve’s volcano
Mark from Cinema du Lyon

(49:31) R.E.M. - Tounge
James from Jamesisadork

(53:45) Bruce Cockburn - Bone in my ear
Natalie from Mini-obs

(57:38) Prince - Sex temptation lust
Ross from Just gimme indie rock

You know, my choice (Lust in the Movies by The Long Blondes) somehow got me musing on pop cultcha dames I'd lusted after at one point or another. So, at the risk of totally humiliating myself, here's an abbreviated, annotated, and chronological catalogue of FiL's past lusts:

1) Catwoman. Yes, I know, there have been soooo many, y'all are dying to know which one tickled my fancy. Well, it was Julie Newmar in the glorious (sorry Mentok) sixties TV version. Yep, she was my first crush at around the precocious age six. Rrrrrroooowww!!

Link Wray - Batman Theme (buy here or e-here)

2) Marie Osmond. Yes, I religiously watched the Donny & Marie Show as a bairn. My Marie - that hair! Those chipmunk cheeks! Those dresses!! Embarrassing to think of it now, but back then, I'd be her little bit of country or rock 'n' roll or whatever.

But I confess: her teeth, huge and white like marble headstones, creeped me out. So much so that one day I took a pin to my theretofore sacred Donny & Marie LP sleeve and punched cavities in her toothy Mormon grin. It was then I knew we were not meant to be.

Donny & Marie Osmond - A Little Bit Country (buy here)

3) Princess Leia. Oh man, those hair buns... But by the time she started getting all galactic with Han Solo, I was so over her.

Meco - Star Wars Theme (buy here)

4) Olivia Newton-John. Er, um, I blame circumstances beyond my control. Physical came out around the time puberty hit. My hormones were all over the place.

Olivia Newton-John - Physical (buy here)

But these days I far prefer this version:

Revolting Cocks - (Let's Get) Physical (buy here)

5) Siouxsie Sioux. I am your humble servant, O my Goth Queen...

Siouxsie & The Banshees - Dazzle (buy here)

6) Kate Bush. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. However, I wasn't as smitten as one of my Dearest Friends was. Indeed, there was a high school French teacher at our school who bore an uncanny resemblance to the lushly maned warbler, much to his delight and anguish.

Kate Bush - Sat In Your Lap (buy here)

7) L7. All of them. In a vat of baked beans, please.

L7 - Fast and Frightening (buy here )

8) PJ Harvey. This woman is simply amazing in every way. Makes my heart go thrub, thrub, thrub...

PJ Harvey - Sheela Na Gig (buy here)

9) Audrey Hepburn. I don't much fawn over movie stars, but Audrey, oh my! Such grace, such style, such dignity. And she rode a Vespa. Le sigh. Le swoon.

Audrey Hepburn - Moon River (buy here)

I think that's what Eminem would call "cleanin' out my closet." Alright Dearest Friends, now it's your turn. Which slebs of screen, stage, or sound did/do you lust after??

Low-Life Lullabies

Three glorious Tiger Lillies

The bloke in the pub was furious, shouting accusations of blasphemy in harsh, drunken Irish tones at the trio playing in the corner. The singer, a short, round man in a bowler, white shirt, and baggy black trousers held up by suspenders, leaned forward from the two-foot-high stage until he was face-to-face with the heckler. He continued to squeeze his accordion manically while spitting out the song's lyrics in falsetto:

I'm crucifying Jesus, nail him to the cross
The poor old bastard bleeds to death and I don't give a toss
I'm bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang banging in the nails
I'm bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang banging in the nails...

His bandmates, a skinny beanpole on upright bass and a rotund hulk on drums, looked at each other and smirked. The singer and heckler kept at it for some time, a few snarling inches apart, until the drunken Irishman was escorted out the pub's front door.

And that, Dearest Friends, was my introduction to the sick and twisted Tiger Lillies. And I loved it.

What this band does is quite unlike anything I have ever heard. Their music has been described as surreal-anarcho-punk-cabaret, their lyrics as blasphemous, blackly humorous, bawdy, and both Brechtian and Freudian. The world they inhabit is replete with prostitutes, lunatics, murderers, perverts, boogeymen, addicts, and misfits. But make no mistake; this is not just shock opera. Well, alright, a good bit of it is. But their raw, on-the-edge musical depictions of cartoonish grotesques reveal both a strong sense of compassion for us deeply flawed humans, and fierce outrage at the injustices of society.

Singer Martyn Jacques's apparently draws much of his material from the seven years he spent in London's Soho living above a brothel. In the late eighties he hooked up with two Adrians: percussionist Huge and bassist Stout. The compost in which they wallow has made them incredibly prolific: twenty-two albums, collaborations with the Kronos Quartet and Edward Gorey, an amazing adaptation of Heinrich Hoffmann's macabre Shockheaded Peter fairytales, and a Grammy nomination. Marilyn Manson loves them, as do Franz Ferdinand's Alex Kapranos, David Byrne, Matt Groening, Terry Gilliam, and, of course, I. But, not surprisingly, they've always stayed out of the mainstream, swimming instead in murky tributaries.

So why have I chosen now to post about them? Well, for months I've been intending to confess to you all my love of the Lillies. But the immediate catalyst is that they're playing Vancouver tomorrow night, in, of all places, a deconsecrated church -- I simply cannot wait!! Dearest Friends, between now and year-end they're also playing these dates in Canada, on both coasts of the US, and in continental Europe. I beg you, go see them.

And so, onto the music. If you've not yet figured it out, let me paraphrase the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council: "The following songs contain scenes of violence, coarse language and nudity intended for adult audiences. Listener discretion is advised."

The Tiger Lillies - Banging in the Nails
The Tiger Lillies - Sheep
The Tiger Lillies - Whore
The Tiger Lillies - Snip Snip
The Tiger Lillies with the Symphony Orchestra of Norrlandsoperan - Masturbating Jimmy
The Tiger Lillies - Kill You
The Tiger Lillies - Heroin & Cocaine

Find out all about The Tiger Lillies over here. You can e-buy large swathes of their music here or if you'd like to get your grubby mitts on the hard stuff, have a look over here.

And here's a wee bit of the live experience for you. From a June 2007 show in Moscow.

Back Where I Belong

Ena Sharples. Maybe.

Dearest Friends, I have returned from Back East, where I had a funny old ten days or so. Funny, and absolutely knackering. Indeed, my head still feels hollow, like its very pith has been scraped out by a dull spoon.

And I'm not sure when I'll find the downtime to recover...

The businessy bits went well; lotsa "useful" meetings and a couple of dog 'n' pony presentations (yes, I remembered to make 'em larf) interspersed with drunken gluttony into the wee hours, all the name of "relationship building." But the whole exercise was a bit sterile.

The absolute highlight of the trip, however, was meeting up with hizzoner JC, a/k/a The Vinyl Villain, for a long evening of utterly enjoyable japery. What a splendid chap he is! Generous, highly amusing, and brimming with passion for that which is dear to him, most obviously music and his own dear wife. I owe a particular debt to him for sharing with me his Toronto, the one which he has come to know during his few months in-country. He led me down Queen Street and its funky wee boutiques, stopping at a cool-as-fuck bar for a few alky bevvies. We then headed up to Little Italy, where I dined on baked strangled priests at his favourite trattoria, thence to the small-but-perfectly-formed Soundscapes where we spent a good deal of time browsing the esoteric CDs, DVDs, and books on offer. And, as he so candidly and correctly recounts in his account of our meeting, we ended up on the patio of a wanky jazz bar sometime after midnight. Oh, and there was indeed nude life drawing involved, of an Ena-Sharplesish bent (see photo above). Thanks to JC, I've now somewhat modified my rather lackluster view of Toronto - it isn't all just bland downtown core and dead lake. Next time I'll know where to go.

Mouse Eat Mouse - Mair Licht (buy here or e-here)
Coz JC's Scottish, you know. And it was our mutual friend Colin who brought this gem to my attention.

Richard Cheese - People = Shit [Slipknot Cover] (buy here or e-here)
The jazz was truly yawnsome. And JC did poke fun at my metal tendencies...

On Friday it was off to Noo Yawk Ciddy for a weekend visit to Mother. The trip down was aggravating beyond belief; my flight was canceled, which meant I had to reclaim my bags and clear Canadian customs to "reenter" the country, since for flights to the US you go through American immigration just after checking in. Then back to check-in, revisit US passport control, another strip search at security, yada yada yada. But I did have some very interesting conversations with about half-a-dozen fellow travelers along the way, so it wasn't all bad...

And my visit? Well, Saturday was nice. At least the exquisite cilantro (that's coriander for you Brits) & lime martini with my lunch at The Modern was. And the rest of the weekend? Utter disaster. I shan't go into details, but both mindfulness and compassion abandoned me in the face of unrelenting emotional onslaught. Sigh.

Ned's Atomic Dustbin - Happy (buy here )

But it's good to be back, and I have the latest Contrast Podcast to look forward to! This week it's limericks all around, and I'm eager to hear all the poetry. You can download it yourself here, and check out the listings and comments here.

Flying Time

His flight, not mine. But you get the general idea.

Hello, Dearest Friends! This post is coming atcha from Taah-raah-naah, aka Toronto, where I flew on Sunday to do businessy things all week. Digs are quite comfy, if corporately bland (The Sheraton), and methinks I'll be fed and wined to excess if I'm not careful. Last night saw me at Canoe, 54 stories up above the city. I had a lovely meal (roasted cuttlefish & calamari to start, followed by Nunavut caribou), but it was one of those places where food, drizzled with fussily named fluids, rested on beds of of more food, after being lightly or delicately prepared. I always feel uncomfortable when it takes a waiter three minutes to describe what I'm about to eat...

I'm not a fan of Toronto; while not the size or pace of either London or New York, it's a concrete citadel full of fast-flowing folks too busy to say "Hello" or smile. The vast Lake Ontario on which it sits strikes me as flat and sterile, almost as if it has been boiled in some apocalyptic nuclear or chemical catastrophe. However, it is currently the home of one displaced Scot, and we're hoping to meet up and sup later this week in one of the city's ethnic neighbourhoods. Maybe that'll change my view somewhat.

So, onto time. Sigh. As of late there seems to be far too much on for the puny 24 hours that inhabit each day to accomodate. Double sigh. Dearest Wife recently started a part-time teaching gig that prep, lectures, marking, and lacksadaisical first-years have conspired to turn into virtually full time. Triple sigh. And then there's all this child-rearing and parenting stuff. Quadruple sigh.

Dearest Tim has been in a similar timeless space recently, hence this week's Contrast Podcast theme of Time. Download the current episode here

(00:00) The Smiths - These things take time
Tim from The face of today

(03:02) PJ Harvey - One time too many
Lyle from Mentok the Mind-Taker

(07:09) Wesley Willis - He’s doing time in jail
Pieter from Two tramps in mud time

(11:17) Eat - First time love song
Ross from Just gimme indie rock

(15:04) Jean Louis Murat - L’horloge (english translation)
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away

(19:08) Bob Dylan - Most of the time
Nuno from Undercover songs

(24:14) Rancid - Time bomb
James from Jamesisadork

(27:02) Secret Affair - Time for action
FiL from Pogoagogo

(32:15) Flight of the Conchords - Business time
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

(36:33) Joe Jackson - Got the time
Sid from Too Much Rock

(39:43) ballboy - I don’t have time to stand here with you fighting about the size of my dick
Dirk from Sexy Loser

(43:44) Clint Black - No time to kill
Rick from Are you embarassed easily?

(48:43) They Might Be Giants - 25 o’clock
Linda from Speed of dark

(52:34) Half Man Half Biscuit - Time flies when you’re the driver of a train
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

(55:42) Johnny Cash - Time of the preacher
Natalie from Mini-obs

(59:47) Weddings, Parties, Anything - For a short time
Anna from Music I-Quiz

(01:06:13) Matt McGinn - Little ticks of time
Dweller from Child without an iPod

I thought it was high time we had a spot of classic mod revivalism, hence my choice. But there were other timely tunes in the running:

Culture Club - Time (Clock of the Heart) (buy here)
Yes, I seriously considered this track, on a nostalgic tip.

GBH - Race Against Time (buy here)
Perhaps a hangover from last week's fit of noise. Leather, bristles and studs please, but hold the acne.

The Pop Group - We Are Time (buy here)
Frm punk to post-punk, even though GBH came later. Argh, timeline confusion!!

The Jam - Just Who Is the 5 o'clock Hero? (buy here)
Er, that'd be me, sort of. Without the lunchbox.

Ndidi Onukwulu - May Be The Last Time (buy e-here or here)
If you don't know Ndidi, you need to.

Right, must fly off for drinks. Maybe I'll have the narwhal for dinner tonight...

Short & Sweet

It's Tuesday, and that means it's Contrast Podcast day. But first, a confession: I've been unfaithful. Yes, I admit it, last week I omitted to draw your attention to the 'cast, whose theme was (wait for it) Infidelity. So if you're feeling guilty, atone by hopping over here for a listen.

But this week, Dearest Friends, we're celebrating the Short Song. Yes, each and every tune is under two minutes in length, but uses its allotted time wisely. And Napalm Death makes it's CP debut! Hooray for Ross!! Anyway, you can download the podcast here, then pop on over here to comment. And the twenty-five (count 'em!) bijoux on offer are:

(00:00) Jacques Dutronc - Mini mini mini
Tim from The face of today

(02:38) Catherine Feeny - Mr Blue
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

(04:41) Shellac - Boche’s dick
Chris from Phosphorus.net

(06:42) Sparks - Propaganda
Conrad from White Car Records

(07:55) thinguma*jigsaw - Who’s laughing now
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away

(09:28) Brakes - Comma comma comma full stop
Coxon from To die by your side

(09:44) Keller Williams - Old lady from Carlsbad
Anna from Music I-Quiz

(11:12) Shonen Knife - Tortoise brand pot cleaner theme
FiL from Pogoagogo

(12:44) Descendants - Suburban home
James from Jamesisadork

(14:53) The Lemonheads - Being around
Dirk from Sexy Loser

(17:11) U.S. Rail - Grind like a girl
Chip from Atomic Ned

(18:57) Denim - Tampax advert
Lyle from Mentok the Mind-Taker

(20:29) Janis Joplin - Mercedes Benz
Natalie from Mini-obs

(22:20) Hüsker Dü - Never talking to you again
Sid from Too Much Rock

(24:35) The theme from My So Called Life
Charles from Heartache with hard work

(26:10) Liam Lynch - United states of whatever
Greg from Broken Dial

(27:54) Smudge - Babaganoosh
Tom from Better in the Dark

(28:21) Kevn Kinney - Untitled
Linda from Speed of dark

(30:17) Mark Lanegan Band - Bombed
Matthew from Song by Toad

(32:29) Camille - Janine I
Kate from The Glorious Hum

(33:31) Loudon Wainwright III - Liza
Shaun from Cold Citrus

(35:19) Neutral Milk Hotel - King of carrot flowers
Pieter from Two tramps in mud time

(38:39) Asylum Street Spankers - Wake & bake
Cindy from Adzuki Bean Stash

(40:49) Elastica - All nighter
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

(43:01) Napalm Death - You suffer
Ross from Just gimme indie rock

I've long maintained that the Shonen Knife track I submitted is the pithiest, rockingest small song that I know, so my choice was easy. That said, I did briefly consider submitting any one of a number of hardcore/grindcore/thrashcore/noisecore tracks. You see, I have quite a twisted affinity for these genres and the fearsome nuggets of noize they produce. So here's what else was nominally in the running:

Black Flag - Wasted (buy here or e-here)
Before Henry Rollins flew the flag...

The Locust - Kill Roger Hedgecock (buy here or e-here)
I've never listened to conservative trash radio, nor do I recommend violence as a solution to problems. But this bit of blitz & scorch is amazing. You say you can't make out the lyrics? Well, it goes " Most things go unnoticed with your eyes gouged out. They can only twist your arm so much. " I bet you can hear it now...

Stormtroopers of Death - Chromatic Death (buy here)
SOD were the first to fuse hardcore with thrash, which I think is a good thing.

Rudimentary Peni - Media Person (buy here)
Anarcho-punk a go go - rage out!! Named after something the guitarist read in a school textbook about the fetal clitoris being a rudimentary penis. Or something.

OK, there was one song I considered that wasn't a sub-minute screamer. But it was about penises.

Monty Python - Penis Song (Not The Noel Coward Song) (buy here)

I'm Adaptable And I Like My New Role

Dearest Mentok's lovely comment here brought to the fore a question I often ask myself: How the heck did I end up doing what I do??

I mean this in the sense of career, of bacon-on-the-table job, of gainful employ. For you see, I am at happiest with words, with music, with people, with stories. And yet I have ended up in a field heavily planted with numbers, studded with balance sheets, and irrigated by rivers of ca$hflow. My leanings are lefty, pinko, liberal, but I have found myself most usually surrounded by conservative capitalists.

Now I must say that where I ply my trade now is much more in line with my values. Back in En-ger-lund I was for eleven years a cog in a mighty money machine whose sole purpose was to generate profit and boost share price. All else was irrelevant, resistance was futile. Nowadays I'm in the bosom of a co-operative financial system that explicitly puts people before profits. The folk are good & nice, if still capitalist. And they have heart.

However, I'm still a banker, and I don't feel like one.

I must say this disconnect doesn't bother me as much now as it did prior to my move to Vancouver over two years (yoiks!) ago. This is due in equally large parts to the aforementioned nature of my employer, a greatly recalibrated work/life balance, and the fact that I love living in Vancouver. Love it. Loveitloveitloveit. It's also due to the move itself; you see, we were wrapped in heavy cloak of inertia that kept us weighted down where we were. But there was also a comfortable lining to that inertia, one woven of familiarity and the known. Casting off that garment was scary and unsettling, but ultimately liberating. For now I know that if ever I find myself wearing it again, I can, in fact, take it off.

So, I'm still a banker, and I don't feel like one. But that's OK, something wonderful is bound to happen at some point.

Ach, enough of my navel-contemplating, and onto the tunes! Rather appropriately, this has been on the empeethree playah in the car of late. I guarantee you if you crank it up while driving, roll down the windows, and belt it out at top volume, folks will get out of your way. Possibly marvelling at your uber-cool taste, but possibly not.

Public Image Limited - This Is Not A Love Song (try eBay)

Yes, another PiL track. That's two in two days (I'm still trying to banish those wee mummies from my head, I should get there by the weekend), but you deserve it! You should likewise get yerself over to see the Spoilt Victorian Child and his recent PiL piece.

And since you're all so lovely, Dearest Friends, here are a few PiL viddies to viddy. I purposefully skipped that of "Love Song," as it's actually rather cheesy - Johnny Lydon gurning in front of skyscrapers and being chauffeured around in a vintage automobile. Yawn! These, however, are sublime:



Public Image



Careering



Bad Life

Too Much To Dream

Dream amphitheatre pinched from here

For the past several years my dreams have been few, unremarkable, and, for the most part, forgotten within minutes of waking up. Last night, however, I had one that has remained vividly with me for the entire day.

Unfortunately it was not very pleasant.

I was in a bus with a faceless, nameless friend. We were driving through the streets of a town in Sweden. After a bit of twisting and turning down narrow, shop-lined streets, we stopped at an stone amphitheatre set into a mountainside. My friend and I disembarked and entered the arena. A few people milled about, and we decided to climb up the stepped bleachers. As we ascended, the sun beat down on us and a stiff breeze ruffled our hair. We reached the topmost bleacher, but I carried on climbing the few extra meters to the top of the mountain ridge.

As I neared the crest, I notices what appeared to be a square of cloth suspended between two upright sticks in the ground. It flapped in the wind like a Tibetan prayer flag. Drawing closer, I could see that it was more like a baby's all-in-one suit. When I got up close, I realized with dread that it was, in fact, the body of a child, dessicated by the sun and breeze.

Recoiling, I noticed another mummified infant in bright clothing, lying face-down in the scrubby grass. I hoped what I was seeing was the evidence of a local burial practice. Then, turning to my left, I saw another small, grey form, not quite so dried out. I bent down and picked it up. It too was a child, perhaps one year old. Only it was still alive, albeit just. It turned its face to me, and opened its mouth to scream or cry, but all that issued forth was a white froth.

I was seized by dull horror and helplessness. And then I woke up.

Only a dream, Dearest Friends, but a troubling, vexing, and discomfiting one that I've not yet been able to shake. Perhaps this will help me to do so.

The Fall - Arid Al's Dream (only released on 1992's Volume 4 compilation; try eBay)
Public Image Limited - Bad Baby (buy here)
Nurse With Wound - Echo Poeme Sequence No. 2 (large file; buy here)

That Old Feeling

Yes, I know, I'm late. Contrast Podcast came out this past Tuesday and I'm only now getting around to posting about it. I'm a delinquent FiL...

This week saw a celebration of 78 rpm vinyl. Indeed, skool doesn't get much older than that, unless you go back to wax cylinders. And what an eclectic celebration it is! Everything from Elvis to Hawaiian hula to Ferrante & Teicher. Truly one of the more contrastic podcasts of late. So don't pull your nose just because there's no Wedding Present, Sufjan Stevens, or Arcade Fire - have a listen to it here and expand your musical horizons! And if you want the tracklisting or are minded to comment, then pop on over here.

Unfortunately I no longer have any 78 rpm records; I believe they got lost somewhere between multiple moves and one basement flood. But my choice this week, Gracie Fields' "Biggest Aspidistra In The World," though ripped from a CD, was originally released back in 1938 on a 78. I was first introduced to Gracie Fields's music some thirteen years ago, under circumstances that spawned what are probably permanent emotional resonances.

Though born Up North in Derbyshire, My Great Uncle Don lived for most of his life in Shoeburyness, close to Southend-on-Sea in Essex. That's about forty miles due East of London. He was a pharmacist and for many years he and his wife, Ida, ran a local chemists in nearby Westcliff-on-Sea. My Father was very close to his Uncle Don and Aunt Ida, and while a teenager and a young adult in the 1940s and 1950s he would frequently visit them, often taking his rugby friends along. He regarded them almost as parents and spoke very fondly both of them and of his time in Southend. Ah, the Kursaal...

For the first few years that I lived in the UK, I would go down from Cambridge to Shoeburyness every so often to visit Uncle Don. By that time he was a widower in his late eighties. Uncle Don looked like a cross between a bulldog and a stout Flemish duchess and was always dapperly dressed in Marks & Spencer best. He was an infallibly polite man, though he held very strong conservative views and did not suffer fools gladly. He also had an dryly impish sense of humour.

My visits always followed the same script. After arriving at Southend Central train station on a Sunday, I would take a taxi to his modest bungalow near the seashore and then we would make our way to Thorpe Hall Golf Club, where he was a highly respected member emeritus. We would first have a drink in the club bar --Uncle Don always had a bottle of Worthington's White Shield strong pale ale-- then decamp to the dining room for a traditional English lunch of overcooked vegetables, decent roast meat of some sort, and a sticky pudding. We would then return to his bungalow, settle into his 1949 vintage sitting room, and chat for a while.

While conversation was occasionally grueling (due largely to his Northern taciturnity), more often than not I got him talking about my Father and The Old Days, and I just lapped up his stories. After a while he would suggest I put the kettle on and we would then sup tea with the TV on until he fell asleep in his armchair. I would then wait a respectable period of time, then loudly declare, as if we had been chatting all along, that Goodness, I'd better think about catching my train back to Cambridge.

Upon getting back to my digs, I would ring my Father in New York to relay the essence of my visit. It was usually late, and I would frequently be grumpy and irritated as a result of British Rail delays. Dad would always thank me for having gone to see Uncle Don, as distance and circumstance meant that he couldn't do so himself. And I was always pleased that I had been able to do it for him, pleased enough to significantly mitigate the irritation and grump.

In late 1994, at the age of 92, Uncle Don took rather poorly. After a spell in a nursing home, he was admitted to hospital following a suspected mild stroke. At the time I had just started work in The City and was in the midst of a distasteful crash-course on Basic Accounting For The Numerically Challenged. Nevertheless, a sense of urgency settled over my debit and credit thoughts, so I told my Father that I would go visit him one evening at Rochford Hospital. When I finally arrived, some two hours after setting out (thanks again, British Rail), I wasn't even certain whether or not he knew I was there; his eyes stared fixedly at the ceiling, and a horrid, raspy breathing laboured out of his gaping mouth. I told him that my Father sent his love and jabbered about I-remember-not-what for about fifteen minutes before taking my leave. He died later that night. My father was more grateful than ever that I had made the visit.

In planning the funeral, my Father asked me to track down a copy of Gracie Field's "Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye." Apparently Uncle Don had mentioned to Dad that he'd quite like to have that jaunty song played at his funeral. I located a Gracie compilation, and on the appointed day the song duly rang forth as a conveyor belt carried Uncle Don's coffin from an achingly kitsch chapel into the flaming heart of Southend Crematorium. I remember my Father sobbing openly, oblivious to the confusion of the other attendees who had not been forewarned of the musical choice.

So that's how I met Gracie. And every time I hear her, I think of Uncle Don, overcooked vegetables, Southend-on-Sea, Worthington's White Shield, and journeys on old British Rail slam-door trains.

And of my Father. Crying.

Gracie Fields - Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye (buy here or e-here)