Tuesday, June 20, 2006

FiLbo versus Pilbo


A brief post today, mes chers amis, for tonight I must devote all my energies to an odious task: the assembly of an Ikea Pilbo coffee table. Yes, I know, it all sounds so pleasantly bourgeois: "Oh Emily, do come by for a glass of Shiraz and bring us a copy of your latest oeuvre. Miles will be assembling the Pilbo and we would love "Spirit of the Yak: A Photojourney Through Mongolia" to be its inaugural book."

But it's not.

No, I can assure you it will be an interminable night of unbridled rage, gut-knotting frustration, opaque instructional heiroglyphs, sheared screwheads, screaming fits, marital discord, cracked particle board, and blood, all ending in complete, utter, and irredeemable despair. Nevertheless, this is my challenge, my Nemesis for the night, and my loins I am a-girding. With a clear mind and a fully-charged Black & Decker PivotPlus cordless drill/driver at my side, I will take on the Pilbo. But it may very well end up like this:

Black Flag - Nervous Breakdown (buy here)

As an aside, the PivotPlus is a true genius of marketing. It can be configured to look either like a blaster pistol or a lightsaber, thereby allowing us late thirtysomethings to secretly pretend we're both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker while ostensibly doing useful things around the house. And we can feel really confused about our emotions towards Princess Leia.

Before I go (no, no, I'm not procrastinating), I did want to mention that today I visited Zulu (sigh, don't ask how much) and picked up 'Losin' It,' the new release by local band Vancougar. Doesn't that name simply rock?? These four sassy lasses pump out some luscious licks of hooky, edgy power pop with completely sussed lyrics. 'Mine First' skewers a hipster's angst at seeing "their" cherished underground band making it big. And 'Way It's Gon' Be' so perfectly captures the wobbly expectations and frantic projections of a budding relationship

Vancougar - Mine First (buy here)
Vancougar - Way It's Gon' Be (visit them here and here)

And late at night I’ll wake up
And I will touch your hair
Just to make sure that this is real

That’s the way it’s gon’ be

‘Cuz haven’t I waited for years?
And haven’t I paid all my dues in tears?

In the same foray I also purchased Camera Obscura's 'Let's Get Out Of This Country.'

*Sigh*

*Sigh* once more.

And then *sigh* again.

Dear Friends, this is truly a work of splendour and beauty with not a dud or filler track to be found anywhere. Indeed, this piece of shimmery, coy loveliness might be just the ticket to see me unscathed through my impending Pilbo flatpack death match. Speaking of tickets, I picked one up for their July show in Vancouver. Dear Bryce at plasticmusic seems similarly smitten, and he has posted the North American tour dates for the edification of all. And I must offer you this:

Camera Obscura - Country Mile (buy here)
Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out Of This Country (visit them here)

Let's get out of this country
I'll admit I am bored with me

I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind

We'll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty

We'll pick berries and recline
Let's hit the road dear friend of mine

Oh, and one last thing, I promise. I made my inaugural contribution to the Contrast podcast, plus I added my tuppence to Merz the Magnificent's latest community post on the best music of 2006 to date. Please do visit both, if you've not already had enough of me...

Right, I can hear the Pilbo snuffling and wuffling downstairs. Can't put this off any longer (though not a bad effort, considering this was to be a 'short' post). Time to face my fears...

11 comments:

A. B. Chairiet said...

Hi FiL,

More great writing! :)

Downloading one of the Camera Obscura songs...

I truly hope the table looks lovely, and with minimal bloodshed. ;)

Loved this line: "...an interminable night of unbridled rage, gut-knotting frustration, opaque instructional hieroglyphs, sheared screwheads, screaming fits, marital discord, cracked particle board, and blood, all ending in complete, utter, and irredeemable despair."

Love it!

You have a damn fine way of writing in a funny casual fashion, though there's depth to it. I see it. It's shining on the page. :)

...

Happy Wednesday!
~ Ash

Mentok the Mind-taker said...

Dang that's a hot looking tool!

Mentok the Mind-taker said...

Thanks for the link to the podcast. The smooth tunes got me through an especially boring hour of copy-editing.

It was especially cool to hear your and Colin's real voices. I had imagined you having more of a British accent. In fact, I imagined you sounding rather like the late Richard Harris. Mind-taking takes a beating again! The mid-Atlantic character of your real voice has an elegance all its own.

Ash: you gotta get in on this podcast. You know we're all dying to hear your southern accent ;-)

Rachel said...

Oh dear, I do apologize for the horrendous task that has been put before you...I have faith you will conquer the beast.

"As an aside, the PivotPlus is a true genius of marketing. It can be configured to look either like a blaster pistol or a lightsaber, thereby allowing us late thirtysomethings to secretly pretend we're both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker while ostensibly doing useful things around the house. And we can feel really confused about our emotions towards Princess Leia."

You crack me up, I can just picture this: You battling it out with the pilbo, light saber (aka PivotPlus) in hand as Yoda's wise words guide you to victory!
hehe

Not only does the band, Vancougar have a kick ass name but their music is making my ears very happy, indeed. So now I have to be strong, I must resist the urge to visit my local record shop until payday...
...
*sigh*

Camera Obscura, always a pleasure *nods*

"May the force be with you." -Yoda

A. B. Chairiet said...

FiL: I'm loving "Let's Get Out of this Country"...what a great band!!

Mentok: Ha! I doubt they'd let me in on it...but I would, accent and all. :)

...

Hope you're well, FiL!

Thank you so much for the Camera Obscura. :)

Happy Thursday,
~ Ash

bryce said...

One of my fave words from the Urban Dictionary:

Cougar:

An older woman trying way too hard to look young. Usually heavy makeup and way too tan, sometimes orange. Generally has leathery, smoking damaged skin, short skirt, and may have obvious breast implants.

unknown said...

Let the joy of the Camera people spread wide and far... for Glasgow bands will be taking over this Earth very, very soon... :)

So glad everyone loves them to bits. They make me happy too.

Hope you won against the PILBO FiL.

FiL....?

FiL.........?

FIL.............!!!!!!!!

Nope, he's a goner.

Death by a lightsabred Pivotplus that went to the dark side.

So very, very sad...

But, no fear.

He returns in Episode... what was it again?

T&F@tlh said...

FiL,

That noise was not the ikea beast, it was Gina asking to go out!

tell her her daddy loves her!
xxx

Rachel said...

Fil?...

*sniffles* We lost Fil to the pilbo coffee table...Screw the 'force'!!!! This is BS!


(that pilbo better watch it's back)

FiL said...

Oh, my Dearest Friends, I'm touched by your concern...

Dearest Colin, Dearest Lovelybelle, fret not! I'm alive - not a pile of old-man jedi robes lying somewhere in a Death Star corridor!

Dearest T, it most certainly was the Pilbo. I know my lovely Gina's noises, and it weren't one of them...

Dearest Bryce, that's conjured up a mental picture I never wished to have, but I know exactly what you mean!

Dearest Ash, thank you again for your kindest (and I can't help but feel undeserved) compliments. I'm so pleased you like the Camera Obscura - I've become obsessed with them. And do, do, do please, please, please join the Contrast Podcast brigade!!

Dearest Mentok: Yes, the PivotPlus is most useful and, just as important, cool. It also has a single LED light under the chuck so you can see what you're doing. Awesome. As for the accent, it's been streched, squeezed, and moulded in so many ways over the years. Maybe one day I'll go through the story. Whenever I'm in the US I'm almost always taken for English or Irish(??), while in the UK I was frequently mistaken for a Canadian, for some reason...

FiL

unknown said...

PS,

"We'll find a cathedral city

You can convince me I am pretty..."


i know for a fact that they are singing about Brechin here (in the county of angus in scotland). my mum stays in brechin. very cathedral i can tell you... :)