Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Back On The Chain Gang

Can you hear the clanking? That's the sound of this week's Contrast Podcast contributors, working on the song-chain gang. And I'm most honoured to have done a stint as one of the rock-splitters.
It works like this: our ringleader, Tim, picks a song to start with, then passes the title on to the next person, who in turn picks another song that is related in some way, shape, or form to the original choice. That person's song then gets passed on to the next contributor, who chooses another tune related to the previous one. The process then repeats until Tim has himself a full podcast.
Understand? Yes? No? Either way, you can download the podcast here, or use the following RSS feed to subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast
Let's swing on the song chain:
(00:00) The Turtles - Happy Together
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:26) The Beastie Boys - Sure Shot
Matt from Earfarm
(07:10) Sister Machine Gun - Smash your radio
GD from Bitesize Bonus
(10:37) The Damned - Smash it up (part 2)
Sid from Too Much Rock
(13:46) The Upsetters - Party time (part 2)
The Duke of Straw from The Late Greats
(18:40) Puff Daddy & The Family - Victory
Taylor from T-sides
(23:54) Cut Chemist - Spinning Wheel
Murf from False45th
(29:22) Schrodinger’s Cat - Spin
Cindy from Adzuki Bean Stash
(33:03) Denovo - Digging in the dirt
Chip from Donewaiting
(39:48) Madness - Baggy Trousers
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(42:46) Pop Will Eat Itself - There’s a psychopath in my soup
FiL from Pogoagogo
(44:26) The Fall - There’s a ghost in my house
Simon from You Can Call Me Betty
(47:28) The Smithereens - House we used to live in
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(52:14) Jimi Hendrix - House of the rising sun
Waffles from Waffles Radio
There will be more chains in the future, and if you want to be a link in one, do let Tim know. Next week's podcast will ask 'Why?' So if you have a sng with that interrogative in its title, fire it off, along with a suitable intro. Have a peek here to understand how it all works.
I was asked to work off of Crash Calloway's selection, 'BaggyTrousers' by Madness. Before settling on the Psychopath /Madness link I considered a few other contenders, almost all of which were on the insanity tip. Hmm...
Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train (buy here)
Prince Buster - Madness (buy here)
Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy (buy here)
I did also fleetingly think of focusing on the 'baggy' bit, but I wasn't sure whether the world was ready for a Northside revival...
Northside - Take 5 (buy here or e-here)
And finally, coz I couldn't leave y'all hanging like that:
Pretenders - Back on the Chain Gang (buy here)

Monday, February 26, 2007

Sleep & Serendipity

Our boudoir. No, really...

Dear Readers, I'm pleased to say that this weekend yielded up a fair amount of that most precious commodity, sleep. Saturday was a bit go-go a go-go, partly due to the rather worrying discovery that the wooden frame underlying a marble-faced step down into our dining room was completely, mysteriously water-logged and rotting. Cue crowbar and hatchet.

But on Sunday morning, mirabilis dictu, the children were kind enough to let Dearest Wife and me have a lovely, snuggly lie-in. No alarm clocks, no appointments, just a comfy, warm duvet, us two snoozers, and (of course) Ginadawg under the covers at the foot of the bed, honking and snoring gently. Pure bliss.

The Damned - Love Song (buy here)
Just for you, Dearest Wife, here's a love song

And now for something completely different: let's hear it for serendipity. As I was driving home from work, I plugged in the empeethree playah only to find it had been playing in loop all day since I'd forgotten to turn it off in the morning. To my delight, what issued forth was a mgnificent set from a past podcast of the wonderful Colleen Crumbcake's Sandy Acres Soundlab on East Village Radio. The music kicked in at the tail end of 'Delicious Demon' by The Sugarcubes, then took us straght through to 'Legal Man' by B&S via the delights of The Ramones, Buzzcocks, Metric, Stereo Total, The Muffs, and The Style Council. I tell you, it was what the youngsters would call 'dope.' Indeed, I couldn't resist belting out "Lights go out, WAAWLS come tumblin' down" as the Pigmobile squealed along, all being right with the world...

If you don't listen to Dearest Colleen, then you are missing out on a weekly chunk of funkyshine. Go here, download the latest show, and your soul will be complete. In the meantime, here is a poor facsimile of what floated my boat:

Stereo Total - Holiday Innn (buy here or e-here)
Metric - Combat Baby (buy here)
Belle & Sebastian - Legal Man (buy here or e-here)

Friday, February 23, 2007

On The Wires Of My Nerves

What is going on?

I'm hurtling through this week, brain afire with the snap-snap-snap of electrified neurons. By sight I've found myself able to feel texture as well as see hue and shape. I was fascinated this afternoon by the irregular, bright green wrinkles of a kale leaf at Granvile Island market. Yesterday my breath was taken away by the luscious nap and sweeping line of a crimson velvet coat that I saw getting out of a car as I drove home from work.

Ideas have been frothing forth like the rich, foamy head on a pint of ale. Some are relatively wholly formed, others are fragments that I feel I need to somehow collect and store in some sort of mental sack. But they are coming so thick and fast that it's difficult to catch them all.

On top of it all, I'm swinging between giddy euphoria and crabbed irritability. This morning I gave an under-trained clerk at the Kingston-upon-Thames branch of Bradford & Bingley a severe tongue lashing by long-distance phone for her employer's utter incompetence. Later on, I was marvelling at kale.

It's probably a combination of averaging four hours of sleep per night, an aforementioned go-go-go time at work, and the floods of caffeine and adrenaline deployed to support it all. Yes, that's the most likely explanation. Just shut up, FiL, and go to bed. Leave the nice people alone.

But perhaps somebody slipped me a tab somewhere.

Or maybe it's something else altogether.

Cabaret Voltaire - Sensoria (buy here)
Shamen - Hyperreal Orbit (buy here)
Add N To X - On The Wires Of Our Nerves (buy here)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Alternate Reality

Dearest Friends, I have managed to escape! Yes, through subterfuge and guile I managed to flee the clutches of Alternate FiL and his easy listening ways. First I stunned him with a blast of Ministry then, while he was clutching his Neil Sedakas, I pulled his polo shirt over his head, and scarpered.**

Ministry - Burning Inside (buy here)

Don't know what I'm talking about? Then have a listen to this week's Contrast Podcast, which presents a parallell universe populated by alternate versions of songs. You know, performed by the original artists, but in a different stylee than the original. You can download the episode here, or subscribe using the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Right, let's get ready to skew our ears:

(00:41) Nada Surf - Concrete bed
Richard from Invisible Limb
(03:07) The Young Knives - Coastguard
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(07:35) Guillemots - Trains to Brazil
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(11:38) New Order - The beach
Jarrod from Living in fear is no good to anyone
(18:57) The Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(25:16) Blind Melon - No rain
Chip from Donewaiting
(28:01) The Chameleons - Bobby Moore’s wine
Colin from And before the first kiss
(32:07) Mae - This is the last time
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(35:59) Incubus - Drive
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(40:13) Holly Cole Trio - Tango ’til they’re sore
Rick from Are you embarrassed easily?
(45:36) Counting Crows - Have you seen me lately
Dan Beahm from Dan Beahm & The Invisible Three
(49:58) The Sugarcubes - Hot meat
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(53:56) Nick Cave & Blixa Bargeld - Where the wild roses grow
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(58:25) Suede - My insatiable one
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:37) Ted Hawkins - Happy hour
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

I was originally going to submit the Sugarcubes's Icelandic version of "Birthday," but I deferred to Tom's "Hot Meat" (ooer missus, fnarr fnarr). But also in contention was the following alternate "Clay" version of Nine Inch Nails's "Head Like A Hole." It's also highly appropriate in light of my current sleep-deprived state...

NIN - Head Like A Hole (Clay Version) (buy here)

** That's one explanation for my scarcity this week. The alternate one blames it on a very hectic, tiring work week spent tooling around the Lower Mainland from meeting to meeting, making a presentation that I really did not feel prepared to make, and talking business over three very delicious dinners here, here, and here. I don't know which version is real - you decide what to believe. I'm off to bed...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Soft, Soft, Loud

Camera Obscura, Richards on Richards, 13 Feb 2007
Photo by The Get Up Kid
Dearest Friends, last Tuesday I popped down to Richards on Richards to see the lovely Camera Obscura on the last Canadian date of their gruelling world tour. They kicked off in the Yoo Ess of Aaay back in mid-January, and are now on their way to wend round Australia and New Zealand. After that, it's a fortnight break, then back to the UK and continental Europe for another month solid of dates.

With all that touring, it's probably no surprise that they all seemed a bit, well, tired. As in fatigued, mind you, not old or stale. Yes, yes, I know they're not the most rawkous, turn-it-up-to-eleven band at the best of times, but it did seem like they could have used a nice bath, a hot cuppa, and an early night. Sigh, I hope they are looking after themselves.

Still, despite all of that and a pretty sloppy sound system, they were charming. The set, mostly songs off of Let's Get Out Of This Country with a few gems from the back catalogue, didn't vary much from the last time they were in town some seven months ago. But it was delivered so dreamtastically that I was delighted to hear it again. When the first organ notes of "Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken" floated up towards the heavens, those wee hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And this time round, "Country Mile" wasn't spoiled by loudmouth wankers jabbering away up front.

You know, of course, that in the end my heart belongs to Dear, Dear Traceyanne. Though she dresses in schoolmarm chic and comes over all dour and wry, there is something so terribly vulnerable and confessional in her singing that it makes me want to give her a great, big hug. Sigh again.

Camera Obscura - I Love My Jean (buy here )
One of those back-catalogue gems I mentioned. But if you don't have Let's Get Out Of This Country, shame on you! Buy it now here or e-here. Otherwise else I'll get cross.

Opening for Camera Obscura was Portastatic, or rather I should say half of Portastatic, as it was only Mac on vocals and guitar, accompanied by Margaret on violin. I must say that I had theretofore not paid much attention to this band, fronted by the aforementioned Mac, ex of Superchunk. But the duo pumped out some righteous indie folkie sounds, including a fine, heartrending cover of Prefab Sprout's "When Love Breaks Down". I remembered that song as I walked the block back to my car after the show. It was a few minutes into Valentine's Day, and standing on the corner were seven hookers, awaiting business. Somehow it struck me as very, very sad.

Portastatic - You Blanks (buy here or e-here)

Dearest Friends, I have a confession to make. Much as I enjoyed the loveliness of Camera Obscura and was pleased to make Portastatic's acquaintance, I'm desperately feeling the need to rock hard and loud. Yes, I want to go to a gig and come out sweaty, with ears ringing, and possibly a bruise or two. But alas, there is nothing on the horizon that fits the bill. Sigh yet again...

But while I'm waiting, I have We Are THE PHYSICS to keep me company. I discovered these Glaswegian yoofs (does ALL the best music come from Scotland? Methinks it does.) on the gronktastic 20 Jazz Funk Greats blog (memo to self: must add to blogroll). Their single "Less Than Three" is all jerky, angular, garagey, shouty, riffy goodness that runs around your living room, scares the dog, and knocks over the lamp.

We Are THE PHYSICS - Less Than Three (buy here)
And you can see Michael, Michael, Michael, and Chris in speccy, skinny tie action right below!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

From The Artists To You

Goodness, this week has squirmed out of my hands and is galloping away towards the sunset. Thursday already, and I had meant to post so much more. Sigh...

Anyway, for those of you who have not yet seen it, Contrast Podcast this week offered up another nifty episode of artists introducing their own songs. I particularly liked the Blur-esque Shakes track and Anibal Miranda's bouncy bit about skirts...

As ever, you can download the cast here, or subscribe in perpetuity using this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

So, let's turn it over to the folks wot bring you the tunes:

(01:04) racingpaperplanes - In company of ghosts
racingpaperplanes website
(05:29) The Amateurs - Things you only know if you don’t drive
The Amateurs website
The Amateurs on myspace
(09:57) Eric Metronome - Moving Water
Eric Metronome’s website
Eric Metronome on myspace
(12:44) Rain - A brief answer
Rain’s website
Rain on myspace
(16:25) Naomi Hall - Bride of the monster
Naomi Hall’s website
Naomi Hall on myspace
(20:25) Die Romantik - Narcissist’s Waltz
Die Romantik’s website
Die Romantik on myspace
(24:29) V!TAL - More than grime
V!TAL on myspace
(29:07) Anibal Miranda - Mini Saia
Anibal Miranda’s website
Anibal Miranda on myspace
(32:05) The National Pool - A01
The National Pool on myspace
(36:17) Our Little Secret - Easy
Our little secret’s website
(41:30) JBro & Cindy Adzuki - Hippo dances in the rain
Cindy Adzuki’s website
JBro Adzuki on myspace
(44:50) The Shakes - Liberty Jones
The Shakes website
The Shakes on myspace
(49:31) Dean Whitbread - Old
Dean Whitbread’s blog
(55:36) The Me Band - Loaf of bread man
The Me Band’s website
The Me Band on myspace

Next week CP turns again to the hoi polloi and asks them to contribute alternate versions of songs. So if you've got a recording of The Bay City Rollers singing "Saturday Night" in Albanian, Tim wants to hear from you. Pop on over here for directions on how to take part.

Speaking of artists and songs and Tim, our multitalented podcast emcee has produced (yet another) wee gem of his own. It's his fantastic entry for the remix competition being run by Seattle electropunk grrlz The Trucks, and I warn you it's a bit ruuude (a hangover from that X-Rated CP episode, no doubt). But it rocks, and it stonks, and I guarantee it will transport you right to Saturday night in the carpark of The Works Nighclub, Kingston-upon-Thames...

Tim Young - Titties (Largin' It Mix)

And why not check out the original while you are at it:

The Trucks - Titties (buy here)

Good luck, Tim!!

BREAKING NEWS: Merz from Mars Needs Guitars is back online, back in action, and back on track!! So do head on over for some great & groovy music.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Rip Up Your Hearts

Valentine's Day - bah, humbug!! Just a manufactured money-spinner to feed the capitalist machine between Xmas and Easter.

This year, no overpackaged chocs, no environment-degrading, worker-exploiting roses, no enforced dining out for Mr & Mrs FiL. We're staying in, having a nice but simple meal, watching a chick-flick (I Capture The Castle), and scrumming down on something sweet (not Ben & Jerry's - it just hasn't been the same since they sold out to Unilever) on the sofa.
Sod Valentine's Day. Rip up the script. If you love someone, go a step further and surprise them some other way on some random day. Pick them a bunch of daisies from beside the highway. Sing them a song. Draw them a picture. Send them an e-mail poem. Make them a bowl of soup. Go skip rocks together on your local body of water.
Just a suggestion.

P.S. I love you all!!! And here's something to prove it:
Public Image Limited - Flowers of Romance (buy here)
Blancmange - That's Love, That It Is (buy here)
Age of Chance - Kiss (bid here for old skool vinyl)
Julian Cope - The Greatness & Perfection of Love (buy here)
Hedwig & The Angry Inch - The Origin of Love (buy here or e-here)

P.P.S. You've not seen Hedwig?? Oh, you must, it's lovely. Curl up with someone/something you hold dear, watch it, and weep for all that is beautiful and painful.
P.P.P.S. Visions of Vegas coming soon...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

And When She Cries Diva, He's An Angel

Dana International just friended me on myspace. I couldn't be happier...

Oh, Eurovision 1998 - my heart sings...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I Will Not Buy This Record, It Is Scratched

Yes, this week Contrast Podcast takes us back to the age of vinyl as contributors dig up their favourite 45s and offer them up with a good side order of nostalgia. And what luscious nuggets! 'Public Image' by PiL - one of FiL's all-time favourites!! Aztec Camera's 'Oblivious!! Oh my, I'm hyperventialting

For all you youngsters in the audience, before them megabytes and shiny cee-deez came along, music often came in the form of plastic discs etched with grooves that were played on contraptions called gramophones with needles and large trumpets. Indeed, listening to music in those days was a cumbersome and dangerous process requiring complex problem-solving skills to decide whether to play one's vinyl platter at thirty-three or forty-five revolutions per minute. Getting it wrong often meant deep puncture wounds from the needles or even decapitation from over-rotating records flying through the air. You kids don't know how easy you have it...

But I digress. As usual, you can download the podcast from here, or subscribe using this digital, analog-free feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.

And now let's cue up the record, shall we?

(00:00) Scott Walker - Jackie
Tim from The face of today
(03:47) Jenny Lewis - Paradise
Eric Metronome
(07:33) Booker T. and the M.G.’s - Green Onions
Deek from Pod of Funk
(11:48) Marlena Shaw - California soul
Tim from The Daily Growl
(15:09) Nino Tempo & April Stevens - Deep Purple
Steve from Domino Rally
(18:39) The Spare Blushes - Um, yeah, whatever
Tristesse from And before the first kiss
(23:48) Superchunk - Mower
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(28:21) Screaming Lord Sutch - Jack the Ripper
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(31:25) Dickie Goodman - Mr Jaws
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(34:03) Stories - Brother Louie
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(38:25) Leatherface - Little white god
Jamie from The Run Out Groove
(42:53) Subway Sect - Ambition
FiL from Pogoagogo
(46:59) Pale Fountains - Something on my mind
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(50:25) Aztec Camera - Oblivious
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(54:20) Frank Sinatra - All my tomorrows
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(58:20) PiL - Public Image
SAS Radio

As mentioned in a recent post, I've only just managed to hook up a rickety old turntable to my PC, and the vinyl I have on hand is limited. However, I do have a couple more ripped-from vinyl tracks, both played at 45rpm that were in the running:

Carter USM - Sheriff Fatman (buy here

Ah, memories of Jim Bob and Fruitbat, two skinny blokes with squiffy hair and cycling togs onstage at the Cambridge Corn Exchange, circa 1992. And I once saw John 'Fat Bastard' Beast at Hammersmith Tube Station. But I digress - ripped (imperfectly) from the 1989 12-inch single. Oh, and USM stands for 'Unstoppable Sex Machine.'

Birdland - Paradise (buy here for one lousy US penny!!)

Birdland raged hard for about a year between 1989 and 1990. They were meteoric, carving a white-hot trail through the night sky with a clutch of fantastic songs and electric live shows. Indeed, they inspired the Manic Street Preachers to take up arms. But alas, like the shooting stars they were, they fell back down to earth and drowned in a sea of grunge, mismanagement, and a poor first album. 'Paradise' was the band's second single, and is ripped here from the 1989 12-inch released by Lazy Records.

And for those of you Hungarians wanting English lessons, I point you here.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Of Seagulls, Crockett, and Mullets

I ran so far away...

Dearest Friends, we had a party on Saturday night. But the strangest thing happened... You see, as we were getting ready, there was a slight, yet perceptible slip in the temporal continuuum and all of a sudden the calendar had spun back twenty years or so.

The fridge filled itself with wine coolers and jugs of Fuzzy Navels appeared on the kitchen table.

Sheena Easton perched on our mantlepiece and Billy Idol on our bathroom door.

Then the guests started to arrive. Joan Collins. Jennifer Beales from Flashdance. Some New Wave dude in a skinny tie. Melanie Griffiths out of Working Girl. A couple of chicks looking for an aerobics class. A cop calling himself Detective Sonny Crockett. And two mullets. Most peculiar.

Then, lo and behold, who should appear one of the Flock of Seagulls. It's true. Though the air was hazy wth nostalgia, we managed to snap a fuzzy piccie of him, hanging out with Joan. Look up top, FiL tells no lies!

And the stere-ere-ereo played some fine old tuneage. Here, have a listen:

Animotion - Obsession (buy here)
Big Country - Fields of Fire (buy here)
The Jam - Town Called Malice (buy here)
Ministry - Effigy (buy here)
Musical Youth - Pass the Dutchie (buy here)
Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield (buy here)
X - Breathless (buy here)

But when we woke up on Sunday morning, it was once again 2007, and all we had left from our time shift were empty wine cooler bottles and electric dreams.

Friday, February 02, 2007

La Vie En Rose

This afternoon I strolled over to Granville Island on my lunch hour. While it was a bit nippy, the fog of the past few days and this morning's rime had been dispersed by a gentle sun. Light clouds ambled across a pale-blue sky.

My errands complete and my lunch munched, I drifted past the plaza outside of La Baguette et l'Echalote, a rather yummy bakery. One of the Island's regular buskers, a lean, dapper, bespectacled guitarist/chanteur, was singing "La Vie En Rose." As his calm strumming and evocative voice floated en air, a young couple took to the empty plaza and began to dance.

They stood face-to-face. He put one hand on her lower back, she put one of hers on his shoulder. Their other hands clasped outstretched. He was clad in a Goretex raincoat with a beanie jammed down tightly on his head. She wore jeans, thick-rimmed glasses, and clumpy approach shoes. They were not particularly good dancers. But as they moved uncertainly around the empty plaza, to me they seemed to glide. They were in love, and for the briefest of interludes I was caught in that sweet, crystallized moment.

This has lingered with me all day, and I wanted to share it with you, Dear Friends.

Edith Piaf - La Vie En Rose (buy here)
Charles Aznavour - The Old-Fashioned Way (buy here)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Adult Entertainment

Vegas really has it all...

WARNING: The following post contains mature subject matter, coarse language, and situations of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised. OK, with that out of the way...

Dearest Friends, I have just returned from four days in that modern Sodom & Gommorrah, Las Vegas. And let me tell you that it is indeed a city steeped in sin. Indeed, I feared that my sudden reintroduction to the healthy, wholesome life back home would result in explosive moral decompression. But thankfully I was saved from such fate by this week's Contrast Podcast. Yes, if it hadn't been for the buffer of sleaze provided by this week's 'X-Rated' theme, things could have been messy...

Without any further ado (coz I can hear you panting like dogs in heat), let me direct you to the pot o' sleaze cooked up by Raunchy Tristesse and stirred enthusiastically by Mucky Tim. You can download this filth directly from here, or you can satisfy your urges on a regular basis by subscribing to the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.

(00:39) Cars Can Be Blue - Dirty Song
Sid from Too Much Rock
(02:16) Consolidated with the Yeastie Girls - You suck
Tristesse from And before the first kiss
(07:13) Gert Wilden - Follow me
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(10:45) Monty Python - Sit on my face
Lyle from Mentok the Mindtaker
(12:19) Kiss - Let’s put the X in sex
Taylor from T-Sides
(16:52) N.W.A. - Straight outta Compton
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(21:19) 101 Strings Orchestra - I got it bad & that ain’t good
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(25:20) Madonna - Where life begins
Matt from Earfarm
(31:14) Super Furry Animals - The man don’t give a fuck
Tutu Vicar from The world won’t listen
(36:06) Mr Bungle - Squeeze me macaroni
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(40:57) Nirvana - Wet vagina
Waffles from Waffles radio
(44:52) Billy Bragg - Cindy of 1000 lives
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(49:13) Frank Zappa & The Mothers - Dinah Moe Humm
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(55:49) Lesbians on Ecstacy - Pleasureprincipal
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:20) Naomi Hall - Until I drown
SAS Radio
(01:05:35) Tenacious D - Fuck her gently
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

At the risk of incriminating myself, let me say that I had an embarrasment of x-rated songs to choose from. See? I'm really a bad FiL, a dirty FiL, who needs to be punished. So send the kids out of the room and have a listen to these heavy breathers:

20 Fingers - Short Dick Man (buy here)
Somewhat annoying, yet oddly compelling choon guaranteed to make most men out there feel completely inadequate.

IDC - Power Slut Kiss [Har Mar Superstar vs Prince] (visit here)
Not as explicit as the rest of the stuff on offer, but this is a deliciously sexy mashup. Squeeze it out, smear it all over your gyrating body, and see what happens.

Bimbo Boy - I'll Make You Come (download more here)
Cheezy, Euro-deesco pap with mondo rauncho lyrics from gay Swedish club icon Dennis Svedberg Hellström. Yes, I also think "Bimbo Boy" is a much better name.

Berlin - Sex (I'm A...) (buy here or e-here)
Miss Terri Nunn was single-handedly responsible for an outbreak of hairy palms amongst teenage lads during the 1980s.

Black Flag - Slip It In (buy here or e-here)
Hardcore in both senses of the word.
Jane (nee Wayne) County is one of my faaavourite transsexual divas, second only to the lovely Dana International of Eurovision fame. But Jane does rock harder.
Next week's CP theme is 'My Favourite 45,' so dust off your old vinyl, plug the phonograph into the PC, and rip your favourite single for submission. Full details on how to submit (yes, Mistress, whip me, beat me, teach me how to love... Oops, sorry, got a little distracted there) can be found right over here.
Vegas report coming soon...