Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Feeling Lusty

Taken from this lavvy wall

This week Contrast Podcast ventures into the realm of mortal sin by inviting us all to wade waist-deep in a steaming, roiling pool of thick, viscous, musical... LUUUST!!!

*Pant, pant, drool, quiver*

Ahem. Er, I'd best make this very quick, lest it get messy. Download the podcast here and prepared to get all hot 'n' bothered. Just have a cold shower running on standby, and watch out for the two dirty old men right at the beginning. Oh, and I found the tracklisting written up on the wall of a public lavatory:

(00:00) Intro from Mr G. Letch & Mr A. Thrub

(01:42) Betty Boo - Close the door
Tim from The face of today

(05:06) Betty Davis - Anti love song
Chris from

(09:51) She wants revenge - Tear you apart
Linda from Speed of dark

(15:16) Scraping foetus off the wheel - Lust for death
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away

(18:43) Gang of Four - Damaged goods
Sid from Too Much Rock

(22:28) The Jam - Start! (live)
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

(25:10) Amy Rigby - You get to me
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

(28:14) The Long Blondes - Lust in the movies
FiL from Pogoagogo

(31:27) Art Brut - Good weekend
Rick from Are you embarassed easily?

(34:39) Leon Haywood - I wanna do something freaky to you
Dirk from Sexy Loser

(41:47) Ultra Vivid Scene - Tar, iodine, blood and lust
Conrad from White Car Records

(44:42) Julian Cope - Eve’s volcano
Mark from Cinema du Lyon

(49:31) R.E.M. - Tounge
James from Jamesisadork

(53:45) Bruce Cockburn - Bone in my ear
Natalie from Mini-obs

(57:38) Prince - Sex temptation lust
Ross from Just gimme indie rock

You know, my choice (Lust in the Movies by The Long Blondes) somehow got me musing on pop cultcha dames I'd lusted after at one point or another. So, at the risk of totally humiliating myself, here's an abbreviated, annotated, and chronological catalogue of FiL's past lusts:

1) Catwoman. Yes, I know, there have been soooo many, y'all are dying to know which one tickled my fancy. Well, it was Julie Newmar in the glorious (sorry Mentok) sixties TV version. Yep, she was my first crush at around the precocious age six. Rrrrrroooowww!!

Link Wray - Batman Theme (buy here or e-here)

2) Marie Osmond. Yes, I religiously watched the Donny & Marie Show as a bairn. My Marie - that hair! Those chipmunk cheeks! Those dresses!! Embarrassing to think of it now, but back then, I'd be her little bit of country or rock 'n' roll or whatever.

But I confess: her teeth, huge and white like marble headstones, creeped me out. So much so that one day I took a pin to my theretofore sacred Donny & Marie LP sleeve and punched cavities in her toothy Mormon grin. It was then I knew we were not meant to be.

Donny & Marie Osmond
- A Little Bit Country (buy here)

3) Princess Leia. Oh man, those hair buns... But by the time she started getting all galactic with Han Solo, I was so over her.

Meco - Star Wars Theme (buy here)

4) Olivia Newton-John. Er, um, I blame circumstances beyond my control. Physical came out around the time puberty hit. My hormones were all over the place.

Olivia Newton-John - Physical (buy here)

But these days I far prefer this version:

Revolting Cocks
- (Let's Get) Physical (buy here)

5) Siouxsie Sioux. I am your humble servant, O my Goth Queen...

Siouxsie & The Banshees - Dazzle (buy here)

6) Kate Bush. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. However, I wasn't as smitten as one of my Dearest Friends was. Indeed, there was a high school French teacher at our school who bore an uncanny resemblance to the lushly maned warbler, much to his delight and anguish.

Kate Bush - Sat In Your Lap (buy here)

7) L7. All of them. In a vat of baked beans, please.

L7 - Fast and Frightening (buy here )

8) PJ Harvey. This woman is simply amazing in every way. Makes my heart go thrub, thrub, thrub...

PJ Harvey - Sheela Na Gig (buy here)

9) Audrey Hepburn. I don't much fawn over movie stars, but Audrey, oh my! Such grace, such style, such dignity. And she rode a Vespa. Le sigh. Le swoon.

Audrey Hepburn - Moon River (buy here)

I think that's what Eminem would call "cleanin' out my closet." Alright Dearest Friends, now it's your turn. Which slebs of screen, stage, or sound did/do you lust after??