Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Trying To Tell Me Something

The universe is trying to tell me something.

It's been hectic around here.

First there is the general underlay of family life. Little Man, Darling Daughter, and all of their demands, both the delightful and drudgeful.

Then the flow of work. Eminently swimmable, but nevertheless requiring a constant stroke.

Then mother. I'm off this evening again to New York for five days to help her out. And though I'm trying to stay calm, I'm tight and tense about what barbs might be flung my way.

Then Dearest Wife, with whom, thanks to the aforementioned underlay and her own workflow, it has been ages since I've had a proper talk. I mean, a real howyadoin', howmidoin', heart-to-heart, ebb-and-floww conversation.

Then my tendency to squeeze out sleep to squeeze in the fun stuff, such as preparing Contrast Podcast episodes for this week and (as I'll be away) next week.

Then this morning. Scrambling to leave the house. A testy quip from Dearest Wife about priorities, formed of words that I imagined (unfairly? fairly?) might have flowed from Mother's mouth. A quip that prompted a surge of anger that I suppressed. It festered quickly.

Into the car. A totally ill-judged left turn on my part (I thought she was stopping), one that take away the stress and the anger I would never have made. A collision - thankfully no-one hurt, apart from my detached front bumper, the front of my unfortunate crash-mate's CRV, her nerves, my ego. Details exchanged, cars drive away, insurance company informed, premium rises.

Yes, the universe is trying to tell me something.

Slow down. Anger is not an energy (apologies to Mr John Lydon). It is a destructive emotion. Refocus. On yourself. On those around you. Show them all --yes, yourself too-- compassion. Sort it out.

Yes, Universe, I'm listening. And trying to learn.

See you all sometime next week, Dearest Friends.

Buzzcocks - Wake Up Call (buy here or e-here)
The Equators - Learn My Lesson (buy e-here)