A Punky Christmas Party

Santa & The Klawz, NP-34 Research Station, 1/12/06

Well, the Christmas frenzy has well and truly started, but so far I've managed to steer calmly through the froth. I do apologize if this sounds a bit smug, but methinks I've already done about 90% of my gift shopping. Yep, thank you llbean.com, amazon.com, chapters.com and (Dearest Wife, avert your eyes RIGHT NOW unless you want to spoil the surprise) amazingly funky local boutique LouLou Luv! LouLou's is a wonderful girly-girl place, stuffed to the gills with fantastic handbags and jewellery. The shop itself has a real fin-de-siecle a Paris vibe and their window displays are always extraordinary. Currently they have two stunning Christmas trees fashioned out of sparkly silver and gold evening clutch bags. Ho Ho Ho & Oh La La!!

I am particularly thrilled that I managed to limit my exposure to The Dreaded Mall. Indeed, I made but one brief foray into the roiling waters of Oakridge Shopping Centre, and managed to escape before being crushed by a combination of piped Yuletide muzak, overheated and recycled air, zombie-shopper hordes, and enormously bloated decorations (Look out! It's a six-foot-wide velvet bow!!). As I emerged (empty-handed, I might add) into the refreshingly cold outside air, I had a brief, frightening flashback to one December night a couple of years back in London...

It was either the penultimate or final shopping day before Christmas and I was sadly behind on my shopping owing to a maniacal year-end workload. In desperation I went that evening to the city's premier shopping strip, Oxford Street, to hit the major department stores: John Lewis, Selfridges, Debenhams, House of Fraser.

I found myself in hell on earth. Wall-to-wall bodies. Tortuous check-out queues. Displays picked clean. Packed, sweaty Tube trains.

I can't remember what all I bought. But I do recall feeling despondent that I hadn't been able to put my heart into it, that I had spent a lot just for the sake of buying, that I had let Christmas become an automated, compulsive duty.

And so, Dearest Friends, let me give to you the second of my festive mixes, one which I hope will give you the stamina, courage, and bolshiness to muscle your way through all the shite and aggro of the season. I tell you, these are the tunes that Santa, his reindeer, and the elves are pogoing and slamming to in the North Pole mosh pit. Merry effing Xmas to you all - I mean it, maaaan!!

The Vandals - Oi to the World (buy here or e-here)
The Damned - There Ain't No Sanity Clause (buy here)
The Dickies - Silent Night (buy here)
Sloppy Seconds - Hooray for Santa Claus! (buy here or e-here)
Crucial Youth - Santa is Coming (buy here or e-here)
Peter & The Test Tube Babies - I'm Getting Pissed for Christmas (buy here or e-here)
The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) (buy here)
Celibate Rifles - Merry Xmas Blues (buy here)
The Jet Boys - Merry Xmas, Fuck You (buy here or e-here)

And for Dearest Liz, who goes for this song most every way it's dished up: The Revolvers - Last Christmas (buy here)