Thursday, February 01, 2007

Adult Entertainment

Vegas really has it all...

WARNING: The following post contains mature subject matter, coarse language, and situations of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised. OK, with that out of the way...

Dearest Friends, I have just returned from four days in that modern Sodom & Gommorrah, Las Vegas. And let me tell you that it is indeed a city steeped in sin. Indeed, I feared that my sudden reintroduction to the healthy, wholesome life back home would result in explosive moral decompression. But thankfully I was saved from such fate by this week's Contrast Podcast. Yes, if it hadn't been for the buffer of sleaze provided by this week's 'X-Rated' theme, things could have been messy...

Without any further ado (coz I can hear you panting like dogs in heat), let me direct you to the pot o' sleaze cooked up by Raunchy Tristesse and stirred enthusiastically by Mucky Tim. You can download this filth directly from here, or you can satisfy your urges on a regular basis by subscribing to the following RSS feed:

(00:39) Cars Can Be Blue - Dirty Song
Sid from Too Much Rock
(02:16) Consolidated with the Yeastie Girls - You suck
Tristesse from And before the first kiss
(07:13) Gert Wilden - Follow me
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(10:45) Monty Python - Sit on my face
Lyle from Mentok the Mindtaker
(12:19) Kiss - Let’s put the X in sex
Taylor from T-Sides
(16:52) N.W.A. - Straight outta Compton
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(21:19) 101 Strings Orchestra - I got it bad & that ain’t good
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(25:20) Madonna - Where life begins
Matt from Earfarm
(31:14) Super Furry Animals - The man don’t give a fuck
Tutu Vicar from The world won’t listen
(36:06) Mr Bungle - Squeeze me macaroni
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(40:57) Nirvana - Wet vagina
Waffles from Waffles radio
(44:52) Billy Bragg - Cindy of 1000 lives
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(49:13) Frank Zappa & The Mothers - Dinah Moe Humm
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(55:49) Lesbians on Ecstacy - Pleasureprincipal
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:20) Naomi Hall - Until I drown
SAS Radio
(01:05:35) Tenacious D - Fuck her gently
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

At the risk of incriminating myself, let me say that I had an embarrasment of x-rated songs to choose from. See? I'm really a bad FiL, a dirty FiL, who needs to be punished. So send the kids out of the room and have a listen to these heavy breathers:

20 Fingers - Short Dick Man (buy here)
Somewhat annoying, yet oddly compelling choon guaranteed to make most men out there feel completely inadequate.

IDC - Power Slut Kiss [Har Mar Superstar vs Prince] (visit here)
Not as explicit as the rest of the stuff on offer, but this is a deliciously sexy mashup. Squeeze it out, smear it all over your gyrating body, and see what happens.

Bimbo Boy - I'll Make You Come (download more here)
Cheezy, Euro-deesco pap with mondo rauncho lyrics from gay Swedish club icon Dennis Svedberg Hellström. Yes, I also think "Bimbo Boy" is a much better name.

Berlin - Sex (I'm A...) (buy here or e-here)
Miss Terri Nunn was single-handedly responsible for an outbreak of hairy palms amongst teenage lads during the 1980s.

Black Flag - Slip It In (buy here or e-here)
Hardcore in both senses of the word.
Jane (nee Wayne) County is one of my faaavourite transsexual divas, second only to the lovely Dana International of Eurovision fame. But Jane does rock harder.
Next week's CP theme is 'My Favourite 45,' so dust off your old vinyl, plug the phonograph into the PC, and rip your favourite single for submission. Full details on how to submit (yes, Mistress, whip me, beat me, teach me how to love... Oops, sorry, got a little distracted there) can be found right over here.
Vegas report coming soon...


JC said...

You need help. And quickly....

mjrc said...

ah, yes, dear fil is in dire need of some kind of help, the trick will be figuring out what kind will be most beneficial . . . ;-)

oh my, i loved your intro--it was reminiscent of one you did last year, am i remembering that correctly? slime radio and all?

FiL said...

Dearest JC: You are SO right...

Dearest Marcy: Indeed, this is the second SLIME public service announcement. SLIME and I are flattered that you remembered! Only then they were Stop Loud, Intolerable Music Everywhere. However the acronym is spelled, they make Topper Gore look like Lindsay Lohan.

And I do need help - off to have a cold shower with Barbara Streisand cranked up on the transistor...

Tim Young said...

The comment on the CP site that FiL's middle name is 'th' has to sum him up perfectly ;)

Crash Calloway said...

Oh yes. That 'submit' business is particularly fine.

Rachel said...

Oh I found this all terribly amusing, I can't wait to read the Vegas report.

Wayne County & The Electric Chair is freaking awesome in an edgy blues way.

Carry on with the spanking.

Taylor said...

oh wow, good call on "Short Dick Man"... I can't believe no one chose that!

mjrc said...

i'm so darn dense sometimes. i just got the "fil's middle name is th" joke. ha ha! good one, crash. : )