Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Trying To Tell Me Something


The universe is trying to tell me something.

It's been hectic around here.

First there is the general underlay of family life. Little Man, Darling Daughter, and all of their demands, both the delightful and drudgeful.

Then the flow of work. Eminently swimmable, but nevertheless requiring a constant stroke.

Then mother. I'm off this evening again to New York for five days to help her out. And though I'm trying to stay calm, I'm tight and tense about what barbs might be flung my way.

Then Dearest Wife, with whom, thanks to the aforementioned underlay and her own workflow, it has been ages since I've had a proper talk. I mean, a real howyadoin', howmidoin', heart-to-heart, ebb-and-floww conversation.

Then my tendency to squeeze out sleep to squeeze in the fun stuff, such as preparing Contrast Podcast episodes for this week and (as I'll be away) next week.

Then this morning. Scrambling to leave the house. A testy quip from Dearest Wife about priorities, formed of words that I imagined (unfairly? fairly?) might have flowed from Mother's mouth. A quip that prompted a surge of anger that I suppressed. It festered quickly.

Into the car. A totally ill-judged left turn on my part (I thought she was stopping), one that take away the stress and the anger I would never have made. A collision - thankfully no-one hurt, apart from my detached front bumper, the front of my unfortunate crash-mate's CRV, her nerves, my ego. Details exchanged, cars drive away, insurance company informed, premium rises.

Yes, the universe is trying to tell me something.

Slow down. Anger is not an energy (apologies to Mr John Lydon). It is a destructive emotion. Refocus. On yourself. On those around you. Show them all --yes, yourself too-- compassion. Sort it out.

Yes, Universe, I'm listening. And trying to learn.

See you all sometime next week, Dearest Friends.

Buzzcocks - Wake Up Call (buy here or e-here)
The Equators - Learn My Lesson (buy e-here)

10 comments:

Just a Girl said...

Sounds as though you all need some Island time.


Good that you are okay after the crash and bang though.

Natsthename said...

GLad to hear there were no injuries, aside from the vehicles and egos.

See you next week, indeed!

T&F@tlh said...

FiLLLLLLLLL,

We love you anyway. Good luck in NY.

Sean Carmody said...

I've had the priorities conversation a couple of times myself, so I can relate to that. No vehicular dings as yet though...probably a good thing I commute on the train!

Anyway: in with anger, out with lurve!

Tim Young said...

I'd blame Tim and his flippin' podcast for keeping you up late.

Oh .. that's me isn't it.

Don't blame me.

:)

Mentok said...

If you keep up this nonsense, I'll just have to drive out there and knock some sense into you ;-)

Good luck in NY.

mjrc said...

breathing deeply . . . sending calm energy . . . empathizing about that crash . . . blaming tim . . . whoops! how did that get in there??

Greer said...

I'm so glad the crash wasn't worse, and that you are OK.

I like that last part your wrote, especially about showing yourself compassion... very important!

I hope the trip is going smoothly :).

FiL said...

Dearest JaG: Yes, Island Time would be nice, and I will be getting some soon. But I don't think it'll be sufficient...

Dearest Nats: Thanks. Ego has yet to recover.

Dearest T: Thanks. That's good to know.

Dearest Stumbo: Indeed, out with anger. But I ain't seeing no lurve yet. Sigh.

Dearest Tim: Nope, no-one to blame but myself.

Dearest Mentok: Somehow methinks you're going to do that anyway, and I'm looking forward to it.

Dearest Marcy: Thanks. But I repeat - mea culpa.

Dearest Greer: The trip went, um, OK. Thanks for your wishes - I'm trying to take my own medicine, but sometimes it ain't easy to get down...

China said...

Oh lord, I hope things have been getting sorted out with the car/Mother's Mouth/well-being?

When life isn't great, be an optimist and remind yourself that things could always be worse. :)

Hope you're well, Fil.