Tuesday, November 11, 2008

God What A Racket!

FiL, post-GWAR

How to tell if you're at a GWAR concert at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver:
  1. Despite a widely advertised smoking ban, a fug of pot smoke hangs over the audience, more pungent than you would find at any hippyfest.

  2. There are large demons onstage with instruments, musical and other.

  3. They play screamingly fast & loud thrash metal with a satirical (if juvenile) edge.

  4. The show revolves around a storyline that pits GWAR against various contenders for the Intergalactic Wrestling Championship Belt.

  5. Within the space of fifteen minutes two of the contenders, Barack Obama and John McCain, are beheaded and flayed/disemboweled, respectively.

  6. As a direct result of point 5 (supra), you are covered from head to toe in blood. Plus you get some in your mouth because you’re laughing.

  7. You find yourself singing along to “Bring Back The Bomb.”

  8. You keep tripping over shoes lost in the mosh pit, and you’re grateful for your eight-hole Doc Martens.

  9. The nice people who fling you into the mosh pit are only too glad to pick you up when you fall. They even offer you their joints, which you have to decline on account that you need to drive home.

  10. You can’t wait until GWAR come back next year on their 25th anniversary tour.

GWAR - Bring Back The Bomb (buy here)


Natsthename said...

Well, you appear to have no missing parts, so that's a relief!

Rock on, FiL!

Colin said...

Nice post-GWAR tan FiL!

(word verification is 'nesse'... no joke!)

Girl said...

You are a bloody mess! :D

25 years? Whoa.

FiL said...

Dearest Nats, for a brief while I was a bit concerned by a few subsequent aches & pains, but it appears that I am indeed intact!

Many thanks, Dearest Colin! I was hoping for the budget paint-on Cyprus holiday look. Actually, I think that's the colour you get when you're squirted in the face first by blood, then by, erm, green space juice. Or something. At least Oderus didn't spray anything from the giant cuttlefish between his legs...

Indeed, Dearest JaG, I was surprised to hear they've been doing the schtick for nearly a quarter century!!!

Anonymous said...

how to tell if you are at a gwar concert in the u.k,
1. go the venue
2. council have banned it
3. go home
this was a few years ago but i still hate the city council for this, although they have excelled themselves with other truly dumb decisions since to ensure i know i'm in the right

FiL said...

Dearest Anonymous, that really takes the biscuit. I'm sure if you lobbied Oderus & friends they'd be happy to come over and sort out the council for you. With an axe.