Saturday, November 14, 2009

Tra La La La La I'm Not Listening



Oh, for fuck's sake. I know I've been preoccupied with this 'n' that as of late (children - can't you put them on autopilot or something??), but I wasn't expecting this quite so soon. No, not at all. You see, I was starting to come to grips with the falling leaves and the falling temperatures and the early falling of darkness. I was falling into Fall. But just as I thought I had the fall under control, I was mugged. Most brutally and painfully.

Little Man & I had popped into our local Shoppers Drug Mart (yes folks, it's true, here in laid-back Vancouver we have retail stores selling weed, shrooms, and skag on open shelves) to pick up some codeine tabs for Dearest Wife and her irrepressible bronchitis cough. As we wended our way through aisles of pomade, unguent, powders and carbolic soap, my gaze was wrenched by a display of Toffifee boxes with smiling, rosy-cheeked fat men in red suits.

OMFG! IT'S STARTED!! THEY'RE SELLING CHRISTMAS!! ALREADY!!!

As I reeled in amazement, I was sucker-punched in the ears by a mawkishly mewled version of that bane of Yuletide music: Last Christmas. To make it worse, it was some dreadful cover version - The Cheetah Girls, I think. It were 'orrible, it were.

Sigh. It all seems so desperate, so tawdry: c'mon folks, get into the Chrimbo spirit! Do your bit to prop up global capitalism! Spend spend SPEND your way outta recession! Here, start with this delicious Toffifee...

And THAT song!! Argh!! Truth be told, there are some fine versions of it out there, which I suppose means that the tune itself has some merit. Shame Messrs Ridgeway and Michaels butchered it from the get go. Here, have a listen to these (if you've not been round here for Xmas before), whack one or two on your Xmas partee playlist, and watch Aunt Edna whizz it up:

Xmas Massacre - Last Christmas (buy e-here)
A pretty ripping take by a mysterious Norwegian ska-punk outfit

The Revolvers - Last Christmas (dunno where you can get it, but it looks like this)
Best. Version. Ever. Even if it's by some superannuated German punks.

Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas (buy here or e-here)
We wish you an emo Christmas...

Sigh again. Christmas has always been something I prefer far more in theory than in practice...

12 comments:

Natsthename said...

Not with the MUSIC already!!! AAAAAACK!

Anonymous said...

you are the first blog i've encountered who has made a Christmas post, i suggest you are part of the conspiracy and may well be in the pay of Santa (or Walmart) and are partially responsible for starting the hype and consumerism early, what do you say to that?
A.J

Tricia said...

Can definitely do without a motion activated bass singing 'Twas the night before Christmas' when I am shopping for some shampoo in early November.

Mentok said...

Wow! Thanks for these. I think these tunes may single-handedly save my sanity this Christmas.

roc said...

Xmas Massacre version sounds great. thanks. I was ready for Christmas music last month. Thats the only part of the holiday I enjoy.

abc said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB-dMFjkh5A
I think you need to hear that. Paul and Storm's "The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song".

mjrc said...

i love that revolvers take on last christmas, and i guess i must have gotten it from you? i'll give you the credit regardless!

Greer said...

I'm downloading these now but I refuse to listen until Dec 1st :). They'll be lifesavers then.

mike said...

Jimmy Eat World's version is the definitive one. Love it.

FiL said...

Sigh. Yes Dearest Nats, it really was that early...

Au contraire, AJ, I felt it was necessary to mount a defense, seeing as the onslaught had started so early.

Dearest Tricia, it's betterthan an Obama Chia Pet...

Ah, glad to be of service, Dearest Mentok!

Hi Roc, it does make one want to skank like the Dickens, doesn't it??

FiL said...

Hi Anonymous! Very appropriate...

Dearest Marcy, I think you had mentioned that you found it chez moi. You are most welcome!!

Dearest Greer, I hope they served their purpose, especially now that we're only two days away...

Hi Mike. I'm tending towards the Xmas Massacre versh as the best to date. But then I'm a sucker for a ska-punk beat.