Computer Love

Dearest Friends, I'm so happy! What a story I have for you! But it's not really mine to tell. And you may already have heard about it over at Dearest Vinyl Villain's. So if you have, hold on to that warm, fuzzy feeling and feel free to skip on down to the celebratory tunes below.

So, that story. It's about e-boy meets e-girl in Blogtopia, then real boy meets real girl, in Utopia. Only with the Isle of Man standing in as proxy for Utopia. It's got everything: tea, twee, goth, and, erm, (sea) froth. And if it doesn't warm at least one of the cockles of your heart, then I weep for you.

So open yourself to joy. Then read about it here and here, and afterwards go here and listen starting at 03:04. Finally, pour yourself a bevvy of your choice and toast e-boy & e-girl while listening to these:

The Virgin Prunes - Pagan Love Song (buy here or e-here)
Thee Headcoatees - Ca Plane Pour Moi (buy here or e-here)
The Celibate Rifles - Let's Get Married (buy here or e-here)
Laurel Aitken - Rudi Got Married (buy here or e-here)
The King Khan & BBQ Show - Love You So (buy here or e-here)
The Cramps - Thee Most Exalted Potentate of Love (buy here or e-here)
Heavenly - I Fell In Love Last Night (buy here or e-here)
Pia Fraus -The End Of Time And Space Like We Used To Know It Is After You Have Finished Your Tea Approximately At 5:07 pm (buy here or e-here)
David Bowie - Modern Love (buy here or e-here)
Kraftwerk - Computer Love (buy here or e-here)

Cover Me, I'm Going In

Ah, this week's Contrast Podcast is going to be a real treat, I can feel it in my bones. After months of cajoling by her admirers, Liz from The Roaring Machine has joined the CP posse with a cracking theme. The challenge she set was to come up with a cover version that outshines the original song it treats, and our contributors have risen to the task in splendid fashion. I have a story to tell you about my choice, so let me husband my words: download the 'cast here, or plug in via this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast. Oh, and listen for the astoundingly special announcement in one of the intros (not mine). Need further enticement? How about The Wedding Present, The Slits, Linda Ronstadt, Magazine? You like?? Well, they're all featured.

This week was a bit of a toughie; I've got plenty of ace cover versions, but picking ones better than the originals was a true challenge. "Just Like Heaven?" Fantastic song by The Cure, equally groovy, if totally different, cover by Dinosaur Jr. "Running Up That Hill?" A lovely cover by Placebo. "Hounds of Love?" The Futureheads storm it comprehensively. But my heart will not allow either to be actually better than the originals by my Dearest Kate Bush.

In the end, it was Shonen Knife's "Ramones-Meets-An-Andrew-Sister-In-A-Tokyo-Dive" version of the Carpenters' soppingly drippy "Top Of The World" that I chose. There were other equally worthy candidates, I'll admit. But this one had the force of memories on its side. And here's why:

Rewind the clock almost six years and you'll find FiL and his Dearest Wife on board the spartanly tacky MS Queen, somewhere between Fuling and Chongqing on the Yangtze River. We had seized the In-Laws' offer of child care for 18-month-old Darling Daughter and were exhilarated to be navigating the Three Gorges. We sailed past soaring, sheer cliffs clinging to which we could plainly see the coffins suspended on high by the Ba people some 2,500 years eariler. We gasped at the impossible peaks. We marvelled at the sprawling industrial plants that punctuated the shoreline at regular intervals. We explored Fengdu, the mountainside city of ghosts whose temples were a representation of Hell. And we did all this with the dreadful knowledge that in two years time most of what we were seeing would be gone, submerged by the rising Yangtze waters, dammed in the name of progress by the Three Gorges project.

Nocturnal entertainment on board the MS Queen was limited. So it was with great interest that Dearest Wife and I, along with Geordie Retirees Enid and George, went along one evening after dinner to watch the karaoke competition. Of the 175 passengers on board, the vast majority were from Taiwan and Hong Kong, and it soon became clear that the event was geared towards them. There were many attempts at Canto-pop crooning, and one intrepid lad even sang an acapella ode to the Yangtze that he had written just that very afternoon. At least that's what Hsiao Lung ("Little Dragon"), the closet-door-sightly-ajar gay waiter who had taken an instant shine to me upon boarding, told us it was.

After several Chongqing beers, George asked whether we should ask to give it a whirl. I was game; though I couldn't (and cannot) sing for toffee, I was intrigued by the cross-cultural possibilities. So Jackie (for that was the Anglicized name Hsiao Lung wished us to call him) brought to us the skimpy list of English songs available. George quickly chose "You Were Always On My Mind." I was having real trouble picking - no Ramones, no BilyBragg, no Pistols. Sigh. Then my eyes alighted upon "Top of the World," and I recalled not The Carpenters, but Shonen Knife. I had found my song.

So up I went on stage, and all eyes fixed on the gweilo. Well, apart from those of Dearest Wife, who was already cringing wth anticipated embarrassment. The music started, and I gave it real welly. In my mind I was covering the cover, but in reality I was cawing, croaking, prancing and hamming it up something fierce. Three minutes and a smattering of politely enthusiastic applause later, it was over. "I can't believe you did that," said Wife as I regained my seat.

When it came time for the awards, we were stunned to see George get first prize. But it was well deserved; his rendition of the Willie Nelson classic had revealed a first-rate crooner. Second prize went to the lad with he ode. Third prize went to one of the Canto-poppers. Then there was the joint third-place winner: Mr FiL. Whaaaat?? My gob was well and truly smacked. Had Jackie pulled strings for his unrequited crush? Was my barefaced cheek being rewarded? I don't know, but I do know that that night I was the joint-third-best karaoke singer on the Yangtze River. And look here, I have the bit of paper to prove it (name changed to throw off you stalkers). I owned that night.

We all celebrated in style. George and I drank loads more Chongqing and ended up, accompanied by Dearest Wife and Enid, on stage some time later with our arms around a bunch of fat Hong Kong men and their spouses singing karaoke to Michael Jackson's "We Are The World." My cross-cultural possibilities had become reality.

So there you have it. But what else did I consider?

Babes In Toyland - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here)
Like the Shonen Knife tune, this is another track off the If I Were A Carpenter, erm, tribute album. This one came close. So close. In fact, I think it's only the Yangtze karaoke angle that put Shonen Knife over the edge. Kat Bjelland & co. cover one of the kookiest 70s songs ever recorded. And given how kooky that decade was, that's really saying something.

The Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here)
OK, I couldn't resist: you really must hear the this, especially for the faux DJ intro and proto-Cher vocoder effects. FACT: There are 160 musicians lurking about this recording. And to forestall the tunespotters out there, this is actually the original cover, as the song was first done by Canadian prog-rockers (it ain't all Rush around here, folks) Klaatu. Oh, alright, here you go, just stop whining:

Klaatu - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (buy here or e-here)
Klaatu barada nikto! Please, Interstellar Policeman, charge them with crimes against taste, lock them up in a polychromatic prison, and throw away the key.

The Muffs - Kids In America (buy here or e-here)
Must...flee...Carpenters. Ah, that's better. Now don't get me wrong, I was partial to the synthy "dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum" of the original. And that 80s siren Kim Wilde had my hormones raging summat fierce. But in retrospect she was only a nice, middle-class, Home Counties girl singing about stuff she knew nothing of. But as for The Muffs, well, they're the real deal.

Animal & Rank Sinatra - Ebony and Ivory (buy here)
Oh, this one came so, so close as well. Animal & Rank chew up this floppy, insipid tune with their steely teeth, gargle the resulting sludge, then spew it back forth for your listening enjoyment. The grandest of Grand Guignol.

For next week, Tim is soliciting Cool Choons for Children. So round up your kid-friendly songs and fire them off! If you need instructions, have a gander here.

Tell Me Why

Questions... Always questions...

This week Contrast Podcast poses the query: Why? And the answers, though fewer than for past questions, are wonderfully diverse. As usual, feel free to download the podcast directly via this link, or else plonk the following RSS feed into whatever nifty blog subscription thingy you use: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

(00:00) They Might Be Giants - Why does the sun shine?
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:16) The Wedding Present - Why are you being so reasonable now?
Cinema du Lyon
(06:13) Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers - Why do fools fall in love?
FiL from Pogoagogo
(09:16) Neil Young - Tell me why
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(13:19) The Weather Prophets - Why does the rain?
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(17:19) Woody Guthrie - Why oh why?
Kate from The Glorious Hum
(20:58) The Offspring - Why don’t you get a job?
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(24:36) Billy Joel - Why should I worry?
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(28:19) The Pipettes - Why did you stay? (acoustic)
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(30:12) All Night Workers - Why don’t you smile?
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(32:50) The Beatles - Why don’t we do it in the road?
Waffles from Waffles Radio

Next week sees the debut of the lovely Liz and her well-oiled Roaring Machine on CP. Her proposed theme is guaranteed, I tell ya, to generate a most interesting podcast. So folks, dust off those cover versions that, in your esteemed opinions, are better than the original songs, whack them in an e-mail together with a recorded intro, and fire them off to Tim. You want more guidance? Well then, here you go.

Why Frankie Lymon seized my fancy so, I know not; doo-wop 'n' roll is not my preferred idiom. But when my ears and eyes alighted upon that ditty, I just knew it had to be. Anyway, as usual, I'd like to share with you those tunes that I also considered for submission this week:

The Fall - Why Are People Grudgeful? (buy here or e-here)
Even though you can never have too much Mark E. Smith, this was dismissed out of hand as he & the gang had only just put in a Contrast Podcast appearance the previous week.

Garbage - Why Do You Love Me? (buy here)
Oh Shirley, surely you don't need to ask...?

The Mooney Suzuki - Tell Me Why (buy here or e-here)
Hmm, dunno, I quite like this, but I kinda wish it was, y'know, greasier & grungier. And I'm also not so keen on the band's subsequent corporate tie-ins. But given that Buzzcocks are also selling cars, maybe I'm being a bit of a hypocrite. Argh, I've tied myself up in an FiLosophical knot.

Voices of Darmstadt

Someone had somehow wangled an invitation to a massive, all-night party at the Johann Wolfgang Goethe University of Frankfurt. As a result we were all drunk. Pished as the proverbial newts. So it made perfect sense, on that Saturday almost exactly twelve years ago, to pile into a photo booth as we waited at 4:30 AM on the platform at Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof for the first train of the day to take us back to Darmstadt. The carriages pulled up on time (of course), and we poured ourselves through the slam-door and into a compartment, snorting and guffawing and shrieking. Probably singing as well, but my memory is hazy.

Thirty minutes or perhaps an hour later we clanked into our station and I opened the door latch and clambered out. I recall thinking the step down was rather far, but it wasn't until all for of us had exited that we realized we had gotten off on the wrong side. We were not on the platform, but on the gravel bed between two sets of railroad tracks. Hooting with laughter, we climbed back through the wagon, rolled out the station, and made our grand entrance into the lobby of the Maritim Rhein-main Hotel. We collapsed on sofas, waiting for the breakfast buffet to open at 6:00 AM while being ignored by the fastidiously unifomed commercial flight crews gathering to be bussed to Frankfurt Airport. We subsequently fed, then slumbered.

Darmstadt...

To this day I do not understand why The Bank decided to fly its management trainees from London for a three-week incarceration at a faceless business hotel in a pokey satellite of Frankfurt. But imprisoned we were, and force-fed both German food (I remember begging the restaurant staff at the start of Week Two for a salad that swam not in a sea of cream dressing) and teachings on corporate finance. Our Overseer was an embittered, dipsomaniac, veteran banker of questionable mental stability. The lecturers, mostly flown in from London as well (go figure) were largely uninspiring; indeed, the one I recall best was a pompous little shit who looked uncannily like Leo Sayer with owl-eye spectacles.

To tell you the truth, I cannot recall one single thing of what I was supposed to learn during those twenty-one days. Not a sausage. Or wurst. What I do remember vividly are the handful of occasions -and there were only three or so- when we left the hotel and ran riot, simply to feel free.

For most of my comrades, I wager these few bacchanalia were simply a chance to let off steam, to take a break from forging their young careers. Of those in the photo above, three have moved on to positions of note within the financial world; a Managing Director in charge of Structured Credit, a Head of Client Relationship Management, a Vice-President Product Manager.

But look at the bloke on the left. Yes, that's me, your FiL. For me those drunken rushes were when the doubt that mildly nagged me during lectures on capital gains tax and bond duration turned into a raging voice that screamed:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?? THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE!!!

It took me another decade before I could screw up the courage to start listening to that voice. And I'm still figuring out what else it's trying to tell me.

The Offspring - Self Esteem(buy here)
There was a soundtrack to Darmstadt, provided by MTV Deutschland. And this song became a personal anthem.

Rednex - Cotton-Eye Joe(buy here, but get out of my shower if you do)
What MTV gaveth with one hand, with the other it tooketh away. This Swedish brain-drilling drivel would, without fail, always come on while I was having my morning shower and thus unable to reach the set.

Lassie Singers - Es Ist So Schade (buy here)
Maybe to apologize for repeated lashings of The Rednex, MTV Deutschland also offered me this wee gem: a hooky, catchy bit of breezy pop with the bitchiest lyrics you could ever hope to hear. Translated from the German, they go something like this: "It's such a shame / That you are how you are / That, unfortunately, you aren't someone else / That, unfortunately, you are just yourself."

Popchor Berlin - 4 My People (buy here or e-here)
I only recently discovered that Lassie Singer Almut Klotz later went on to form the outstanding collective, Popchor Berlin. Thrill as these Teutonic choristers take Missy Elliott to places she never thought she'd go.

Back On The Chain Gang

Can you hear the clanking? That's the sound of this week's Contrast Podcast contributors, working on the song-chain gang. And I'm most honoured to have done a stint as one of the rock-splitters.

It works like this: our ringleader, Tim, picks a song to start with, then passes the title on to the next person, who in turn picks another song that is related in some way, shape, or form to the original choice. That person's song then gets passed on to the next contributor, who chooses another tune related to the previous one. The process then repeats until Tim has himself a full podcast.

Understand? Yes? No? Either way, you can download the podcast here, or use the following RSS feed to subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Let's swing on the song chain:

(00:00) The Turtles - Happy Together
Tim from The Face of Today
(03:26) The Beastie Boys - Sure Shot
Matt from Earfarm
(07:10) Sister Machine Gun - Smash your radio
GD from Bitesize Bonus
(10:37) The Damned - Smash it up (part 2)
Sid from Too Much Rock
(13:46) The Upsetters - Party time (part 2)
The Duke of Straw from The Late Greats
(18:40) Puff Daddy & The Family - Victory
Taylor from T-sides
(23:54) Cut Chemist - Spinning Wheel
Murf from False45th
(29:22) Schrodinger’s Cat - Spin
Cindy from Adzuki Bean Stash
(33:03) Denovo - Digging in the dirt
Chip from Donewaiting
(39:48) Madness - Baggy Trousers
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(42:46) Pop Will Eat Itself - There’s a psychopath in my soup
FiL from Pogoagogo
(44:26) The Fall - There’s a ghost in my house
Simon from You Can Call Me Betty
(47:28) The Smithereens - House we used to live in
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(52:14) Jimi Hendrix - House of the rising sun
Waffles from Waffles Radio

There will be more chains in the future, and if you want to be a link in one, do let Tim know. Next week's podcast will ask 'Why?' So if you have a sng with that interrogative in its title, fire it off, along with a suitable intro. Have a peek here to understand how it all works.

I was asked to work off of Crash Calloway's selection, 'BaggyTrousers' by Madness. Before settling on the Psychopath /Madness link I considered a few other contenders, almost all of which were on the insanity tip. Hmm...

Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train (buy here)

Prince Buster - Madness (buy here)

Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy (buy here)

I did also fleetingly think of focusing on the 'baggy' bit, but I wasn't sure whether the world was ready for a Northside revival...

Northside - Take 5 (buy here or e-here)

And finally, coz I couldn't leave y'all hanging like that:

Pretenders - Back on the Chain Gang (buy here)

Sleep & Serendipity

Our boudoir. No, really...

Dear Readers, I'm pleased to say that this weekend yielded up a fair amount of that most precious commodity, sleep. Saturday was a bit go-go a go-go, partly due to the rather worrying discovery that the wooden frame underlying a marble-faced step down into our dining room was completely, mysteriously water-logged and rotting. Cue crowbar and hatchet.

But on Sunday morning, mirabilis dictu, the children were kind enough to let Dearest Wife and me have a lovely, snuggly lie-in. No alarm clocks, no appointments, just a comfy, warm duvet, us two snoozers, and (of course) Ginadawg under the covers at the foot of the bed, honking and snoring gently. Pure bliss.

The Damned - Love Song (buy here)
Just for you, Dearest Wife, here's a love song

And now for something completely different: let's hear it for serendipity. As I was driving home from work, I plugged in the empeethree playah only to find it had been playing in loop all day since I'd forgotten to turn it off in the morning. To my delight, what issued forth was a mgnificent set from a past podcast of the wonderful Colleen Crumbcake's Sandy Acres Soundlab on East Village Radio. The music kicked in at the tail end of 'Delicious Demon' by The Sugarcubes, then took us straght through to 'Legal Man' by B&S via the delights of The Ramones, Buzzcocks, Metric, Stereo Total, The Muffs, and The Style Council. I tell you, it was what the youngsters would call 'dope.' Indeed, I couldn't resist belting out "Lights go out, WAAWLS come tumblin' down" as the Pigmobile squealed along, all being right with the world...

If you don't listen to Dearest Colleen, then you are missing out on a weekly chunk of funkyshine. Go here, download the latest show, and your soul will be complete. In the meantime, here is a poor facsimile of what floated my boat:

Stereo Total - Holiday Innn (buy here or e-here)
Metric - Combat Baby (buy here)
Belle & Sebastian - Legal Man (buy here or e-here)

On The Wires Of My Nerves

What is going on?

I'm hurtling through this week, brain afire with the snap-snap-snap of electrified neurons. By sight I've found myself able to feel texture as well as see hue and shape. I was fascinated this afternoon by the irregular, bright green wrinkles of a kale leaf at Granvile Island market. Yesterday my breath was taken away by the luscious nap and sweeping line of a crimson velvet coat that I saw getting out of a car as I drove home from work.

Ideas have been frothing forth like the rich, foamy head on a pint of ale. Some are relatively wholly formed, others are fragments that I feel I need to somehow collect and store in some sort of mental sack. But they are coming so thick and fast that it's difficult to catch them all.

On top of it all, I'm swinging between giddy euphoria and crabbed irritability. This morning I gave an under-trained clerk at the Kingston-upon-Thames branch of Bradford & Bingley a severe tongue lashing by long-distance phone for her employer's utter incompetence. Later on, I was marvelling at kale.

It's probably a combination of averaging four hours of sleep per night, an aforementioned go-go-go time at work, and the floods of caffeine and adrenaline deployed to support it all. Yes, that's the most likely explanation. Just shut up, FiL, and go to bed. Leave the nice people alone.

But perhaps somebody slipped me a tab somewhere.

Or maybe it's something else altogether.

Cabaret Voltaire - Sensoria (buy here)
Shamen - Hyperreal Orbit (buy here)
Add N To X - On The Wires Of Our Nerves (buy here)

Alternate Reality

Dearest Friends, I have managed to escape! Yes, through subterfuge and guile I managed to flee the clutches of Alternate FiL and his easy listening ways. First I stunned him with a blast of Ministry then, while he was clutching his Neil Sedakas, I pulled his polo shirt over his head, and scarpered.**

Ministry - Burning Inside (buy here)

Don't know what I'm talking about? Then have a listen to this week's Contrast Podcast, which presents a parallell universe populated by alternate versions of songs. You know, performed by the original artists, but in a different stylee than the original. You can download the episode here, or subscribe using the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

Right, let's get ready to skew our ears:

(00:41) Nada Surf - Concrete bed
Richard from Invisible Limb
(03:07) The Young Knives - Coastguard
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(07:35) Guillemots - Trains to Brazil
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(11:38) New Order - The beach
Jarrod from Living in fear is no good to anyone
(18:57) The Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(25:16) Blind Melon - No rain
Chip from Donewaiting
(28:01) The Chameleons - Bobby Moore’s wine
Colin from And before the first kiss
(32:07) Mae - This is the last time
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(35:59) Incubus - Drive
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(40:13) Holly Cole Trio - Tango ’til they’re sore
Rick from Are you embarrassed easily?
(45:36) Counting Crows - Have you seen me lately
Dan Beahm from Dan Beahm & The Invisible Three
(49:58) The Sugarcubes - Hot meat
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(53:56) Nick Cave & Blixa Bargeld - Where the wild roses grow
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(58:25) Suede - My insatiable one
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:37) Ted Hawkins - Happy hour
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

I was originally going to submit the Sugarcubes's Icelandic version of "Birthday," but I deferred to Tom's "Hot Meat" (ooer missus, fnarr fnarr). But also in contention was the following alternate "Clay" version of Nine Inch Nails's "Head Like A Hole." It's also highly appropriate in light of my current sleep-deprived state...

NIN - Head Like A Hole (Clay Version) (buy here)

** That's one explanation for my scarcity this week. The alternate one blames it on a very hectic, tiring work week spent tooling around the Lower Mainland from meeting to meeting, making a presentation that I really did not feel prepared to make, and talking business over three very delicious dinners here, here, and here. I don't know which version is real - you decide what to believe. I'm off to bed...

Soft, Soft, Loud

Camera Obscura, Richards on Richards, 13 Feb 2007

Photo by The Get Up Kid

Dearest Friends, last Tuesday I popped down to Richards on Richards to see the lovely Camera Obscura on the last Canadian date of their gruelling world tour. They kicked off in the Yoo Ess of Aaay back in mid-January, and are now on their way to wend round Australia and New Zealand. After that, it's a fortnight break, then back to the UK and continental Europe for another month solid of dates.

With all that touring, it's probably no surprise that they all seemed a bit, well, tired. As in fatigued, mind you, not old or stale. Yes, yes, I know they're not the most rawkous, turn-it-up-to-eleven band at the best of times, but it did seem like they could have used a nice bath, a hot cuppa, and an early night. Sigh, I hope they are looking after themselves.

Still, despite all of that and a pretty sloppy sound system, they were charming. The set, mostly songs off of Let's Get Out Of This Country with a few gems from the back catalogue, didn't vary much from the last time they were in town some seven months ago. But it was delivered so dreamtastically that I was delighted to hear it again. When the first organ notes of "Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken" floated up towards the heavens, those wee hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And this time round, "Country Mile" wasn't spoiled by loudmouth wankers jabbering away up front.

You know, of course, that in the end my heart belongs to Dear, Dear Traceyanne. Though she dresses in schoolmarm chic and comes over all dour and wry, there is something so terribly vulnerable and confessional in her singing that it makes me want to give her a great, big hug. Sigh again.

Camera Obscura - I Love My Jean (buy here )
One of those back-catalogue gems I mentioned. But if you don't have Let's Get Out Of This Country, shame on you! Buy it now here or e-here. Otherwise else I'll get cross.

Opening for Camera Obscura was Portastatic, or rather I should say half of Portastatic, as it was only Mac on vocals and guitar, accompanied by Margaret on violin. I must say that I had theretofore not paid much attention to this band, fronted by the aforementioned Mac, ex of Superchunk. But the duo pumped out some righteous indie folkie sounds, including a fine, heartrending cover of Prefab Sprout's "When Love Breaks Down". I remembered that song as I walked the block back to my car after the show. It was a few minutes into Valentine's Day, and standing on the corner were seven hookers, awaiting business. Somehow it struck me as very, very sad.

Portastatic - You Blanks (buy here or e-here)

Dearest Friends, I have a confession to make. Much as I enjoyed the loveliness of Camera Obscura and was pleased to make Portastatic's acquaintance, I'm desperately feeling the need to rock hard and loud. Yes, I want to go to a gig and come out sweaty, with ears ringing, and possibly a bruise or two. But alas, there is nothing on the horizon that fits the bill. Sigh yet again...

But while I'm waiting, I have We Are THE PHYSICS to keep me company. I discovered these Glaswegian yoofs (does ALL the best music come from Scotland? Methinks it does.) on the gronktastic 20 Jazz Funk Greats blog (memo to self: must add to blogroll). Their single "Less Than Three" is all jerky, angular, garagey, shouty, riffy goodness that runs around your living room, scares the dog, and knocks over the lamp.

We Are THE PHYSICS - Less Than Three (buy here)
And you can see Michael, Michael, Michael, and Chris in speccy, skinny tie action right below!

From The Artists To You

Goodness, this week has squirmed out of my hands and is galloping away towards the sunset. Thursday already, and I had meant to post so much more. Sigh...

Anyway, for those of you who have not yet seen it, Contrast Podcast this week offered up another nifty episode of artists introducing their own songs. I particularly liked the Blur-esque Shakes track and Anibal Miranda's bouncy bit about skirts...

As ever, you can download the cast here, or subscribe in perpetuity using this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast

So, let's turn it over to the folks wot bring you the tunes:

(01:04) racingpaperplanes - In company of ghosts
racingpaperplanes website
(05:29) The Amateurs - Things you only know if you don’t drive
The Amateurs website
The Amateurs on myspace
(09:57) Eric Metronome - Moving Water
Eric Metronome’s website
Eric Metronome on myspace
(12:44) Rain - A brief answer
Rain’s website
Rain on myspace
(16:25) Naomi Hall - Bride of the monster
Naomi Hall’s website
Naomi Hall on myspace
(20:25) Die Romantik - Narcissist’s Waltz
Die Romantik’s website
Die Romantik on myspace
(24:29) V!TAL - More than grime
V!TAL on myspace
(29:07) Anibal Miranda - Mini Saia
Anibal Miranda’s website
Anibal Miranda on myspace
(32:05) The National Pool - A01
The National Pool on myspace
(36:17) Our Little Secret - Easy
Our little secret’s website
(41:30) JBro & Cindy Adzuki - Hippo dances in the rain
Cindy Adzuki’s website
JBro Adzuki on myspace
(44:50) The Shakes - Liberty Jones
The Shakes website
The Shakes on myspace
(49:31) Dean Whitbread - Old
Dean Whitbread’s blog
(55:36) The Me Band - Loaf of bread man
The Me Band’s website
The Me Band on myspace

Next week CP turns again to the hoi polloi and asks them to contribute alternate versions of songs. So if you've got a recording of The Bay City Rollers singing "Saturday Night" in Albanian, Tim wants to hear from you. Pop on over here for directions on how to take part.

Speaking of artists and songs and Tim, our multitalented podcast emcee has produced (yet another) wee gem of his own. It's his fantastic entry for the remix competition being run by Seattle electropunk grrlz The Trucks, and I warn you it's a bit ruuude (a hangover from that X-Rated CP episode, no doubt). But it rocks, and it stonks, and I guarantee it will transport you right to Saturday night in the carpark of The Works Nighclub, Kingston-upon-Thames...

Tim Young - Titties (Largin' It Mix)

And why not check out the original while you are at it:

The Trucks - Titties (buy here)

Good luck, Tim!!

BREAKING NEWS: Merz from Mars Needs Guitars is back online, back in action, and back on track!! So do head on over for some great & groovy music.

Rip Up Your Hearts

Valentine's Day - bah, humbug!! Just a manufactured money-spinner to feed the capitalist machine between Xmas and Easter.

This year, no overpackaged chocs, no environment-degrading, worker-exploiting roses, no enforced dining out for Mr & Mrs FiL. We're staying in, having a nice but simple meal, watching a chick-flick (I Capture The Castle), and scrumming down on something sweet (not Ben & Jerry's - it just hasn't been the same since they sold out to Unilever) on the sofa.

Sod Valentine's Day. Rip up the script. If you love someone, go a step further and surprise them some other way on some random day. Pick them a bunch of daisies from beside the highway. Sing them a song. Draw them a picture. Send them an e-mail poem. Make them a bowl of soup. Go skip rocks together on your local body of water.

Just a suggestion.

P.S. I love you all!!! And here's something to prove it:

Public Image Limited - Flowers of Romance (buy here)

Blancmange - That's Love, That It Is (buy here)

Age of Chance - Kiss (bid here for old skool vinyl)

Julian Cope - The Greatness & Perfection of Love (buy here)

Hedwig & The Angry Inch - The Origin of Love (buy here or e-here)

P.P.S. You've not seen Hedwig?? Oh, you must, it's lovely. Curl up with someone/something you hold dear, watch it, and weep for all that is beautiful and painful.

P.P.P.S. Visions of Vegas coming soon...

And When She Cries Diva, He's An Angel

Dana International just friended me on myspace. I couldn't be happier...

Dana International - Diva (buy here)

Oh, Eurovision 1998 - my heart sings...

I Will Not Buy This Record, It Is Scratched

Yes, this week Contrast Podcast takes us back to the age of vinyl as contributors dig up their favourite 45s and offer them up with a good side order of nostalgia. And what luscious nuggets! 'Public Image' by PiL - one of FiL's all-time favourites!! Aztec Camera's 'Oblivious!! Oh my, I'm hyperventialting

For all you youngsters in the audience, before them megabytes and shiny cee-deez came along, music often came in the form of plastic discs etched with grooves that were played on contraptions called gramophones with needles and large trumpets. Indeed, listening to music in those days was a cumbersome and dangerous process requiring complex problem-solving skills to decide whether to play one's vinyl platter at thirty-three or forty-five revolutions per minute. Getting it wrong often meant deep puncture wounds from the needles or even decapitation from over-rotating records flying through the air. You kids don't know how easy you have it...

But I digress. As usual, you can download the podcast from here, or subscribe using this digital, analog-free feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.

And now let's cue up the record, shall we?

(00:00) Scott Walker - Jackie
Tim from The face of today
(03:47) Jenny Lewis - Paradise
Eric Metronome
(07:33) Booker T. and the M.G.’s - Green Onions
Deek from Pod of Funk
(11:48) Marlena Shaw - California soul
Tim from The Daily Growl
(15:09) Nino Tempo & April Stevens - Deep Purple
Steve from Domino Rally
(18:39) The Spare Blushes - Um, yeah, whatever
Tristesse from And before the first kiss
(23:48) Superchunk - Mower
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(28:21) Screaming Lord Sutch - Jack the Ripper
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(31:25) Dickie Goodman - Mr Jaws
Tom from Other People’s Toys
(34:03) Stories - Brother Louie
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(38:25) Leatherface - Little white god
Jamie from The Run Out Groove
(42:53) Subway Sect - Ambition
FiL from Pogoagogo
(46:59) Pale Fountains - Something on my mind
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(50:25) Aztec Camera - Oblivious
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(54:20) Frank Sinatra - All my tomorrows
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(58:20) PiL - Public Image
SAS Radio

As mentioned in a recent post, I've only just managed to hook up a rickety old turntable to my PC, and the vinyl I have on hand is limited. However, I do have a couple more ripped-from vinyl tracks, both played at 45rpm that were in the running:

Carter USM - Sheriff Fatman (buy here

Ah, memories of Jim Bob and Fruitbat, two skinny blokes with squiffy hair and cycling togs onstage at the Cambridge Corn Exchange, circa 1992. And I once saw John 'Fat Bastard' Beast at Hammersmith Tube Station. But I digress - ripped (imperfectly) from the 1989 12-inch single. Oh, and USM stands for 'Unstoppable Sex Machine.'

Birdland - Paradise (buy here for one lousy US penny!!)

Birdland raged hard for about a year between 1989 and 1990. They were meteoric, carving a white-hot trail through the night sky with a clutch of fantastic songs and electric live shows. Indeed, they inspired the Manic Street Preachers to take up arms. But alas, like the shooting stars they were, they fell back down to earth and drowned in a sea of grunge, mismanagement, and a poor first album. 'Paradise' was the band's second single, and is ripped here from the 1989 12-inch released by Lazy Records.

And for those of you Hungarians wanting English lessons, I point you here.

Of Seagulls, Crockett, and Mullets

I ran so far away...

Dearest Friends, we had a party on Saturday night. But the strangest thing happened... You see, as we were getting ready, there was a slight, yet perceptible slip in the temporal continuuum and all of a sudden the calendar had spun back twenty years or so.

The fridge filled itself with wine coolers and jugs of Fuzzy Navels appeared on the kitchen table.

Sheena Easton perched on our mantlepiece and Billy Idol on our bathroom door.

Then the guests started to arrive. Joan Collins. Jennifer Beales from Flashdance. Some New Wave dude in a skinny tie. Melanie Griffiths out of Working Girl. A couple of chicks looking for an aerobics class. A cop calling himself Detective Sonny Crockett. And two mullets. Most peculiar.

Then, lo and behold, who should appear one of the Flock of Seagulls. It's true. Though the air was hazy wth nostalgia, we managed to snap a fuzzy piccie of him, hanging out with Joan. Look up top, FiL tells no lies!

And the stere-ere-ereo played some fine old tuneage. Here, have a listen:

Animotion - Obsession (buy here)
Big Country - Fields of Fire (buy here)
The Jam - Town Called Malice (buy here)
Ministry - Effigy (buy here)
Musical Youth - Pass the Dutchie (buy here)
Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield (buy here)
X - Breathless (buy here)

But when we woke up on Sunday morning, it was once again 2007, and all we had left from our time shift were empty wine cooler bottles and electric dreams.

La Vie En Rose

Dance, in the old-fashioned way...

This afternoon I strolled over to Granville Island on my lunch hour. While it was a bit nippy, the fog of the past few days and this morning's rime had been dispersed by a gentle sun. Light clouds ambled across a pale-blue sky.

My errands complete and my lunch munched, I drifted past the plaza outside of La Baguette et l'Echalote, a rather yummy bakery. One of the Island's regular buskers, a lean, dapper, bespectacled guitarist/chanteur, was singing "La Vie En Rose." As his calm strumming and evocative voice floated en air, a young couple took to the empty plaza and began to dance.

They stood face-to-face. He put one hand on her lower back, she put one of hers on his shoulder. Their other hands clasped outstretched. He was clad in a Goretex raincoat with a beanie jammed down tightly on his head. She wore jeans, thick-rimmed glasses, and clumpy approach shoes. They were not particularly good dancers. But as they moved uncertainly around the empty plaza, to me they seemed to glide. They were in love, and for the briefest of interludes I was caught in that sweet, crystallized moment.

This has lingered with me all day, and I wanted to share it with you, Dear Friends.

Edith Piaf - La Vie En Rose (buy here)

Charles Aznavour - The Old-Fashioned Way (buy here)

Adult Entertainment

Vegas really has it all...

WARNING: The following post contains mature subject matter, coarse language, and situations of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised. OK, with that out of the way...

Dearest Friends, I have just returned from four days in that modern Sodom & Gommorrah, Las Vegas. And let me tell you that it is indeed a city steeped in sin. Indeed, I feared that my sudden reintroduction to the healthy, wholesome life back home would result in explosive moral decompression. But thankfully I was saved from such fate by this week's Contrast Podcast. Yes, if it hadn't been for the buffer of sleaze provided by this week's 'X-Rated' theme, things could have been messy...

Without any further ado (coz I can hear you panting like dogs in heat), let me direct you to the pot o' sleaze cooked up by Raunchy Tristesse and stirred enthusiastically by Mucky Tim. You can download this filth directly from here, or you can satisfy your urges on a regular basis by subscribing to the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.


(00:39) Cars Can Be Blue - Dirty Song
Sid from Too Much Rock
(02:16) Consolidated with the Yeastie Girls - You suck
Tristesse from And before the first kiss
(07:13) Gert Wilden - Follow me
Michael from The Yank Sizzler
(10:45) Monty Python - Sit on my face
Lyle from Mentok the Mindtaker
(12:19) Kiss - Let’s put the X in sex
Taylor from T-Sides
(16:52) N.W.A. - Straight outta Compton
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(21:19) 101 Strings Orchestra - I got it bad & that ain’t good
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(25:20) Madonna - Where life begins
Matt from Earfarm
(31:14) Super Furry Animals - The man don’t give a fuck
Tutu Vicar from The world won’t listen
(36:06) Mr Bungle - Squeeze me macaroni
Bob from Gimme Tinnitus
(40:57) Nirvana - Wet vagina
Waffles from Waffles radio
(44:52) Billy Bragg - Cindy of 1000 lives
Crash from Pretending life is like a song
(49:13) Frank Zappa & The Mothers - Dinah Moe Humm
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(55:49) Lesbians on Ecstacy - Pleasureprincipal
FiL from Pogoagogo
(01:02:20) Naomi Hall - Until I drown
SAS Radio
(01:05:35) Tenacious D - Fuck her gently
Marcy from Lost in your inbox

At the risk of incriminating myself, let me say that I had an embarrasment of x-rated songs to choose from. See? I'm really a bad FiL, a dirty FiL, who needs to be punished. So send the kids out of the room and have a listen to these heavy breathers:

20 Fingers - Short Dick Man (buy here)

Somewhat annoying, yet oddly compelling choon guaranteed to make most men out there feel completely inadequate.

IDC - Power Slut Kiss [Har Mar Superstar vs Prince] (visit here)

Not as explicit as the rest of the stuff on offer, but this is a deliciously sexy mashup. Squeeze it out, smear it all over your gyrating body, and see what happens.

Bimbo Boy - I'll Make You Come (download more here)

Cheezy, Euro-deesco pap with mondo rauncho lyrics from gay Swedish club icon Dennis Svedberg Hellström. Yes, I also think "Bimbo Boy" is a much better name.

Berlin - Sex (I'm A...) (buy here or e-here)

Miss Terri Nunn was single-handedly responsible for an outbreak of hairy palms amongst teenage lads during the 1980s.

Black Flag - Slip It In (buy here or e-here)

Hardcore in both senses of the word.

Wayne County & The Electric Chairs - Fuck Off (buy here)

Jane (nee Wayne) County is one of my faaavourite transsexual divas, second only to the lovely Dana International of Eurovision fame. But Jane does rock harder.

Next week's CP theme is 'My Favourite 45,' so dust off your old vinyl, plug the phonograph into the PC, and rip your favourite single for submission. Full details on how to submit (yes, Mistress, whip me, beat me, teach me how to love... Oops, sorry, got a little distracted there) can be found right over here.

Vegas report coming soon...

Heaven or Las Vegas?

Well, the truth is I don't really have any choice. I'm off to Las Vegas this weekend, so heaven will have to wait. Of course there are those who equate Las Vegas with heaven, but I cannot count myself amongst them.

I have never visited Vegas and, truth be told, it would not even bother the nether end of my "100 Places To Go Before I Die" list. Indeed, the only reason I'm going is to attend a work-related conference (if any of you do locate a Las Vegas conference calendar, let me assure you that the Credit Association of Footwear Executives shindig is not the reason for my trip). I did mention to Dearest Wife that we might go early and make a weekend of it, just because, but even my suggestion that we could renew our wedding vows at an Elvis chapel of luuurve failed to entice her.

So, why my lack of enthusiasm? To start with, I derive absolutely no pleasure from gambling; my heart does not flutter at the thought of blackjack, nor does the roulette wheel send me all tilt-a-whirl. On top of that, Vegas has always conjured up for me distasteful associations of grotesque excess and parochialism. I mean, why the bloody hell would anyone want to go see an ersatz rendition of the Great Sphinx of Giza in Nevada? Get on a plane and see the real thing in Cairo! Oh, I see, you want to stuff your face at an all-you-can eat buffet and see that dreadful Celine Dion chick warble all in the same holiday. Ye, gods!!

Yet despite my disdain, I find myself on the eve of my departure actually looking forward to the trip with a sense of morbid fascination, which surprises me. And so I step back and ask myself: why? First, I will admit to an ironic attraction to the kitsch. Skinny Elvis rocks 'n' rules, but Fat Elvis enthralls. Let the white tigers go free, I say, but that won't stop me from marvelling at the mammoth bronze busts of Siegfried & Roy (& lion) at the Mirage, where I will be staying. Second, despite my dislike of the Disneylandesque imperative to copy and sanitize the foreign for home consumption, I will be intrigued at the engineering required to recreate Venice's Grand Canal, complete with gondolas and gondolieri, at the Venetian. Third, I must admit to being attracted by the theatre and melodrama of a place where everyone seems to be pretending or aspiring to be something or someone else.

So, will I come back disgusted and repulsed, or charmed and exhilarated? Or both? Or neither? Aha, I think I get it: I really don't know what to expect. In many ways for me this is a trip into the unknown, and that's exactly the kind of trip I love the most.

Anyway, Dear Friends, my jaunt means that I'm unlikely to be around much until the latter part of next week. Do take care of yourselves, and I will leave you with a few Vegas tunes to enjoy until we meet again.

Cocteau Twins - Heaven or Las Vegas (buy here or e-here)
Dead Kennedys - Viva Las Vegas (buy here or e-here)
Suicide - Goin' to Las Vegas (buy here or e-here)

P.S. Spoilt Victorian Child is back. Rejoice! Then go visit him here.

Acting Silly

Play that funky music, Nimoy...

But, soft! what cacophony doth yonder eardum break? Yes, this week Contrast Podcast features actors who got a bit beyond themselves and decided to turn their hand to making music. But for the mirth and merriment their attempts have provoked, I think we'd all agree they should have stuck to their scripts. So, if you dare, you can download the podcast directly here or subscribe using this direct feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ContrastPodcast.

And so, without further ado, lights, camera, and a one-two-three-four:

Playlist:
(00:00) Orson Welles - I know what it is to be young (but you don’t know what it is to be old)
Tim from the face of today
(05:25) Isabelle Adjani - Le bonheur c’est malheureux
ZB from So the wind won’t blow it all away
(08:44) John Goodman - People like us
Jarrod from Living in fear is no good to anyone
(13:30) Dogstar (Keanu Reeves) - Cornerstore
Andy from Circles of Concrete
(18:20) 30 seconds to Mars (Jared Leto) - Capricorn
Waffles from Waffles radio
(22:29) Leonard Nimoy - The ballad of Bilbo Baggins
FiL from Pogoagogo
(25:51) William Shatner - In love
Marcy from Lost in your inbox
(30:49) Jennifer Love-Hewitt - Me and Bobby McGee
Natalie from Mini-Obs
(34:49) Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue - Where the wild roses grow
Tutu Vicar from The world won’t listen
(38:49) Vincent Gallo - Laura
Ross from Just Gimme Indie Rock
(42:47) Julie Delpy - A waltz for the night
Crash from Pretending life is like a song

Yep, the tuneless Mr Spock Leonard Nimoy was the Screamer Of The Week for me, and I've been waiting for a chance to unload that 'Bilbo Baggins' tune on you poor (but still Dear) unfortunates for some time now. Apparently some record exec in the late sixties saw Nimoy as the next teenage heartthrob, and thought 'Bilbo' would be the tune to break him. There was even a video of sorts recorded for some hip, kids show of the time. With only the highest in production values, it really must be seen to be believed. And lo, via the magic of YouTube, I can give you the experience right here.

However, there were two other contenders, both as egregious as Leonard Baggins, but truth be told I did not want to dwell on the choice too long as I feared I might actually start liking these songs. Actually, consider yourselves lucky, as I nearly foisted David Hasselhoff on you. Yes, that hunk of cheese, he of Knightrider and Baywatch fame, went and got himself a singing 'career' in the late eighties. Truth be told, the Germans love him and his jaw-dropping schmaltz-o-pop. Indeed, the title track of his his first album, 'Looking For Freedom,' became an anthem of unification and stayed at number one for eight weeks. Hey, 82 million Teutons can't be wrong - or can they?? I offer up evidence that they most certainly can in the form of The Hoffmeister's 1997 cover of Jonathan King's 1971 cover of (are you still with me?) B.J. Thomas's 1969 hit, 'Hooked on a Feeling.' Exhibit A: the indescribable video. Exhibit B: the song itself, reproduced below in full 128 kbps glory. Altogether now: OOGA CHAKKA!!

David Hasselhoff - Hooked on a Feeling (buy here, but don't tell anyone that you did)

The other contender was Eddie Murphy's 1985 hit 'Party All The Time.' No use begging folks, I'm on a roll here and will not stop. Produced and written by Rick "Superfreak" James, it boasts Eddie putting on a formidable falsetto. Oh, alright, seeing as you're now all threatening to slash your wrists, I'll end it here. Just be grateful I didn't go for 'Boogie In Your Butt.' But you can't resist clicking the link below, can you??

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time (buy here)

Next week's theme, suggested by Dearest Tristesse of And Before the First Kiss, is 'X-Rated.' I'm counting on all of you to flood Tim's inbox with filth and smut galore - and I'm sure you are all up to the task! To find out how you can participate in the debauchery, just follow these easy steps.

For those of you forward thinkers, in two weeks time Contrast Podcast will be featuring 'My Favourite 45.' The idea is to submit your favourite single, preferably recorded directly from a much-loved, 7-inch circle of vinyl. So get cracking! Oh, and for all you kidz born with silver compact discs in your mouths: the hiss, crackle, and pops are all part of the experience.

For some time I've had Dearest Father-In-Law's antediluvian Dual 1210 turntable sitting next to the PC, and the '45' theme finally prompted me to try hooking it up and generating some sound. So, after much tinkering and some creative engineering to make the knackered stylus work, I managed to rip my first piece of vinyl. Yaaay! And the track I chose? The frantic, shouty, metallic 'Amok' by German industrial dance nutter Ledernacken. Think of him as the anti-Hasselhoff. And speaking of x-rated, well, my German is very rusty, but trust me when I say the lyrics ain't no nursery rhyme. For many, many years this 12-inch single lay unplayed, and I was unable to source a CD version anywhere. So though the sound quality isn't perfect, I'm thrilled to finally have it digitized and to be able to share it with you, Dearest Friends. Get your hobnailed jackboots on and dance, dance, dance!

Ledernacken - Amok (try finding it on eBay)

Just Doin' The Do

Oh, my word! Who would have thought it would come to this? A whole gaggle of grown men reduced to tittering hormonal lusting longing vainly after a flash-in-the-pan, nineties pop sensationette. But it's true. Oh, Betty Boo, where are you baby? We used to have so much fun. You drive me crazy...

I blame Young Tim of Contrast Podcast fame. Yes, had he not chosen BB's (N.B. Not to be confused with that other BB, Billy Bragg, a/k/a the Big-Nosed Bard of Barking) frugtastic 1990 hit 'Where Are You Baby?' as his submission for this week's cast, none of this would have happened. But he did, and you can read about the resulting kerfuffle over here. Thanks Tim, hope you realized you've whacked all of our hormonal balances completely out of equilibrium.

I asked myself what it is about BB that set me all aflutter those seventeen (gulp!) years ago. I mean, to start with, it really wasn't my kinda music. On top of that, her singing was nothing extraordinary, and her rapping was more Vanilla Ice / Wee Papa Girl Rappers rather than LL Cool J / Missy Elliott. She was Drop Dead Gorgeous (apologies to Republica, who, come to think of it, also boasted a rather pulchritudinous female lead singer), but that itself is not sufficient. I think what really did it was the irresistable, popaliciously hooky tuneage of that first album (Boomania), combined with the quirky comic-book, retro sci-fi style in which she was wrapped. To tell you the truth, I blanked everything else that followed, but that succulent debut has made me a permanent slave to her rhythm. And so to compliment Tim's submission, I give you both this here video and that there song:

Betty Boo - Doin' The Do (buy here)

Betty recently re-emerged with Blur's Alex James as WigWam, which purported to offer "experimental yet accessible 21st century pop". Their 2006 release met with an underwhelming reaction. I don't really want to talk about it, but you can have a look over here.

Alright Luvs, in an attempt to stop the hot flashes, let me now turn my hand to a spot of housecleaning. Hold on while I slip into me housecoat, put on me headscarf, and grab my featherr duster. There, all set. Now let's tidy the old blogroll. The time has come to remove a few departed cyberfriends from the shelf. So farewell it is to Capas de Culto (muito obrigado, Mary!), Good Hodgkins, Clever Titles Are So Last Summer, This Isn't What It Looks Like (hope to see you around, Dear Galateaa), and You Can Call Me Betty (do tell us when the podcasts go live, Oh Simone). As Abba once sang, thank you for the music.

But along with tidying up comes sprucing up. To wit, I'm very happy to be placing a few shiny, new friends on the pogo a go-go mantlepiece. So please welcome Crash Calloway at pretending life is like a song, JC tha Funky Caledonian at Vinyl Villain, and Dearest Dr Tristesse at Before The First Kiss (hmm, I feel I know you from somewhere...). They are all lovely people with fantastic taste in music, so do go visit them - links are over on the right.

There, that looks much better. Time to hang up the housecoat...

And finally, we started in 1990, but we'll end in the 1980s. You see, in a few weeks we will be hosting an eighties party, and I've been preparing the soundtrack in advance. So far I have over five hours of music queued up on the old laptop, which is a good start, but there is still more to be mined. In digging through the hard drive, I unearthed two rough gems that rocked my teenage world. I remember spending many pubescent hours in front of my boom box, fingers poised to hit Play/Record, waiting for some fine WLIR DJ or other to play them. So, Dearest Friends, here they are, from me to you:

Cult Hero - I Dig You (buy here)
Cult Hero were basically early Cure in disguise, and the song was written to see if Robert Smith & Simon Gallup were musicaly compatible. It manages to be menacing, hypnotic, and groovy all at once, and the dumb lyrics (enunciated by Smith's postman, wouldja believe) are just a scream.

Beastie Boys - Cooky Puss (buy here)
The first Beastie track I ever heard. Essentially a series of prank phone calls set to crunching, phat beats and bass overlaid with pimordial scratching. For the uninitiated, Cookie Puss is an cake made by Carvel, a US ice cream franchise. Yo, where's the supervisor at??