Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Filthy Little Christmas


I made this...


So Dearest Wife whips up a batch of lovely gingerbread homunculi, which she and the Delightful Children decorate in a manner appropriate to the season. At my request, they leave me a couple to embellish. After all, it's the family togetherness wot makes this time of the year special, right??

My first attempt results in a rather unconvincing zombie; it was hard to get the exposed brain just right. But my second baked golem turns out rather better; Dearest Friends, I give you the anatomically (more-or-less) correct Ginger Bready, the most sensuous erotic artiste ever to be formed out of pastry. OK, the kids think she's wearing a bikini and holding a cellphone, but y'all know it's really boobs 'n' pubes 'n' lube...

Actually, I blame all this filth on Dearest Tart. Yes, I was lured into the sultry world of Chrimbo smut by her provocative posts here and here. There oughta be a law against this sort of thing, but I'm glad there isn't, because I'm about to drip some seasonally saucy sounds all over you...

The Bellrays - All I Want To Do Is Shag For Christmas (buy e-here)
Dear Santa, for Christmas please can you bring me Dearest Wife with a ribbon (and nowt else) round her waist? Just mind where you put her, the tree can get a bit prickly. I've been too good all year. Love, FiL.

Ms Jody - Humping Santa (buy here or e-here)
Well, I think the bluesy Ms Jody got EXACTLY what she wanted from the man in red.

The Soul Sisters - Wreck A Buddy (buy here)
OK, strictly speaking this isn't a Chrimbo tune, but these Jamaican lasses do get all rude to the tune of Little Drummer Boy. So it counts.

Broken Social Scene - Handjobs For The Holidays (buy here or e-here)
A specialty item - you don't see these advertised at Wal-Mart...

And What Will Be Left Of Them? - Have Yourself A Filthy Little Christmas (from the 2006 Filthy Little Angels Xmas album - go download the magnificent 08 edition here)
Not the smuttiest song under the tree, but a rollicking tune with the best title! And I hope you do, Dearest Friends, I really hope you do!!

12 comments:

Natsthename said...

THat one might scare the little FiL-lets, but if you put a bag over her head...

Mentok said...

That's right, in the immortal words of Frank Sinatra, just put a bag over her head and do your business.

FiL said...

Nah, the bairns weren't scared - again, they think Ginger's at the beach in her bikini, chatting to her friends on a cellphone...

a Tart said...

Once again we prove that youth is truly wasted on the young!

Always glad to be your muse xoxoxo

T&F@tlh said...

Oh FiL,

What would they say in the SBR?

Big kiss.

T

JC said...

Canadians are weird....

Just a Girl said...

*snicker*

a Tart said...

visualize Marilyn Monroe... close your eyes now... "Happy Birthday ......to.......you. Happy Birthday .........to........youuuuuuu. "

you know the rest. you are the best (don't tell the others, darling)

muuuuuuuahhhhhhh! I adore you, you filthy, gorgeous, beautiful man, you!

xoxooxxooxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxooxoxox,
Tart

Rachel said...

Tis the season. :-)

Happy Birthday dear Armadillo.
Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Haven't eaten her yet then!

From your birthday surprise.

Greer said...

I see your artistic genius shines through in any medium.

Merry Christmas x.

JC said...

don't encourage him folks.....